The Many Lives of Mama Love: A Memoir of Lying, Stealing, Writing, and Healing

DJ is Hardin’s second husband and a secondary protagonist through much of the narrative. A former mortgage broker, he met Hardin in a recovery program after her first attempt at sobriety in 2002. He is the father of Hardin’s youngest son, Kaden, and has two daughters from a previous marriage who do not appear in the narrative.

DJ is a dynamic and complex character. He has anger issues and is often portrayed as yelling, grumbling, or cursing at the world that he feels keeps him down. Once his life is consumed by addiction, he begins replicating the language patterns and dress of the people he encounters and befriends in prison. Hardin claims that DJ draws gang signs on his correspondence and begins to call her “homegirl” from behind bars. He morphs into something of a cliché in prison, and their divorce is little more than a footnote after she finds him using drugs in their family bathroom.

Hardin and DJ have a troubled relationship. She has cheated on DJ, which he knows, and she no longer loves him, which he doesn’t know. Hardin relies on her mother-in-law for financial support during her probation and recovery, as her own mother is unavailable. Hardin and DJ enable each other’s drug habits for the first half of the memoir until Hardin gains the courage to leave him permanently. DJ is not painted as the antagonist; Hardin’s addiction is the antagonist. Even when Hardin and DJ are no longer together, they co-parent Kaden as part of their blended families.

Carol is the wealthy mother of DJ Jackson. She bails Hardin and Jackson out of jail, sets them up when they are released from prison a year later, and helps them along financially and with room and board until they are on their feet again. Carol does not ask for anything in return, though she has concerns about their relapse. Both Hardin and DJ betray her kindness and return to drug use while in her home.

Despite the large role Carol plays in rescuing Hardin, Carol does not have any lines in the memoir. She is characterized and summarized but remains voiceless herself. Hardin claims that Carol blames her for corrupting DJ, but Carol does not voice this opinion herself.

Bryan was Hardin’s first husband and is the father of Hardin’s older sons, Dylan, Cody, and Ty. Their relationship began as a “one-night stand” during which Hardin conceived her oldest son (51). Though they married and had two more children together, Bryan cheated on Hardin repeatedly.

Throughout the narrative, Bryan shows up for Hardin with the boys, is never judgmental or cruel, and never does or says anything to make Hardin feel bad about her situation. Bryan is a static character and has very little emotion or characterization on the page. Bryan also cheats on his second wife, Darcy, repeatedly, and Hardin and Darcy bond over this experience. Bryan remains part of Hardin’s life as the co-parent of her three oldest sons.

Darcy is Bryan’s second wife, and she becomes the stepmother of Hardin’s three sons. When Hardin is arrested, it is Darcy and Bryan who take in Kaden, raising all four sons until Hardin is out on probation.

Hardin and Darcy do not like each other, and Hardin accuses Darcy of sabotaging her reentry to society. When an anonymous call claims that Hardin has violated her parole by driving to Kaden’s daycare, Hardin knows it is her. This is not confirmed by Darcy or anyone else, but Hardin feels that Darcy hates her because Darcy is infertile and Hardin has four sons.

Hardin’s portrayal of Darcy is one-sided, without a true moment of reconciliation after Hardin’s release from prison. She does not express gratitude to Darcy for helping to raise her sons, especially Kaden, who would have otherwise been in foster care. The women do bond over Bryan’s infidelity, and Darcy eventually leaves him, returning to Boston.