Three Women

“A friend of mine who thought menage a trois squalid and nearly despicable […] found Sloane’s story illuminating, raw, relatable. And it’s that relatability that moves us to empathize.”

Taddeo hopes that her readers will find moments of relatability and connection to Sloane, Maggie, and Lina. Female sexuality and desire tend to be viewed as problematic and uncomfortable, and Taddeo challenges this preconception. She chooses subjects who can reflect with honesty and humility on their experiences and urges readers to understand and empathize, rather than to judge.

“I didn’t want to know about my mother’s desire.”

Taddeo reflects on how little she knew of her mother’s sexuality, or her mother’s secret desires. Taddeo’s own discomfort when confronted with these details forced her to acknowledge the way that female desire is not as readily accepted in society. These reflections ultimately lead Taddeo to the idea for Three Women which aims to unflinchingly document and explore female desire.

“You are a crazy girl. You want money, is what people think, and for this man to pay for something he didn’t do.”

Taddeo draws attention to and problematizes Maggie’s characterization by her community, lawyers, and jurors, as “crazy” and “troubled.” Hoy, Knodel’s lawyer, intentionally emphasizes her parent’s drinking, her family’s class, and her sexual history. All these factors are contrasted against Knodel’s stable nuclear family and his professional success to characterize Maggie as unreliable and dishonest.

“If she skips dinner she feels okay about her stomach.”

This matter-of-fact statement reveals Lina’s insecurity which borders on self-loathing. She is desperate to be considered attractive. This foreshadows Lina’s obsession with Aidan; his thinking that Lina is “cute” validates and delights her.

“Even in the most complex of conjured realms, Sloane could not imagine a time machine convincing enough to take them back from this.”

Sloane agrees to involve another person in her and Richard’s marital bed. Sloane’s decision is based on Richard’s desire, not her own, and the reader senses her hesitation and regret. There is also the sense that Sloane recognizes that this sexual act has fundamentally altered her primary relationship, opening a kind of Pandora’s box.

“On top of feeling impure and gross, she longs for the man to whom she lost her virginity.”

Maggie is confused in the aftermath of her affair with Matteo. According to North Dakota law, Maggie was raped. She feels exploited and used, but at the same time she misses Matteo. In this anecdote, Taddeo highlights the complexities of female sexuality and desire.

“He writes, I’m a teacher and you’re a student, and we shouldn’t be talking like this.”

Over the Christmas break of Maggie’s senior year, the tone of Knodel’s messages to Maggie shift, becoming flirtatious and provocative. Maggie is confused at his attention but is also intrigued and excited, sensing something illicit in their exchange. These messages set the precedent for the way that Knodel initiated, drove, and controlled the entire relationship.

“Slowly but decidedly Lina tells the room about her husband, Ed, how for three months she waited in their bed for him to touch her body.”

At a women’s support group in her hometown in Indiana, Lina confesses to the strangers that her husband Ed will not have sex with her. He also won’t touch or kiss her. This absence of physical closeness is devastating to Lina and drives her to her affair with Aidan.

“It gets to feeling like a perfect storm, the hormones and the eleven years and the multiple washings of the kitchen floor and Ed turning over in bed every night and putting his back to her and all the panic attacks and the lonely feelings in this big house, of feelings newly pretty in this big, lonely house.”

Lina’s growing desperation is made apparent. She feels her life slipping away as she completes monotonous chores. Ed’s refusal to touch her becomes more devastating for Lina after she loses weight. She feels newly slim and sensual but feels lonely and trapped in her life. Her affair with Aidan is foreshadowed is her desperation for physical connection.

“She cannot believe how good it feels, how much even as she is losing herself in the moment she is concurrently feeling every inch of her soul waking up and smiling up at God, for the first time grateful to be alive.”

For Lina, sex with Aidan is a transcendent experience which makes her feel fulfilled and wholly satisfied. He is the sexual antithesis to Ed, who won’t kiss her or touch her.

“There are also the other rules, not really rules but things you do so that the married teacher you’re having an affair with doesn’t get spooked and remains turned on and into you. Like wearing sweatpants and no perfume.”

Even at the height of their romantic relationship, Knodel imposed strict rules to protect himself from being discovered having an affair with a student. Furthermore, Maggie is under constant pressure to perform for Knodel and to live up to the expectations of what he needs her to be. This speaks to the power which Knodel held in every facet of their relationship.

“In the waiting room, Dyan said, This is for you, honey. I think you’ll be more comfortable if you lost some weight.”

Sloane’s mother takes her to be put on diet pills when she is in the fourth grade. Through her mother’s lessons, Sloane is taught from an early age that her value lies in her physical appearance. Sloane develops an eating disorder in her teenage years and carries insecurities and self-loathing into adulthood.

“What was more shocking than the accident itself was that nobody in Sloane’s family said, Thank God you’re alive. Her parents were quiet and discerning. They murmured about what they’d have to do in the morning.”

Sloane feels that her family presents only the facade of a loving family unit, but that there is no genuine affection and care. Their apparent indifference to Sloane’s wellbeing after the car accident epitomizes this.

“Her family didn’t question her new body or her new habit. The closest her mother came to Why are you trying to kill yourself? Was Why do you flush the toilet so many times?”

Sloane’s mother’s lack of intervention in the face of Sloane’s very apparent eating disorder suggests that Sloane’s bulimia was, if not endorsed, certainly tolerated in a household where appearance was valued above genuine wellbeing. Sloane was shaped and traumatized by her childhood. As an adult, she always presents a facade of cool and suave togetherness but usually feels empty and unhappy.

“Lina knows the literal translation of I don’t want to hurt you is I want to have sex with you, but I don’t love you. Lina understands this on some level, but she can’t completely believe it. She was dead for so many years, or slowly dying, and now she has come back to life.”

Aidan is the antithesis of all that is dull, boring, and monotonous in Lina’s life. Lina loves him obsessively and is drawn to him even though she registers his comparative lack of investment and commitment. Lina was metaphorically dying in her loveless and sexless marriage, and sex with Aidan feels like coming back to life.

“Anyhow your psychiatrist has been telling you that what happened means you are a victim and not a spurned lover.”

Years later, Maggie begins to understand that she was assaulted by Knodel, who was in a position of power. The shocked reactions of others and the language which they use allows Maggie to reconsider and understand the way she was exploited and abused. This leads Maggie to decide to report Knodel.

“The prosecution does not dismiss one woman who, during questioning, asserts that a young lady, seventeen years of age, should have known better.”

Taddeo explores the ways in which the judicial system failed Maggie. This juror was clearly not open to viewing Maggie as an exploited minor and victim, and her inclusion in the jury is presented as inappropriate. Furthermore, her sexist comment alludes to the way that women are positioned as responsible for the actions of men. There is the implication that, as a woman, Maggie should have guarded herself against Knodel’s advances but not that he should never have made them.

“Incoming calls, from Aaron to Maggie, forty-six at 752 minutes.

Outgoing calls, from Maggie to Aaron, forty-seven at 1,405 minutes.”

The prosecution presents the call log between Maggie and Knodel during the time of the alleged affair. They further detail the number of calls made after 10 p.m. Incredibly, the defense manages to convince the jury that these calls were within the bounds of a student/teacher relationship. Taddeo implies that despite clear evidence suggesting Knodel’s guilt, most people were inclined to believe him over Maggie, because of his gender, age, and profession.

“What she really wanted was for Richard to explain to Jenny that he’d pushed her to do it, which was the truth. She wanted him to say, Look, this isn’t Sloane going after Wes; we were confused about your relationship. This is something we both did as a couple.”

Sloane, Wes, and Richard are equal parties in their consensual sexual affair; however, Sloane is the one to be publicly critiqued. Taddeo invites her readers to consider the double standards which condemn Sloane for her sexuality, but not Richard or Wes.

“Hey, he said, do you want to…mess around?”

Sloane remembers a time, when she was nine years old, and her older brother Gabe propositioned her. She replies “casually,” because she doesn’t want him to feel weird. This disturbing request sets up a precedent for Sloane of being fetishized by the men around her. It also illustrates Sloane’s tendency to normalize and reassure men to ensure their comfort, rather than asserting her own pain. This tendency explains her relationship with her husband as an adult, where she acquiesces to his requests to make him happy.

“The world sees Aaron Knodel as people are primed to see him.”

Taddeo explores the way that men (particularly successful, good-looking, white men) are more likely to be believed than women. She problematizes the implicit biases which are held in society, as these lead to miscarriages of justice, such as in Maggie’s case.

“You’re the woman, Jenny repeated. Don’t you know you’re supposed to have the power?”

Sloane is assumed to be the driving force, the calculating seductress, behind the affair with Wes. In actuality, the affair was decided upon by Richard. Taddeo draws the reader’s attention to the sexist accusation made by Jenny, that the affair was Sloane’s fault. In fact, Sloane feels powerless in the situation.

“Don’t let them see you happy, she whispered.”

Taddeo’s dying mother tells her to never let other women see her happiness. She suggests that women feel better when other women are suffering, and that to seek out a life of joy and desire is seen as presumptuous and problematic.