Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World

In Chapters 1 and 2, Murthy introduces The Impact of Loneliness on Physical and Mental Health, arguing that social isolation triggers biological and social reactions rooted in human evolution and genetics and that loneliness is a pervasive global issue.

Murthy cites studies to support his claims about loneliness. In Chapter 2, for example, he discusses Cacioppo’s work on social connection, which posits that the human need to connect is biologically and socially rooted in human evolution. As Murthy observes, the evidence supporting Cacioppo’s theory stretches back 52 million years. In 2011, anthropologists at the University of Oxford discovered that the earliest monkeys and apes did not connect in pairs, as researchers previously believed, but in groups of both sexes. This happened as previously nocturnal primates started hunting during the day, which made them more visible to predators. Strength in numbers thus made social connection important, supporting the book’s theme Social Connections as an Antidote to Loneliness.

Murthy also uses statistics to support his arguments and establish the role of genetics in chronic loneliness. For example, he cites Cacioppo’s study of loneliness and genetics published in 2016 in Neuropsychopharmacology: “the tendency to feel lonely over a lifetime, rather than just occasionally due to circumstance, is between 14 and 27 percent heritable based on an analysis of common gene variants” (53). The scope of the study lends weight to the conclusions: Over 10,000 people aged 50 or older participated in the study.

Murthy also examines the pervasiveness of loneliness, emphasizing both its scope and the global scale of the issue. A 2018 report by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, for example, reveals that 22% of American adults are often or always lonely: “That’s well over fifty-five million people—far more than the number of adult cigarette smokers and nearly double the number of people who have diabetes” (26). Similarly, a 2018 AARP study validated by UCLA found that one in three adults in the US over the age of 45 is lonely, while one-fifth of respondents from a Cigna survey from the same year said they rarely or never feel close to people. Studies from other countries echo these findings, revealing that loneliness is a global problem:

Among middle-aged and elderly Canadians, nearly one-fifth of men and around a quarter of women said they feel lonely once a week or more. One-quarter of Australian adults reported being lonely as well. More than two hundred thousand seniors in the United Kingdom ‘meet up with or speak on the phone with their children, family and friends less often than once a week’;13 percent of Italian adults report having no one to ask for help; and in Japan, over 1 million adults meet the official government definition of social recluses, or hikikomori (26).

In addition to conveying the prevalence of loneliness worldwide, statistics support Murthy’s claims about its harmful effects on human health. For example, a 2009 study at Brigham Young University revealed that those with strong social connections are half as likely to die prematurely than those with week social connections. Thus, the impact of loneliness on lifespan is equal to smoking 15 cigarette per day. It also exceeds the risk associated with excessive alcohol consumption, obesity, and lack of exercise. A 2013 poll of American general practitioners reiterated the health risks of social isolation, with 75% reporting that they saw up to five patients each day for conditions driven primarily by loneliness. These statistics support Murthy’s argument about the negative impact of loneliness on health and the necessity of social contact. As he puts it, “Just as hunger and thirst are our body’s ways of telling us we need to eat and drink, loneliness is the natural signal that reminds us when we need to connect with other people” (27).

These chapters establish Murthy’s use of anecdotes to connect with and engage readers by highlighting both his authority, as a physician, and his vulnerability, as a person who has experienced loneliness. Chapter 1 opens with an account of his first day as a doctor at Brigham and Women’s Hospital. Murthy includes details that not only allow readers to visualize the moment, but also convey its importance: “I was wearing a pressed white coat and […] smiled at the security guards and passing staff. For them, this was just another day at a busy urban hospital, but for me, it was a day I’d remember for the rest of my life” (19). Chapter 2 also starts with an anecdote as Murthy describes the public reception of an article on loneliness he wrote for the Harvard Business Review. Murthy accepted an invitation to speak on the subject from an Iowa radio station, where listeners called in to share their experiences. Their openness prompted Murthy to reflect on his childhood experiences with loneliness as an immigrant: “[W]e didn’t have anyone who shared, much less understood, our culture or traditions […] It took me a long time to feel that I belonged here” (38). This anecdote not only generates empathy for the author—a key emotion for fostering connection—but also conveys the scope of the loneliness problem.

In addition to anecdotes, Murthy employs vivid diction. In Chapter 1, for example, he tells the story of a baker who quit his job and moved to an affluent enclave after winning the lottery. Murthy describes James’s new home as a “gilded cage” (23). Similarly, he describes solitude as “the space where we confront our demons” (25). This word choice serves to promote an engaging and accessible, rather than purely theoretical, tone.