You'd Be Home Now

Emory and Gage have been friends since childhood, though as they aged, they didn’t interact much due to being in different social circles. Emory can see Gage’s window from her room, and one night they made eye contact and Gage texted her. He was struggling with reading Our Town for a class assignment. Through the text thread, Gage reminded Emory about the time that her parents made her recite a poem at her birthday party, and she chose an Anne Sexton poem entitled “The Black Art” which uses the word erection which made everyone at the party uncomfortable. Gage texted her his favorite line, “[s]he thinks she can warn the stars” (68), which was Emory’s favorite line, though she didn’t fully understand the meaning.

Emory noticed Gage looking at her at school, but he never spoke to her. Life at home was difficult with Joey’s problems, and Emory felt lonely and forgotten. Any attention from Gage made her feel wanted and special. He texted her and asked to come over and they began meeting in secret, at his request, in her pool house. Emory says that they don’t have sex because Gage doesn’t want to complicate things, and since she is inexperienced, Emory isn’t certain how to categorize their physical interactions. She just knows that it makes her feel good. Gage made it clear that he was not interested in a relationship, yet as Emory lies in bed after another tryst, she knows that she is falling in love.

Joey and Emory are watching television together on the couch and Max de Vos, one of Joey’s friends from school, rings the doorbell asking if he can visit Joey. Max once showed up at school so high that he passed out on his lunch tray. Joey tells Max that he can’t spend time with anyone using drugs. Max says that he’s not high and begs to play video games, but Joey asks him to leave. Max rides off dejectedly on his skateboard, and Joey sadly closes the door. Emory encourages him that he will make new friends, but Joey says that he won’t.

Joey becomes very agitated and calls his counselor, Shadow, at Blue Spruce. While Joey speaks to Shadow, Emory overhears Joey saying, “I don’t know anyone who doesn’t use” (75). Shadow asks to speak to Emory, and he tells Emory how fondly Joey spoke of her while he was at Blue Spruce. Shadow says that Joey is brave for reaching out and asking for help and explains how isolating it can be for people in recovery to find friendships. He asks Emory to take Joey on a walk or hike to help relieve his stress and anxiety. Emory explains that she can’t hike but says that they can swim. Joey ends the call with Shadow and tells Emory that he left his swim trunks in Colorado. Ryleigh appears, ready for a swim, and offers for Joey to borrow a pair of Gage’s trunks. They spend the afternoon splashing and laughing and Joey relaxes into the fun. The scene reminds Emory of their family beach trips and she longs for those carefree days with her siblings.

Gage calls over the fence for Ryleigh to return home for a haircut appointment. He awkwardly exchanges pleasantries with Joey and decides to join them for a swim. Emory feels uncomfortable swimming with Gage while keeping their secret. She recalls that he didn’t even text her while she was in the hospital. As he and Joey discuss returning to school, Joey mentions that many of the baseball players sell their pain meds, but Gage tells him “[n]ever [to] touch the stuff” (81). Gage asks Joey to play video games inside, and Emory assumes that he is a safe person. A little hurt that they don’t invite her, Emory stays in the pool, but Gage nods towards the pool house indicating that he wants to meet later.

Emory has a nightmare about the party in which Candy approaches, blouse ripped and tears streaming down her face. She begs Emory to leave the party and points to a guy in the corner who grabbed her. Suddenly Candy’s mouth opens, and blood pours out into Emory’s hands. She awakens from the dream and goes to Joey’s room for comfort thinking about how her father used to sing “867-5309/Jenny” to her after she had a nightmare. She climbs into Joey’s bed and asks if he ever thinks of Candy. Joey sleepily tells her that the nightmare is just anxiety about starting school the following day. Emory hates that all her friends have abandoned her, and Joey promises that they can be alone together. The chapter ends with the image of a social media post from someone named “Mis_Educated” who wrote a poem about all the things that they hate about Heywood High School including the drug use and unfair teachers. The post alludes to Candy’s death and a few commenters mention those involved in the wreck including Luther who is in juvenile detention.

Joey hates the clothes that Emory purchased for him. Abigail checks his pockets and reviews the afternoon schedule. Joey must attend tutoring to catch up after getting behind the previous year, and he is responsible for driving Emory home from school. Getting in the car with Joey for the first time since the accident makes Emory nervous and she has a flashback to the night of the accident. Joey notices her unease and promises to drive carefully. His mother purchased him a new car, and he worries what their classmates will think. As they drive, Emory notices the quaintness of their town, describing Mill Haven as “neat and tidy, nothing out of place” (90). However, Emory doesn’t feel as though she belongs anywhere in her hometown. She and Joey postulate how their classmates will react to them, since many blame them for Candy’s death. Emory tells him that their mother considered sending her to boarding school and him to military school.

Liza Hernandez used to be one of Emory’s good friends, but Emory’s mother made her end their friendship. Liza is walking to school, and Joey stops to offer her a ride. Since she and Emory haven’t spoken in four years, the car trip is awkwardly silent. When they arrive at school, Liza exits quickly but Joey and Emory linger in the car prolonging the inevitable. As soon as they walk inside, they can feel people staring at them. Joey speaks to a few friends, but Emory panics. Joey takes her aside and reminds her of how he told her on the first day of ninth grade that high school is like the ocean where many types of creatures live. Every creature is unique and is trying to survive, however, few of the creatures are dangerous. He reminds her that even when the waves crash over her, she must push back to the surface and swim to survive.

Emory visits the counselor, Ms. Diaz, who mentions that Emory’s grades slipped last year and encourages her to choose another extracurricular activity since she can’t be on the dance team. Emory reluctantly agrees to join the Drama Club which meets while Joey attends tutoring. Ms. Diaz’s printer malfunctions and while she steps out to use another one, Emory steals a seashell from her desk.

Though her classes go smoothly, Emory dreads the exposure that lunchtime will bring. She slinks along the edge of the lunchroom to the back where the unpopular kids eat and takes a seat next to Jeremy Leonard, Luther’s brother. Emory and Jeremy are the same age and were once acquaintances due to their brothers’ friendship. They eat in silence as Emory glances at her former friends across the lunchroom. Lucy Kerr, Candy’s best friend, approaches and emotionally exclaims that it’s wrong that Joey got a new car when he’s responsible for someone’s death. Lucy continues to berate both Emory and Jeremy until Liza approaches and tells her to stop bullying them. Liza reminds Lucy that it was an accident, but while Liza is talking, Emory begins to have another flashback to the accident. After Lucy retreats, Emory thanks Liza for stepping in, but Liza tells her that she must courageously stand up for herself if she is to survive the school year. Emory glances across the lunchroom at Gage, whom she hopes has noticed her, but he is paying attention to the girls at his table. Emory does make eye contact with Daniel Wankel standing alone at the back of the lunchroom. Daniel, who dresses in blazers and scarves, missed half of the previous school year for unknowable reasons, though the students circulated many rumors about him.

Emory attends Mr. Watson’s literature class. As the teacher begins, Liza raises her hand to object to the syllabus. She doesn’t think that they should read Lolita by Nabokov because it features grooming and sexual abuse of an underage girl. Her comment kicks off a slew of objections to other books such as The Scarlet Letter and The Great Gatsby. Several students object to the lack of diversity and representation in their assigned reading and some request books that focus less on adult lives and center on the teenage experience. The passionate rebellion takes Mr. Watson by surprise, and he pledges to think about their argument and reconsider the assigned reading. Emory sits silently at the back of the room, only exchanging a few laughs with Daniel when he makes a joke about Fitzgerald’s East Egg and West Egg in a basket.

Emory exchanges texts with Joey and he asks her to attend his outpatient meeting with him. Mr. Stanley holds Drama Club in the auditorium, but Emory feels immediately uncomfortable when she arrives and sees many of Candy’s friends in attendance. Jeremy is there, and he encourages Emory to give it a chance. Jeremy shares with Emory that Luther lost an eye in the crash and that he is currently in juvenile detention since he had a large amount of drugs that he intended to sell. Emory once again thinks about how her parents act like nothing happened when in fact, that night changed life for everyone involved. Like Emory, Jeremy feels invisible in his home with all the attention on Luther.

Mr. Stanley arrives and asks the students to take a moment of silence for Candy, who used to be in drama club. During the silence, Emory thinks of the accident and how she was the last person to see Candy alive. Emory blames herself for Candy’s death because she offered her a ride home but let Luther drive since she had been drinking. Before she realizes it, she is crying, her tears puddling on the floor. Mr. Stanley leads them through warm-ups and then through an exercise where they pretend to be animals. Though she initially feels silly crawling on the ground and howling, Emory admits that in a way, the exercise is freeing.

On the ride home, Joey and Emory compare their days. Some of his friends asked Joey to smoke pot after school, but he refused. The admission makes Emory nervous, but Joey says that he is managing “[o]ne day at a time” (117), just like he learned in recovery. The chapter ends with another social media post from Mis_Educated which decries the social strata of Heywood. The post mentions the students whom they lost including Candy, Wilder Wicks who died of cancer, and Shannon Roe who died by suicide. They are memorialized in a special cabinet at school. The end of the post says, “[h]ow heartbreaking it is to be us sometimes/How heartbreaking it is to be young sometimes” (118). Several of the comments echo the sentiment and the last commenter says that they fear that they can’t survive their loneliness much longer. 

As they arrive at the clinic, Joey shares with Emory that while at Blue Spruce he felt calm and sheltered being away from his family and around people who share his struggle. They must sit in a waiting room for the meeting to begin, and Emory looks around at the different types of people waiting, realizing that none of them fit the stereotypical view of people who struggle with addiction. Some people are waiting for the meeting, but others are waiting for a dose of Suboxone. One boy who waits with his mother shares that religion saved him from addiction, but his mother blames the pharmaceutical companies. This makes Emory think about her prescription from Dr. Cooper and she wonders if taking the pain pills was wrong. Another woman shares her story about her daughter who has been through withdrawal nine times and her mother fears this may be her last chance. One boy says, “[w]e are weak because we have holes in our souls and the drugs fill them” (123). Emory wonders what holes Joey is trying to fill.

After Joey attends the meeting, they drive past Frost Bridge where displaced people live. The people in town call them “ghosties” (124), but Emory thinks that, like the people at the clinic, they look like normal citizens. Remembering their lawn maintenance man, Jim, who died from an overdose, Emory boldly asks Joey if he took Oxycontin. He begrudgingly begins to share his story. Joey’s parents made him take behavior-modification drugs when he was a child because he struggled in school. After injuring himself by jumping off the roof into the pool, Joey took painkillers and became addicted to how calm they made him feel. Soon he began sharing the pills with Luther, and they began raiding other friends’ medicine cabinets for prescription painkillers bought from athletes at school who sell pills. Once those sources ran out, they began buying from a house on Wolf Creek Road. This led to Joey’s overdose of heroin at the party. He attempts to explain to Emory that what she sees as reckless behavior is a coping mechanism for never feeling like he measures up to their parents’ standards. Taking opiates took him out of this world of pain into pure bliss. Emory tells Joey that she understands what it feels like to be on the outside, but he angrily tells her that she has no idea what it’s like to be him.

Two weeks into the school year, Joey’s mother gets him a job at Hank’s Hoagies, a sandwich shop, but he is uncertain that he can balance work with school and his outpatient meetings. Emory defends him by saying that it’s too soon to pile on more responsibility, but their mother won’t hear it, claiming that the job is part of Joey’s contractual agreement. Emory remembers what she read in the Blue Spruce handbook about people in recovery needing structure, but she isn’t sure that the job will be good for him. Joey doesn’t argue and accedes with his now signature response of, “[o]kay.” Emory’s mother suggests that Emory visit Joey at work when he’s there late, but internally she thinks that she’d rather wait at home for Gage to text her.

Emory has another nightmare about the night of the accident. She relates the dream in a stream-of-consciousness style as everything flows and blends. She remembers holding Candy’s hand at the party as they searched for Joey. They found Leonard in the bathroom with two girls, but he laughed, telling them that Joey couldn’t drive them home. After more searching, they found Joey lying on a bed completely out of it. Luther carried Joey to the car and offered to drive when Emory admitted that she’d been drinking. Leonard didn’t wear his seatbelt and Candy huddled in the back seat with Joey.

It's two o’clock in the morning when Emory awakens from the dream. She texts Gage and asks to meet him in the pool house. He meets her there, and Emory wants to tell him about everything, but instead, they begin kissing. She enjoys the feeling of losing herself in someone and forgetting about everything else. The chapter ends with another social media post from Mis_Educated complaining about how parents don’t listen to teenagers and don’t try to understand their perspective. The post lists all the past responses that parents give to teenagers when they talk about their problems. In the comments, people agree with the sentiment, and one commenter asks for help locating their sister, Carly, who went missing after attending a party in Mill Haven.

Mr. Watson makes some slight changes to the literature syllabus and assigns the students The Color Purple by Alice Walker. However, the content of the novel makes some students uncomfortable, and Max refuses to read it. While students film the interaction, Liza proclaims that some of the students are boycotting Mr. Watson’s class and won’t be completing any of the assignments. Mr. Watson sends Max and Liza to the office while half the class follows in protest. Emory stays put because she can’t risk angering her mother.

Emory walks to Drama Club and overhears Mr. Watson speaking to the other teachers in the lounge about what he calls “a riot” (142). Mr. Stanley defends the students' right to ask for a change, but Mr. Watson argues that teenagers are too sensitive and should put aside their gripes and do their work. He lists all his grievances with the students including Daniel Wankel’s choice to always wear a scarf. He also refers to Liza’s parents who are missing. Mr. Stanley reminds him that the students are still children and explains that Daniel had thyroid cancer and wears the scarf to cover his surgery scar.

Emory remembers how her friendship with Liza ended. She once spent a lot of time at Liza’s house, though she noticed that Liza’s parents had strange behavior and often disappeared for long periods, returning with red eyes. One day, Emory’s mother saw Liza’s parents getting high in their car. Liza broke off all contact with Emory and later told her that Abigail had come to their house and forbade her from having any contact with Emory. Abigail filled Emory’s schedule with dance classes which made Emory feel like her mom was trying to “make me Maddie 2.0” (145). Eventually, a neighbor reported Liza’s parents to social services and her grandmother became Liza’s caregiver.

During Drama Club, Mr. Stanley makes them select a partner to practice dialogue. Emory notices that Jeremy and Liza paired off and are now a couple. Emory pairs with Priscilla, a tall blonde whom she’s noticed sitting with Gage at lunch. Priscilla asks Emory about her fancy home and tells her to put in a good word for her with Gage because she plans to ask him to the Fall Festival. Emory swallows all the information silently, considering her and Gage’s secret relationship, while fumbling through the Romeo and Juliet scene.

Emory catches Joey flirting with his tutor, Amber, in the library. She worries that Amber isn’t a safe person, but Joey claims that it’s refreshing to meet someone who doesn’t know about his past. He adds, “all of high school is high-risk” (151). Emory gathers her courage to ask Joey if he’s ever had sex. Though uncomfortable with the conversation, he says yes, though he explains that he has never experienced sex while sober. Emory wants to tell him about Gage but is too embarrassed to admit that she knows nothing about sex other than what she learned in health class. Joey encouragingly says that he’s certain someone will be attracted to her and she must be confident to stand up for what she wants in a relationship and that he will punish anyone who hurts her.

Max returns to visit Joey, but Abigail tells him that he can’t see him. As Emory sits on the porch talking to Max, Gage returns home from a run and speaks to Max but ignores Emory. Gage texts her later and asks if they can meet in the pool house after he attends a party. Emory agrees, though she briefly considers what Joey said about standing up for herself. Abigail leaves to attend a city council meeting about selling the Mill. Joey returns home from work and wants to watch a movie with Emory, but all she can think about is meeting with Gage later. The chapter ends with a social media post from Mis_Educated asking what everyone is doing on Saturday night. The commenters mention the wild party that Gage attends while others share about their loneliness. Someone mentions missing Shannon Roe and Candy.

Emory waits expectantly for Joey to go to bed and at 10 o’clock sneaks outside to the pool house. Suddenly, Joey is behind her sleepily asking what she is doing. Emory lies, claiming that she left her book in the pool house. Gage, who is about to climb the fence, waits until Joey is back inside. Inside the pool house, Gage caresses Emory’s hair and tells her that he was jealous seeing her talk to Max earlier. Emory wants to tell him how she feels about the secrecy of their relationship, but he starts kissing her before she can speak.

When Emory returns to the house, Neil is just coming home from work, and seeing her startles him. Emory repeats the lie about the book and assures her father that Joey is asleep. He notices her flushed complexion and wonders if she is getting sick, and Emory is touched that her father still worries about her. Neil says that he is happy that she and Joey have a good relationship. Later, Gage texts Emory and tells her that he likes their secret arrangement and asks her to quote some poetry.

The Drama Club students perform an exercise about getting into a character where they construct the character’s backstory for the audience with their body language. Mr. Stanley asks Jeremy to demonstrate by assuming the role of an angry man which triggers a deep emotion inside Jeremy as he claims that his character is angry because he is waiting for someone who never shows up on time and doesn’t care about him. Mr. Stanley is pleased with the “performance,” though Jeremy later tells Emory that it stems from the truth. He traveled two hours by bus to see Luther, and Luther showed up late to see him and only stayed for a few minutes. Liza is up next, and while she performs the exercise, Emory thinks about how their lives once were so different but now addiction has touched her family, too.

Emory accompanies Joey to the outpatient clinic where attendees are being drug-tested. While she waits for Joey, a man tells her how easy it is for someone to cheat on the test. Emory doesn’t enjoy going to the clinic because it is dirty and garbage-strewn, and she wishes that the people in recovery had a more inviting place to go for therapy. Gage texts her and asks for help with reading a play. He wants Emory to come to his room instead of meeting in the pool house. When she says that it might be too late in the evening, he responds, “just tell your mom you’re helping me […] Mothers love me, Emmy” (176-77). She agrees to help just for 30 minutes after she goes to work with Joey.

Emory helps Joey with his closing duties at the sandwich shop so that she can get home in time to see Gage. Though Emory doesn’t know anything about the possible sale of the Mill, Hank, the shop owner, explains that some people want to build high-end apartments on the site while others want to build a rehabilitation center for the citizens struggling with addiction. Hank hopes that Emory’s mother chooses the apartments because he would welcome wealthier patrons and doesn’t want “the wrong kind of traffic from the city” (179). Emory wonders if Joey is that same kind of “wrong” person.

Joey exhaustedly attempts to complete his math homework. When Emory says that she is going next door to tutor Gage, Joey asks why Gage would seek her for help when he has a private tutor. Hurt by his assumption that a popular athlete wouldn’t want to spend time with her, Emory prepares to leave, but Joey apologizes and begs her to stay and help him with math. Seeing how tired and worn down he is, Emory ignores Gage’s texts, sends Joey to bed, and completes the homework for him. Later, Gage texts her and asks her to come to the window. He snaps her photo and asks her to lift her shirt slightly. She refuses, but he pleads, saying that he is going out of town and wants a picture of her. She agrees and lifts her shirt, exposing her midriff. Gage slides the waistband of his pants down and Emory takes a picture. He takes another photo of her doing the same. Emory experiences some confusing feelings about the exchange but admits that it is thrilling. Gage promises to keep the photos private. The chapter ends with a post from Mis_Educated discussing the literature boycott and what they consider the pointlessness of their other classes. They mention the upcoming Fall Festival, and in the comments, some people express anxiety about not getting a date.

Mr. Watson allows Max and the other students to choose one book to read for class and construct a 30-page essay in response. Some students think that 30 pages is too long, but Liza celebrates what she sees as victory. Emory chooses The Portrait of a Lady because she likes the quiet contemplativeness of the story and the complexities that lie beneath the protagonist’s façade.

Mr. Stanley leads the Drama Club students through another exercise in emoting on stage and calls on Emory to recite lines from a Shakespearean sonnet. At first, the exercise fills her with anxiety as she considers all the other students watching and judging her. However, she begins to think about her photo exchange with Gage the previous night, and the memory fills her with untamed energy. She delivers the lines with passion and relishes the feeling of disappearing into a character on stage. She thinks, “I feel protected, someone else’s words in my mouth” (192). The performance pleases Mr. Stanley, but Emory notices Priscilla watching her with keen intrigue.

At home, Emory notices a flyer for a recovery center called “NewDay” (193), a non-profit organization that has offered Abigail one dollar for the Mill and all its surrounding properties and buildings to construct a multi-faceted rehabilitation center for those struggling with addiction. Abigail says that she is insulted by the low-ball offer and wonders if the condominium development is a better idea. Joey argues in favor of the center, but she reminds him of the historical value of the Mill property to both the town and their family. Joey presses further, claiming that their family caused harm by closing the Mill, costing many their jobs as well as polluting the creek with chemicals. Abigail angrily defends their family’s many monetary contributions to the town before storming out of the kitchen. Emory says that he went too far, but Joey says that they must use their family’s wealth and privilege to help others instead of ignoring the problems.

Emory texts Gage and they begin swapping photos again, this time with Emory completely topless. They masturbate simultaneously while watching each other through the window. Emory says that afterward, she feels, “warm and electric, but [she] feel[s] sad, too” (198). She asks Gage if they could have a real date out in public. He says that he likes their arrangement, but she is free to end it at any time.

Emory sits with Jeremy and Liza at lunch. Daniel joins them, and they laugh recalling a memory of when Daniel clogged the toilet on a class field trip in elementary school. Emory makes eye contact with Daniel and realizes that he has beautiful blue eyes. Though no one was planning to go, Daniel convinces Jeremy and Liza to attend the Fall Festival and asks Emory to join them. She declines, claiming that she must stay with Joey. Liza tells her that she needs to stop giving up her dreams to help Joey and live her own life.

Mr. Stanley wants the Drama Club students to begin preparations for the fall performance. When Emory expresses hesitation, Mr. Stanley asks Liza to mentor her in preparing a monologue from Hamlet. Liza reluctantly accepts the job and awkwardly asks for Emory’s phone number, and Emory tells Liza it’s the same as it was when they used to be friends.

After Joey attends tutoring with Amber, he and Emory visit their Nana to rake leaves. Nana happily greets Joey and tells him that she is happy that he is back home. While he works on the leaves, Nana speaks to Emory. She notices something different and guesses that it’s a crush, but Emory doesn’t tell her about Gage. Emory reminds Nana that they have a room prepared for her and encourages her to come and live with them, but Nana is happy living independently for now. After he rakes the leaves into a large pile, Nana encourages Joey to jump in it like he did when he was a kid. After he leaps and lands, Joey begins to cry over the simple joy.

Emory hides in her closet and calls Maddie to get advice on Gage, though she doesn’t reveal his name. Maddie is upset that Emory didn’t tell her sooner that she had become sexually active and encourages her to use birth control. After grilling her with questions, Maddie understands that the behavior is consensual, and Emory enjoys being sexual. However, keeping the relationship a secret makes Emory sad and Maddie says, “[y]ou deserve better than to be a secret, Emmy. You don’t have to take scraps” (214). She encourages Emory to push him to appear in public, and if he refuses, break it off. Just before she hangs up, Maddie warns her to never send anyone nude photos. Emory panics and texts Gage asking him to delete the photos, and he agrees to erase them. Emory summons her courage to ask him to the Fall Festival, but he only promises that they can talk at the dance.

Emory’s mother agrees to let her attend the dance only if Joey goes with her, so she chooses a special outfit, which includes stolen hair clips. Once at school, Joey sees Amber and joins her while Emory meets up with Jeremy, Liza, and Daniel. Despite Daniel’s warning, Emory approaches Gage and asks him to dance. He coolly rebuffs her, claiming that he can’t dance. Priscilla sweeps in and drags Gage onto the dance floor while Gage’s friends laugh at a stunned, weepy Emory.

Emory searches for Joey and sees him arguing with Lucy Kerr. As he runs from the gym, Emory chases him outside but can’t find him, and he doesn’t respond to her texts. Daniel follows Emory and consoles her as she cries on the bleachers. She asks him why he keeps his scar hidden, and he says that no one believes that he had cancer and it’s easier this way. Emory shares that she has a scar, too. Gage and his friends, who are drunk, emerge from the gym and begin playing catch on the baseball field. When Daniel tells her that she should let go of the crush on Gage, Emory slips and reveals that they have been hooking up. Suddenly, Joey returns having overheard what Emory said. He is high and thinks that Gage assaulted Emory. Before she can stop him, Joey rushes the field and attacks Gage who falls on his arm with a scream as it snaps.