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52 pages 1 hour read

Lucy Score

Things We Left Behind

Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 2023

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Symbols & Motifs

“Lucifer” and “Pixie”

The nicknames “Lucifer” and “Pixie” are used to refer to Lucian and Sloane, and these epithets also symbolize the supposed differences in the two protagonists’ personalities. Lucian and Sloane are often positioned as opposites, for as the narrative simplistically states, “[Lucian] was tall, dark, and evil. [Sloane] was short, fair, and awesome” (12). Because they are conditioned to see each other as opposites in terms of personality, values, and lifestyle, Sloane and Lucian never allow themselves to envision dating each other, and this irrational resistance prolongs the angst and tension of their impending romance.

Though Lucian is affectionately referred to as “Luce” or even “Lucy” by his few friends, he is more commonly “Lucifer” in the eyes of Sloane “and the rest of his legion of enemies” (10). Lucian’s nickname is coined by Sloane in adulthood and symbolizes his “downfall” from the sweet, tender boy she once knew, for from her perspective, she sees his adult self as an indifferent and cold-hearted man with icy control over his emotions. The nickname is therefore an embodiment of the changes that Lucian has undergone after the trauma of his teen years. The nickname’s negative connotation hints that these changes are not for the better, and have instead caused him to fall from Sloane’s grace. In contrast to “Lucifer,” Sloane is depicted as “an obedient golden retriever” (12), or a literal angel, as when she makes snow angels in Chapter 4. Lucian nicknames Sloane “Pixie” to conjure the fantastical image of a small fairy or sprite that is childlike yet mischievous. Although this nickname seems opposite to that of “Lucifer” in every way, the mischievous aspects of the creature highlight the fact that there are hidden similarities between Sloane and Lucian which will eventually come to light.

Chess

Lucian’s past has solidified his obsessive need for control in adulthood. Lucian has come to appreciate and rely on strategy and the long game in both his personal life and in business. With Rollins Consulting, Lucian “mov[es] pieces around on the world’s biggest chessboard for the greater good” (99) every time he removes a corrupt politician for power and positions a better candidate in their place. Lucian’s iron control and patient sense of strategy allow him to prepare for the worst and then take the steps needed to avoid it. Sloane sees this quality in Lucian when she says, “You strike me as the kind of man who goes into every situation having considered every possible scenario” (196). These qualities in Lucian are first birthed in the moments he spends learning to play chess with Simon Walton as a teenager, and the symbolic significance of the game is invoked again in his adulthood as he plays chess with his therapist friend, Emry.

Chess teaches Lucian valuable lessons on patience and control—both qualities his father never had. At the kitchen table with Simon during his teen years, Lucian’s experiences with his own father make him uneasy when he sees the Waltons indulge in small amounts of alcohol, but he soon learns that they possess the self-control to avoid abusing the substance. By witnessing the positive role models of the Waltons and absorbing valuable lessons from Simon, Lucian is able to apply what he learns to all areas of his life. For example, whenever the adult Lucian wants a cigarette or a drink, he abstains because he “prioritized the long game over short-term fixes. Which meant ignoring [his] baser instincts” (22). By keeping to these tenets, Lucian ensures that he never adopts the bad habits that would potentially lead him to mirror the behaviors of his father.

Homes

The respective homes that Lucian and Sloane inherit serve as motifs for the theme of Complex Family Legacies. Sloane has inherited a large Victorian house from her parents. The home was built with the intent of housing a large family, yet it remains empty aside from Sloane. Sloane’s desire for a husband and several children is inspired by her father’s enviable marriage with her mother, Karen, and his dream of having many grandchildren. Holding onto her home, even when her mother and sister have let it go, illustrates Sloane’s aspirations for carrying on her father’s legacy, both by serving her community and by having the family he envisioned.

Although Lucian owns two homes—his childhood house in Knockemout and his luxurious condo in Washington, DC—Lucian’s house in Knockemout has never felt like a home; his obvious disdain for the place and the traumatic memories it holds is evidenced when he calls it a “godforsaken place, this reminder of a past better forgotten” (21). Significantly, his condo is located far from Knockemout and is also isolated from his friends. Unlike the family home, it is also “ruthlessly clean. As if the rooms had just been sanitized or were only staged to make it look as if someone lived there” (241). However, the condo is no more a home than the house in Knockemout is, for Lucian has amassed no positive memories there, nor has he imbued the condo with aspects of his own personality. Ironically, by trying to avoid his father’s legacy, Lucian unwittingly continues to keep it alive by using it as a standard to avoid at all costs. Thus, he remains haunted by his past and allows it to prevent him from developing a healthy present and a hopeful future.

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