The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires

When Patricia returns home from book club that night, she is dismayed that Blue has forgotten to take out the trash. When she takes it out herself, she is stunned to find an old woman drinking blood from a “nearly severed” raccoon head (51). Patricia realizes that the woman is Mrs. Savage, her usually uptight neighbor who typically “patrolled the Old Village in the midday heat wearing a floppy canvas hat” (53). Before Patricia can react, Mrs. Savage ferociously attacks her. In the struggle, Mrs. Savage bites Patricia’s earlobe off.

Carter arrives on the scene and gets Mrs. Savage off Patricia, but not before Mrs. Savage gnashes her teeth into Patricia’s skull. Patricia is wounded, but she will recover. She is devastated to have lost one of the earrings Carter bought for her birthday, but Carter assures that it was only costume jewelry—not expensive or carefully selected, as Patricia first assumed. To Patricia, this makes the entire situation worse.

At home, Patricia reassures Blue that Miss Mary would never do what Mrs. Savage did to them. Still, Patricia no longer feels safe in her neighborhood after being “attacked by a neighbor in her own yard” (59). We see even more clearly than before how important a safe neighborhood is to the Campbell family.

Carter takes his boss to lunch to try to get promoted to Chief of Psychiatry. He is unable to find a good work/life balance and must choose between spending time with his family and making more money.

When Miss Mary claims an owl bit her, Patricia shrugs it off, like most of what Miss Mary says. Before the onset of her dementia, Miss Mary was smart, kind, and capable but still had her quirks. For instance, Miss Mary “refused to let anyone eat from the peach tree in her backyard” (59), though Patricia never knew why.

Patricia’s neighbors call to check on her after Mrs. Savage passes away. Apparently doctors found strange marks on Mrs. Savage’s inner thigh, ostensibly a sign that she was using drugs. Mrs. Savage’s great nephew moves into her house from up North. Patricia, despite having been the victim in the attack, wants to bring Mrs. Savage’s nephew food as condolences for his loss.

Patricia brings a taco casserole to Mrs. Savage’s nephew. As she leaves, Miss Mary cryptically says that Hoyt Pickens is back and Patricia sees a rat run by, which is out of the ordinary for their home.

At Mrs. Savage’s, Patricia lets herself in when no one answers. Inside, she finds what she thinks is a dead man on the bed. James Harris looks starved, the “sallow skin of his face look[s] drawn and finely wrinkled” (66), and he shows no signs of breathing. Thinking quickly and using her nursing skills, Patricia administers CPR. The nephew gasps for air and quickly ushers the mortified Patricia out of the house. On her way out, Patricia makes eye contact with Francine, the elderly woman cleaner who worked for Mrs. Savage. Patricia is suddenly fearful that Francine will gossip about this embarrassing incident.

Patricia does her best to forget mistaking a live man for a dead one. At dinner, Miss Mary declares that she has a photograph. Before anyone can try to figure out what that means, a large cockroach drops from the ceiling into Miss Mary’s cup.

The doorbell rings—it is Mrs. Savage’s nephew, who introduces himself as James Harris, bringing back the casserole dish. He looks so much better than he did when Patricia performed CPR on him that it’s hard to “believe this [is] the same man” since his “skin look[s] soft and unlined” (73). Patricia, after gathering herself, formally invites him in for dessert. 

As soon as Miss Mary sees James, she mentions the photograph again, but everyone ignores her. The conversation turns to Patricia’s book club. James Harris shows an interest, while Korey scoffs, claiming they’re just a bunch of old women who drink wine.

Suddenly Miss Mary angrily accuses James of being a man named Hoyt Pickens in an “ice cream suit” who owes her father money (79). Patricia practically wrestles Miss Mary into her bedroom as James leaves. Patricia feels that she wants, or rather, needs to see him again.

Patricia meets James on his front porch, but the tall and handsome man quickly ushers her inside, stating he “can’t be in the sun” (81)—a wolf bit him as a kid and the bite left him with brain damage, making it difficult for his pupils to dilate. 

James looks a bit frail, and the house is a mess. James has no family to assist him in cleaning Mrs. Savage’s things, plus he claims that Francine quit, which seems out of character for Francine, but Patricia shrugs it off. Patricia insists on helping; she is longing for excitement and to feel needed. James asks Patricia to drive his van, which has tinted window for his eyes, to get his electric and water bills set up.

While they are out, Patricia she pays two deposits for James because he claims his wallet was stolen. She feels guilty for spending the money, but justifies her actions by reminding herself that she has a claim to Carter’s income: “it’s her money too right?” (86). James pays her back immediately in cash. Next, Patricia takes him to open a bank account, asking her friend, banker Doug Mackey, if James can do it without ID, which Doug allows them to do with Patricia as co-signer. Back at the house, James shows Patricia a blue gym bag full of $85,000 cash. James is so grateful for Patricia’s kindness that she invites him to book club.