Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman

“Despite Pat’s quickness to resort to his fists, he was in many ways the antithesis of a bully. As a matter of principle, he fought only with kids who were bigger than he was, and on several occasions, he intervened to rescue nerdy classmates who were being hassled by older, larger tormentors. But when Pat fought, he fought to win and never capitulated, which earned him the reputation at Leland and beyond as a guy not to be trifled with. In the pack he ran with, there was no question in anyone’s mind that he was the alpha male.” 

This passage explores Tillman’s masculinity. He was as susceptible as any to the violence nurtured in young boys in America, but even as an immature youth, he was thoughtful. In contrast to the trigger-happy gunners with whom he would later serve in Afghanistan, Tillman’s expressions of violence were calculated, rather than indiscriminate.

“Yousef had learned the art of making bombs from a manual written by the CIA for the mujahideen to use in their struggle against the Soviets. He was given the CIA instruction booklet while attending an al-Qaeda training camp in Khost.” 

Here, Krakauer details the education of the architect of the 1993 parking garage bomb that attempted to bring down the World Trade Center. The educator of this terrorist is the very mark that his aggression seeks: the United States. This shows a deep interconnectedness between al-Qaeda and the U.S., intimating that war is not as black and white as the media paints it to be.

“Before the Soviet invasion, Kandahar’s farmers produced an abundance of figs, melons, peaches, grapes, and pomegranates that were deservedly renowned for being the most delectable on earth. As part of the scorched-earth policy they implemented against the mujahideen, however, the Soviets not only obliterated these orchards and vineyards; they also destroyed the elaborate, centuries-old irrigation systems that had enabled the desert to bloom. To survive, the farmers started cultivating poppies instead, which needed to be watered only once every five days or so. And as the opium fields proliferated, militias vied to control the lucrative traffic in ’flower oil’—a local euphemism for the gummy brown sap scraped from the plant’s seed capsules to produce heroin.”

This quote shows the roots of Afghanistan becoming the main trader of heroin in the world. Again, interconnectedness is shown in the Soviet’s actions having long-lasting effects on the country’s means of survival. This results in eventual conflict with the U.S. due to warlord violence and U.S. military retributions. 

“Despite this chilling assault on education, the rights of women, and ordinary pleasures, the initial response of most countries (including the United States) to the ascendancy of the Taliban ranged from apathy to guarded optimism. Any political entity that managed to replace Afghanistan’s hellish state of anarchy with some kind of order was thought to be a good thing.” 

This further illustrates the fact that war is full of grey areas, rather than the black and white narrative imposed by those in power. The Taliban initially emerged as a beacon of hope, a perception that extended beyond Afghanistan. However, even the fact that they were perceived as “good,” despite their oppressive rhetoric concerning women and education, is problematic. 

“The juxtaposition of Pat’s vulnerability with his fearlessness and self-assurance is not an easy thing to wrap one’s mind around, but it was an absolutely central aspect of his personality […] It goes back to this incredible sense he had of who he was—his self-confidence. He didn’t feel the need to hide much, or pretend to be something that he wasn’t. He wasn’t insecure about the sensitive side, or worried that he wasn’t tough. He considered both qualities important, and didn’t see them as irreconcilable in any way.” 

In this quote, Marie explains the seemingly paradoxical aspects of Tillman’s character. To be an idol of manliness—on a grand scale as well as a smaller scale—and to also embrace his sensitivities and vulnerabilities is a challenge within a culture of strict gender roles. Tillman’s self-confidence supplements these varying aspects of his identity.

“He believed that to experience personal growth, he had to be willing to take calculated risks. In so doing, he trusted that his strength and athleticism, augmented by good judgment, would keep him from harm. He possessed that trust since before he was even old enough to articulate it.”

Here, the author expresses Tillman’s reliance on his physicality. He used his athleticism to spur his personal growth, both physically and mentally. This trust in his own ability was ingrained within him from the beginning of his life, and though it served him well, it also contributed to his downfall. In part, his love of sports like football forged a connection in his mind between masculinity and socially-acceptable violence.

“Annoyed by the Americans’ refusal to take the bait, bin Laden resolved to keep attacking prominent symbols of American hegemony until the United States would finally have no choice but to invade Afghanistan and become mired in an unwinnable war, just as the soviets had.” 

The determination of bin Laden to goad the U.S. into war was immense. Such determination grew from the disillusionment much of the Middle East experienced regarding the US. When George H.W. Bush effectively abandoned his support of Iraq and Afghanistan after the Soviet’s withdrew, he sowed deep seeds of resentment. These seeds further blossomed during the Clinton administration, due to a series of global interventions by the U.S. and its allies.  

“Pat was impervious to greed. His belief that other things in life took priority over amazing wealth never faltered. But if Tillman was uncommonly resistant to the temptations of the baser human appetites, and was thereby well defended against attempts by others to manipulated him into doing their bidding with such enticements, he found it nearly impossible to resist appeals to his sense of decency and justice. Paradoxically, this latter trait would ultimately prove to be his downfall.” 

This excerpt comes after Tillman turns down a $9.6 million contract to stay with the Cardinals. Such a move was unprecedented in the world of professional sports. Although Tillman’s strict moral guidelines protected him from those trying to benefit from his materialism, they also led to his death; his tenacity and unwillingness to compromise his own values prevented him from leaving the Army when he had a similar multimillion-dollar contract offer later.

“Because he loved engaging in informed debate, Pat made an effort to study history, economic theory, and world events from a variety of perspectives. Toward that end he read the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Quran, and the works of writers ranging from Adolf Hitler to Henry David Thoreau. Although Tillman held strong opinions on many subjects, he was bracingly open-minded and quick to admit he was wrong when confronted with facts and a persuasive argument.” 

Here, the author displays Tillman’s love of reading and intellectual stimulation. Not only did he expose himself to diverse perspectives, he approached them with curiosity and humility. All of this culminated, for Tillman, in a better ability to engage with his community.

“For much of my life I’ve tried to follow a path I believed important. Sports embodied many of the qualities I deem meaningful: courage, toughness, strength, etc., while at the same time, the attention I received reinforced its seeming importance. In the pursuit of athletics I have picked up a college degree, learned invaluable lessons, met incredible people, and made my journey much more valuable than any destination. However, these last few years, and especially after recent events, I’ve come to appreciate just how shallow and insignificant my role is. I’m no longer satisfied with the path I’ve been following…it’s no longer important.” 

This quote shows Tillman’s realization that his professional football life was insignificant in the face of world events. He didn’t deny or disavow his experiences in the NFL; in fact, he expressed gratitude for how these experiences enriched him. After the attacks on 9/11, however, Tillman was spurred to take the next step in his life, always seeking to reach toward what he deemed the most important use of his extraordinary energy.

“Passion is what makes life interesting, what ignites our soul, drives our curiosity, fuels our love and carries our friendships, stimulates our intellect, and pushes our limits…A passion for life is contagious and uplifting. Passion cuts both ways…Those that make you feel on top of the world are equally able to turn it upside down…In my life I want to create passion in my one life and with those I care for. I want to feel, experience, and live every emotion. I will suffer through the bad for the heights of the good.” 

Here, Tillman explores another vital aspect of his being: his passion. This bootcamp journal entry foreshadows Krakauer’s final meditation on Tillman. In embracing all aspects of life with fervent passion, Tillman embodied one of the most important characteristics of the übermensch.

“It may be very soon that Nub & I will be called upon to take part in something I see no clear purpose for…Were our case for war even somewhat justifiable, no doubt many of our traditional allies…would be praising our initiative…However, every leader in the world, with a few exceptions, is crying foul, as is the voice of much of the people. This…leads me to believe that we have little or no justification other than our imperial whim. Of course Nub & I have…willingly allowed ourselves to be pawns in this game and will do our job whether we agree with it or not. All we ask is that it is duly noted that we harbor no illusions of virtue.” 

This quote shows Tillman’s astute apprehension of the political situation surrounding his deployment. With Bush’s invasion of Iraq on the horizon, Tillman acknowledged his role as a pawn destined for a job not chosen by him. The military’s idea of virtue was a far cry from his own, however. 

“My heart goes out to those who will suffer. Whatever your politics, whatever you believe is right or wrong, the fact is most of those who will feel the wrath of this ordeal want nothing more than to live peacefully.” 

Here, the author shows Tillman’s compassion. He was a trained killer by the end of Ranger instruction, yet by the time he reached Iraq, Tillman’s personal morality was as strong as ever. Despite his eagerness to face combat, Tillman never dehumanized his apparent opponent. 

“Chaos is indeed the normal state of affairs on the battleground, and no army has figured out a way to plan effectively for, let alone alleviate, the so-called fog of war. When the military is confronted with the fratricidal carnage that predictably results, denial and dissembling are its time-honored responses of first resort.” 

The lack of communication that occurred in multiple battles Krakauer describes seems unnecessarily chaotic. Here, that chaos was normalized as a part of war. Unfortunately, the resultant cover ups and lies the military used to explain fratricide only deepens this tendency toward miscommunication on both a micro and macro scale.

“If fratricide is an untoward but inevitable aspect of warfare, so, too, is the tendency by military commanders to sweep such tragedies under the rug. It’s part of a larger pattern: the temptation among generals and politicians to control how the press portrays their military campaigns, which all too often leads them to misrepresent the truth in order to bolster public support for the war of the moment. The fact that the United States has used misinformation to promote the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is not terribly surprising, therefore. What is alarming is the scale and sophistication of these recent propaganda efforts, and their executors’ unabashed actions. The Bush administration took the ruthless stratagems developed by Karl Rove to impugn its political opponents—stratagems that relied heavily on managing public perception by means of deceit—and used them to promote the Global War on Terror, a name that was itself deliberately intended to help sell the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.” 

This excerpt addresses the larger problem of governmental dishonesty . In this case, it’s on a much greater scale than ever seen before. The military campaign became vastly more important than the lives of the actual men and women assigned to carry it out. Thus, communication broke down on a higher level, trickling propaganda down to the rest of the populace, including the soldiers.

“On March 30, al-Houssona actually put Lynch in an ambulance and instructed the driver to drop her off at a nearby American military checkpoint, but Marines shot at the ambulance as it approached, forcing it to turn around and take Lynch back to the Iraqi hospital.” 

This quote shows how insistently the military industrial machine pursued its self-designed narrative. When Lynch was injured, her captors did everything they could to heal her and attempted to return her safely. When that didn’t fit with the story the government wanted the public to hear, they changed it. 

“Engaging in mortal combat was not an aspect of their service they sought to avoid. To the contrary, they’d aspired to it since they were small boys. They were itching to confront the enemy firsthand and prove themselves under fire. Approximately half the platoon had never been in a firefight. Most of the untried Rangers yearned to experience the atavistic rush of having to kill or be killed—a desire more common among the male population than is usually acknowledged in polite company.” 

This passage further explores the theme of masculinity and violence. Krakauer acknowledges the unspoken desire to be in a “kill or be killed” situation, and how that contributes to the frenzied firefights that later occur. He attributes this to deeply ingrained masculine ideals. 

“In other words, the sense of urgency attached to the mission came from little more than a bureaucratic fixation on meeting arbitrary deadlines so missions could be checked off a list and tallied as ‘accomplished.’ This emphasis on quantification has always been a hallmark of the military, but it was carried to new heights of fatuity during Donald Rumsfeld’s tenure at the Pentagon. Rumsfeld was obsessed with achieving positive ‘metrics’ that could be wielded to demonstrate progress in the Global War on Terror, or the illusion thereof.” 

Here, the standards set by governmental powers directly affected the lives and subsequent deaths of soldiers on the ground. Krakauer acknowledges that checking missions off a list in a quantitative sense is a common tenet of any military. Rumsfeld took it to an extreme measure in the interest of molding public opinion and to justify the very action in the first place. 

“Ever since the invasion of Iraq, body armor (or, more specifically, the unavailability of effective body armor for some soldiers) had been a sensitive issue. As a result of political fallout, a decree had come down from the highest levels of Central Command that regulation body armor absolutely must be worn whenever contact with the enemy was likely. Weeks thus told Tillman that ’no, he couldn’t’ drop his armor.”

In this excerpt, Tillman uses wisdom gained during his NFL years to try to shed unnecessary weight during combat, thereby risking less injury. Initially, the denial of this request seems like another example of harmful bureaucratic fixation. Ironically, his body armor delayed his death, as a round later ricocheted off his chest. 

“Hodne assured Kevin that whoever was responsible for Pat’s death would pay dearly for their actions. This would turn out to be the first in a long string of broken promises and self-serving lies proffered to the Tillman family by commissioned officers of the U.S. Army.” 

This lie set off an onslaught of dishonesties by many who knew the truth of Tillman’s death. This quote is also an echo of some of the Pashtun principles espoused early on. Emboldened by his pursuit of justice, Kevin successfully avoids falling into despair after his brother’s death.

“Sarbanes was therefore puzzled by Gimble’s ‘strange credulity,’ pointing out that when Army officers repeatedly violated procedures and protocols, ‘it makes it hard to believe that after a certain point of time this was accidental—that there wasn’t some kind of pressure; maybe not direct, but an atmosphere of indirect pressure being brought to bear.’”

Here, representative John Sarbanes refers to the three deficient investigations leading to yet another deficient investigation. The “atmospheric pressure” he acknowledges is pressure from President Bush and his administration for a specifically fabricated story of Tillman’s death. Gimble’s “strange credulity” is another indicator of sweeping denial throughout the upper echelons of power.

“The bottom line is the American people are capable of determining their own ideals for heroes. They don’t need to be told elaborate lies…The truth of war is not always easy. The truth is always more heroic than the hype.” 

This excerpt is from Lynch’s testimony. After her story was spun into fiction so thoroughly, she had the opportunity to speak about the similar situation that befell Tillman. She echoed principles that Tillman held fiercely: those of truth and personal discernment. 

“There is something about Pat that affected almost everybody who was close to him. It’s made me want to continue living in a way that honors him. I want him to be proud of the way I live my life and handle things…I’ll admit it: It’s hard. It’s hard to keep going, but I know that for me to just give up, that would piss him off.” 

Marie’s struggles after Tillman’s death were as profound as the impact he had on her life. Her commitment to living a life he’d be proud of was no small task, as the narrative shows. These feelings directly lead to her founding of the Pat Tillman Foundation.