These Precious Days: Essays

Ann describes her three fathers and their impact on her life; a picture of Ann with the three men accompanies this essay, taken on the occasion of her sister Heather’s second wedding.

Ann’s biological father, Frank Patchett, is among the first Patchetts born in the country. After a stint in the Navy, he joins the LAPD, marries, and has two children. When his wife later falls in love with Mike Glasscock and moves the family to Tennessee to be with him, Frank stays behind in Glendale and eventually remarries. Frank is an avid reader; however, he is not the best father for a writer. He doesn’t think writing is a viable profession and continually discourages Ann from it. Ann understood he was trying to save her from the financial difficulties of an unstable career.

Despite their differences, father and daughter love each other deeply: “Contrary to popular belief, love does not need understanding to thrive” (15). Frank’s belief in her failure only makes Ann work harder to succeed. After slow progress through an MFA, fellowships, published articles and stories—all of which Frank reads and helps her research—she eventually becomes “rich” after one of her novels does exceptionally well. This finally changes Frank’s mind, and he begins saying it is a good thing his daughter never listened to him.

Ann’s stepfather, Mike, is the diametrical opposite of Frank: He is thoroughly convinced of Ann’s eventual success as a writer and greatly encourages it. An extremely successful surgeon, he does eccentric things like installing a gas tank next to the carport in the house, hiding gold and food resources around the property, and filling the house with guns that he teaches all his children to shoot.

More than anything, Mike wants to be a writer. He starts writing stories when Ann is 13; beginning then and throughout her life, she reads all his stories and the novels he begins to write when she is in college. She considers them an exchange for Mike's unwavering belief in her. Ann reads them all and tries to help edit them, but the books never improve. From Mike, Ann develops a belief in her eventual success as a writer and the idea that this is the ultimate prize. Additionally, by reading so many bad manuscripts for so many years, she also learns to be a careful writer: “Twenty thousand pages of bad fiction read over the course of a life can teach you what not to do” (23).

Darrell marries Ann’s mother when Ann is 27. He is easy from the outset and cares about her writing the same as he does his other children’s jobs. He gives Ann the gift of seeing and accepting herself as the person she is.

Of the three fathers, Frank dies first while his children are on a plane traveling to say their goodbyes to him. Toward the end of Mike’s life, all his children are able to meet him; Ann even shows him the book she dedicated to him, printed just in time. Darrell passes away last; his end is long and drawn out, with many injuries and suffering.

Ann took specific things from each of her fathers and turned them into stories: “My father gave me strength, Mike gave me adoration, Darrell gave me acceptance” (27). However, these are not the only stories that exist about them. She remembers dancing with her father in their kitchen, Mike taking her to get a piglet for her ninth birthday, and the laughter and community she experienced with Darrell and the huge, blended family they shared.

Ann recollects her first Thanksgiving at college as when her adulthood began. Seventeen years old and alone at college, Ann checks out The Joy of Cooking from the library, makes a list of ingredients, invites some other students who aren’t going home, and makes a Thanksgiving meal from scratch. She reads the recipe book carefully, following its instructions without alteration.

The dinner turns out “brilliant.” While the dishes themselves are nothing spectacular, Ann considers the evening a win because she manages to pull it off, and the others think she is amazing for doing so. The following Thanksgiving, her friend Erica Buchsbaum invites Ann to her parents’ place, and this tradition continues for many years after. The Buchsbaums love Ann because she makes excellent gravy, and they never learn how; Ann never teaches them, as she loves them and wants to be invited back.

Ann and her friend, Marti, travel across Europe in the summer when they are 19. Six weeks in, they reach Paris and eat at a crêpe restaurant one evening. They notice that the waitresses have tattoos and discuss the possibility of getting tattoos themselves. When Ann and Marti return to the restaurant the next evening, they ask one of the waitresses about her tattoo and discover it is a rub-on.

Ann and Marti don’t end up getting tattoos. However, they hitchhike through England and Ireland toward the end of the summer and reach Londonderry, which is effectively a “war zone.” There are checkpoints all over, manned by young boys who carry weapons and are covered in tattoos: “I had seen boys with tattoos before, but none as wrathful as these” (37). Ann and Marti fly home two weeks before the summer ends. Ann reflects on how she and Marti were never able to completely keep each other from making bad decisions, but at least they always weathered them together.

Based on a friend’s example, Patchett gives up shopping for an entire year in 2017. The initial months go well: She discovers supplies stashed around the house when she runs out of something, finds that the desire to buy something vanishes after a few days, and is more appreciative than usual when she receives gifts.

Over the year, Patchett realizes how much abundance she has and is “startled” and “humbled” by it. Thinking of how most religions encourage discarding material possessions, she understands it is easier to see other people’s needs when one stops thinking about one’s wants.

Over time, Patchett finds that the interest in shopping dies out entirely. She reflects on how she still has plenty and recognizes the difference between choosing not to buy something and being unable to. However, refraining from shopping helps illuminate how she can help those who have far less than her.

As part of an anthology of saints, Patchett writes about Charlie Strobel, a priest in Nashville, whom she considers a “living saint.” When she interviews him for her piece, Charlie tells the story of Father Dan Richardson, the priest at the local parish in the neighborhood where Charlie grew up. Shortly before Father Dan died, Charlie recited to him the same homily Father Dan himself would deliver at every church funeral. Charlie reflects on how his life experiences have deeply impacted the person he has become.

Patchett and Charlie visit a motel to meet two previously-homeless men who are finally moving into an apartment. Charlie brings them a hot plate for their new place; the men are glad to see him and humbly receive his advice on staying sober. Patchett remembers the card published at Charlie’s ordination in 1990, which had a Robert F. Kennedy quote about the importance of standing up for ideals and the collective effect that individual actions can have.

Charlie’s work with homeless people begins by offering lodging to people sheltering in the church parking lot. During that time, one man in particular has a deep impact on Charlie. Doy Abbott is a nightmare, and Charlie refers to him as his personal “terrorist.” However, realizing that his job is not to rehabilitate his fellow men but to love them, he changes his approach toward Doy. The two men grow close, and Charlie is at Doy’s side when he dies.

Charlie eventually founds the Room in the Inn and the Campus for Human Development in 1986 as a safe space for those living on the streets. His radical idea is to ensure that people without anything still have a space where they are served with dignity. The mission of the Campus is to provide people with “an opportunity to respond directly to the broken and the disenfranchised among us” (52) and promote ideals of love and community. Patchett recognizes that, with this mission, she is the person the campus is serving; the place allows her to experience the joy found in the work of service Charlie does every day.

Charlie strives for fairness despite the challenges of his life. He lost his father as a young boy and was raised by two elderly great-aunts while his mother worked to support their family. He experienced and learned service from these great-aunts, whom he remembers as “worthless servants”: people who serve so lovingly that they lose themselves to their work, as described in the Bible. Because of this experience growing up, Charlie admits that his faith in God has never wavered, not even in the face of his mother’s sudden and violent death at the hands of an escaped convict. Charlie chooses instead to see it as being in communion with Christ himself, who similarly died a brutal death. Charlie’s mother’s death makes his life’s work more clear.

Ann has hosted multiple fundraising events for Charlie; at these events, she usually addresses the crowd, admitting that though she will never work in the space herself, she will write a check, which is still something. She asks people not to let greatness come in the way of goodness. After these events, people mill around Charlie; in awe, they look to see whether Charlie is made of some “rare and superior material” (57). Ann knows this is not true; it is simply a way for people to let themselves off the hook. After interviewing Charlie, she realizes that the key is to wake up every morning and consciously choose love and service the way Charlie does.

Kurt, the father of Ann’s friend Tavia Catchart, passes away. Ann helps Tavia and her sister, Therese, sort through all his things, which are many in number and variety. Therese reflects on how Kurt made all of it magic, and after his passing, all of it is just stuff. Ann and Tavia promise never to subject someone else to this.

Ann suggests to Karl VanDevender, her husband, that they sort through all their possessions, and he agrees. As they begin clearing through their things, Ann is surprised by the shame and guilt she feels about how much she has accumulated and not used. Karl and Ann lug everything they want to get rid of to their basement, and Karl calls in coworkers and family to pick up what they’d like. Ann feels guilty about passing on the burden of their possessions to other people but soon after feels a lightness at getting rid of so much.

As Ann sorts through her things, she simultaneously receives things from others. Her mother and sister both send Ann boxes of her writing that they find while clearing their respective spaces: “They had sensed a vacuum in (her) house and rushed in to fill it” (73).

One of Ann’s friends and her young daughter visit; the latter spots Ann’s typewriter in her office and is enthralled, having wanted a manual for a long time. Ann has two manuals in her closet, one of her grandmother’s that types in cursive and the second a Hermes 3000 gifted to her by her mother and stepfather when she started college. She had never considered getting rid of either but has not used them since she was 23; she tells her friend to come back the next day, suggesting she will give away one of the manuals.

Ann thinks of the typewriter as a test in her “practice,” as she struggles with the idea of giving one away. Later that night, she tells Karl she has decided to give away the Hermes when he reminds her that she gifted him a manual years ago; she could give that one away instead. Remembering Abraham from the Bible, who is spared sacrificing his son by the miraculous appearance of a ram caught in the brambles, Ann is relieved that she doesn’t have to give hers away after all; the important thing is that she had been ready to.