What Is The What

Deng is still on the floor and is being mocked by Powder and Tonya: “Look at this guy. Bleeding from his head and looking so mad!” (15). Deng’s phone begins to ring, which lets him know it is around 5 o’clock in the afternoon. The other Sudanese Lost Boys often call him for advice, news, camaraderie, and assistance, and he has made a deal with them to only call him after 5 o’clock because before that, they would call at all hours and keep him too busy. Deng talks about how they really have nobody else but each other:

In many cases, the Lost Boys of Sudan have no one else. The Lost Boys is not a nickname appreciated by many among our ranks, but it is apt enough. We fled or were sent from our homes, many of us orphaned, and thousands of us wandered through deserts and forests for what seemed like years. In many ways we are alone and in most cases we are unsure of where exactly we’re going (16).

He explains that there are few women and few elders in the US from Sudan, and so the Lost Boys are very much reliant on each other. One of the disadvantages of this is that they often end up sharing unfounded rumors and feeding each other’s paranoia.

When the Lost Boys first arrived in America, many of them stayed inside, watched TV, and tried to avoid the outside world. They often felt targeted, usually by young African-American men, which led them to wonder how they were perceived. Deng remembers a time when he got off work at Best Buy, where he labored in the stockroom, and two African-American teenagers harassed and followed him. He admits that some of this is the perception of the Sudanese, who see American movies and how black people are represented as gangsters and thugs, leading their elders to warn them to stay away from African Americans.

When they arrived in America, at JFK International Airport, they were promised three months’ rent and money for groceries. Deng quickly found that he needed a second job, as this was the only money he would be given, and one job was just not enough. As he watches Powder and Tonya debate about the police presence, he considers how he would like to be somewhere else, such as Florida, with his sponsor, a well-off man named Phil Mays. Deng was invited to spend the weekend at Ponte Vedra Beach with Phil’s family, but declined, thinking of his midterm exams. He has been thinking about leaving Atlanta because he has so few allies in the city.

Finally, the police drive away, and Powder and Tonya carry all of Deng’s valuables out to their vehicle. After they go, Deng goes to check out the damage to his apartment. His roommate, Achor Achor, has had his room completely dismantled, and most of their valuables are now gone. He goes back to the living room. Powder and Tonya have returned, arguing about re-packing the car so the TV can fit. Deng tells them to leave. Powder punches Deng so hard that he loses consciousness.

Deng wakes up with his wrists bound and tape over his mouth. A young boy, Michael, who is Tonya’s son, sits at Deng’s kitchen table, watching Deng’s stolen TV. Michael is no older than 10. He wonders about the boy’s job of guarding Deng, and thinks back to his own time guarding the guns of various members of the SPLA, the Sudan People’s Liberation Army. Thinking too hard makes him pass out again; when Deng awakens, it’s dark outside. He decides that if this boy is indeed guarding him, he is definitely leaving Atlanta for somewhere better:

The Sudanese who are not heading to Canada are moving to the Great Plains, to Nebraska and Kansas—to states where cattle become meat. Meat processing is high paying, they tell me, and it is relatively inexpensive to live in these parts of the country (27).

Deng looks up at the couch and remembers his girlfriend, Tabitha, who entwined herself with him on the same couch not long ago.

The boy goes to the fridge and looks for food. Deng thinks he will find nothing to eat, since he cooks in the Sudanese way, which many Americans find not to their liking. He is sure that the boy knows nothing of his story, or of the struggles Deng dealt with in Africa. Deng would tell stories to anyone who would listen about what he went through, but also told stories silently to people who had wronged him, even if he was really powerless to stop them from their transgressions. He watches the boy get comfortable and thinks back to when he saw some of the Lost Boys get carried off by lions. The boys were all marching in a long line, when a lion came out of the tall grass and grabbed a boy named Ariath. Their leader, Dut, told them to sit down and remain still, but one of the boys, Angelo, ran, and was quickly captured and killed by the lion. After that, the boys found a place to sleep, where they all huddled together, spine to spine, to try and protect themselves against attackers, both human and otherwise. Dut, trying to help the group sleep better, would often tell them to picture the ideal day:

Now create in your mind the best of days, and memorize these details, place this day center in your mind, and when you are the most frightened, bring forth this day and place yourself within it. Run through this day and I assure you that before you are finished with your dream-breakfast, you will be asleep (33).