70 pages • 2 hours read
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Adam explains that his OCD is related to entrances and doorways. He has learned that “it was the power of wanting the in to be different that held him captive on the out” (36). He’s incapable of entering a new room or building until he performs certain rituals, and he fears that if he doesn’t do them correctly, then something bad will happen to his loved ones.
No one has come over to Adam’s house since his dad left. Adam always has to go to his friend Ben’s house across the city. His mom, named Carmella Ross, doesn’t drive anymore, making it more difficult to see his friend. When the phone rings during dinner that night, Carmella answers.
Adam’s stepmother Brenda Ross is calling because his younger half brother Wendell, nicknamed Sweetie, is distressed and wants Adam. After hanging up the phone, Carmella says she doesn’t understand how Adam helps Sweetie so much. Adams asks if maybe he made Sweetie crazy because of the way he is, referring to his OCD and anxiety. Carmella assures him that it isn’t true and they aren’t crazy. She says Adam helps provide a weird “feel better” gift for Sweetie. Brenda comes to pick Adam up, and Adam observes how she is almost the opposite of his mother. Brenda is blonde, pristine, and polite, while Carmella is “dark” and “compelling.”
Sweetie greets him in the car. His nickname came from Carmella, who calls everyone sweetie, but with Sweetie it fit him so well that it stuck. They talk about Adam and Sweetie’s upcoming birthdays, for which they plan to have a celebration at a restaurant. Sweetie reveals that Carmella and Ben Stone will be coming, in addition to Sweetie’s parents. At home, Sweetie doesn’t feel well, and no one really knows what has triggered it. Adams helps by having Sweetie think of pretty, calming numbers. They decide to think about the number 11 because it’s their favorite prime number, then they add another one to make it 111. It makes Sweetie relax into Adam and drift off to sleep.
More of the group members have joined Adam in taking the stairs to the 13th floor. Today they all arrive early. Adam tries to inconspicuously stare at Robyn, then he thinks about what he should talk about. His mom has received more letters, but she rips them up before Adam can tell what they say. It stresses Adam out so much that he spends hours rearranging figurines in his very specific system. Adam knows that the secrecy and lying is causing him to escalate. However, he explains that “[t]he letters were like the inside of the house. Secret. There would be consequences. His mom had laid it out hard a couple of years ago. Talking about the house would be a betrayal. If he betrayed her, they would take her away” (53). Worried that people will judge him, he decides that his counting and other OCD rituals are too weird to share in Group.
As Adam keeps glancing at Robyn, she seems to look everywhere but at him. He feels like something is off. Wonder Woman talks about how she’s still struggling with eating. Green Lantern is convinced that he hurt someone at a school crosswalk and keeps driving back to the spot looking for a body. Adam relates to the compulsion to do something repeatedly; he suggests that Green Lantern try journaling about the revisits and assigning it a numerical value that he can think about.
Now certain that Robyn is avoiding eye contact with him, he worries that she might hate him. When it’s her turn to speak, Robyn reveals that today is the five-year anniversary of the day her mother killed herself. Adam suddenly makes the connection to the gravestone: Jennifer Roehampton May 7, 1971-October 14, 2008. They have a moment of silence out of respect for Robyn’s mother. After Group, Robyn finally looks at Adam and asks if they are still going to walk home together. Adam says yes and suggests getting flowers on the way. He feels that Robyn makes him stronger, and he’s sure that she needs him.
They get flowers to put in front of Robyn’s mom’s grave and a shovel to plant them. As Adam starts digging at the gravesite, Robyn tells him she was the one who found her mom when she died. Since her compulsions emerged after the funeral, Robyn thinks her mom must be the reason for them. Adam nods sympathetically but senses that something is just out of reach of knowing, like with his mom and the letters.
Adam gives Robyn a rosary, telling her it’s not a necklace but something to pray with. She’s thrilled to have something Catholic. She says she should have gotten a present for him since his birthday was last week, then asks how it went at the double birthday dinner. Adam lies and says it was good. His dad tries, but he got both Adam and Sweetie the wrong presents, and his mom got tipsy. Robyn flirts with Adam, saying, “You Ross men seem to like your women complicated” (69). Adam ponders what she means by that, but he realizes she must know that he likes her.
Adam is cooking dinner when Carmella gets home. He thinks he should tell her about Robyn, but the time is never right. She has the mail in her hand; there’s a new letter, and she crumples it and throws it away. Adam tells her not to, but she says it’s trash from someone telling her that she is polluting the world and breathing too much oxygen. Adam must tap and count in sets to stay calm, but he keeps getting lost and has to start over. Carmella tells Adam to not talk about the letters with anyone. When his mom isn’t looking, he retrieves some of the pieces of the torn letter from the trash. Then, his friend Ben Stones and his dad come to pick up Adam so they can hang out. Ben notices Adam counting in the car and says it’s cool, which makes Adam feel a bit better.
Adam’s ancient cell phone vibrates; it’s Sweetie calling at 11:30 p.m. He talks with Sweetie about Robyn, telling him to keep Robyn their secret for now. Sweetie says he’s scared and wants Adam to come over, and that he hears his mom Brenda say, “He really should be here with us, Sebastian. The boy is not safe in that firetrap” (79). Sweetie doesn’t know why he’s scared or what he’s scared of, so Adam presses him; Sweetie finally says he’s scared of waiting for something bad to happen. Adam knows “exactly what his little brother meant. He couldn’t toss off that fear. He knew about the bad thing, about the waiting. Adam had been waiting, preparing, for forever” (81). Adam calms Sweetie down by agreeing to stay on the phone with him until he falls asleep.
In these chapters it is clear that Adam is a great big brother to Sweetie and that he is the one person who truly understands his brother. They both feel triggered by things and aren’t sure why, and it causes them distress. Because Adam has found creative ways to stay calm through his OCD, he is able to help Sweetie feel better in a unique way. Adam also demonstrates empathy toward the other group members; he is able to listen to and support them, giving them advice and encouragement. He is a good friend in addition to being a good brother. Despite his ability to help so many people, Adam still believes he is crazy and yearns to be someone else, someone who fits his perception of normal. Nonetheless, by establishing friendships with other characters and demonstrating a sublter kind of heroism in supporting those who are in distress, Adam is making progress on his journey toward recovery and maturity.
Furthermore, Adam and Robyn both find comfort in their friendship with one another. They make each other happy, but the peace Adam finds with Robyn is cut short by the latest letter sent to Carmella. Adam’s house is becoming increasingly stressful and overwhelming, but he can’t be honest with his mom about it. This is apparent in Chapter 10, when he must tap and count after Carmella tears up the letter.
Adam’s counting and threshold issues are getting worse and preventing him from healing. Sweetie is aware that something is wrong, evidenced in his fear and need for Adam’s presence; even Brenda Ross knows that something is not right, that Adam is “not safe in that firetrap” (79). Like Adam’s rising anxiety, these details stoke the novel’s sense of tension and foreboding. Adam is being confronted with the reality that his home and his mother might not be the healthiest or safest thing for him at the moment. He recognizes that the letters are toxic, but he fails to see how much his mom, their lies, and the continued secrecy are damaging him.