The Life We Bury

“I never met my father and had no idea if he still stained the Earth. I knew his name though. My mom came up with the brilliant idea of naming me after him in the hope that it might guilt Joe Talbert Senior into staying around awhile, maybe marrying her and supporting her and little Joey Jr. It didn’t work out. She tried the same thing when my younger brother, Jeremy, was born—to the same end. I grew up having to explain that my mother’s name was Kathy Nelson, my name was Joe Talbert, and my brother’s name was Jeremy Naylor.”

This quote speaks to the thematic question of what makes a family. Joe doesn’t share a name with his mother or brother, so it’s not a name. The only person Joe shares a name with is his father, who he’s never met and despises as a “stain” on the Earth. The quote thus affirms the fact that relying on biology to define family is unwise (also seen in Douglas’ blind loyalty to a psychopathic son who kills him).

“That man is a monster.” 

Mary refers to Carl as a monster when she is speaking to Joe. Joe later refers to Carl as a monster. In fact, Carl is not the monster they make him out to be—emphasizing the thematic argument that the truth is complex. People rarely are what they first seem. 

“It was easy to lie to Jeremy, his trusting temperament being incapable of understanding deceit. I didn't lie to him to be mean. It was just my way of explaining things to him without the complexity or nuance that came with the truth.” 

In these lines, Joe recognizes that the truth is rarely straightforward. This is evidenced repeatedly throughout the narrative, such as in Virgil and Carl’s differing interpretations of the day Carl saved Virgil’s life. Jeremy’s inability to understand deceit or engage in it makes him the most straightforward of all the novel’s characters. 

“Are you talking about killing or murdering?” 

In his insistence that there is a difference between killing and murdering, Carl attempts to teach Joe about the nuances of the truth. To some people, taking a human life is all the same. To others, the context—such as war—makes a difference. To Carl, the differentiator is whether the act leaves a person “hoping that the sun rises [or] hoping it doesn't.” 

“I have to say the words out loud. I have to tell someone the truth about what happened all those years ago. I have to tell someone the truth about what I did.” 

Carl says this after agreeing to talk to Joe for his project and defining the conversations to ensue as his “dying declaration.” The concept is a term of law that implies truth because theoretically no one would want to die with a lie on their lips. This quote foreshadows a confession. Joe and the reader alike expect this will be a confession of Crystal’s murder when in fact it will be a confession of Gibbs’ murder.

“I needed a scapegoat, someone I could point at and say, ‘You’re responsible for this, not me.’ I needed to feed my delusion that I was not my brother’s keeper, that such a duty fell to our mother.” 

Joe summarizes his relationship with Kathy and reveals why he hasn’t yet cut her out of his life. He relies on her to care for Jeremy. These words show his guilt and his awareness that he leaves Jeremy in incapable hands to further his own agenda.

“As Carl told his stories, I found myself breaking them apart into bits of information, spreading them around like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle on the table. Then I tried to reassemble the pieces in a way that would explain the birth and life of a monster. What was it in his childhood, in his adolescence, that planted the seed that would one day come to define him as Carl the murderer? There had to be a secret. Something had to have happened to Carl Iverson to make him different from the human race, different from me.” 

These words reflect the need for people to differentiate themselves from the “monsters” of the world. The fact that monsters like Daniel and Gibbs walk among us is horrifying. The thought that we might become such monsters is doubly horrifying. This quote also presents the recurring symbol of the puzzle. 

“On the one side, Carl was a man kneeling in the jungle, taking bullets for his friend. On the other side was a sick bastard capable of extinguishing the life of a young girl in order to satiate his deviant sexual desires.” 

This quote marks a turning point for Joe, his initial inkling of realization that Carl isn’t all bad. He hasn’t fully learned his lesson regarding the complexity of human nature, however, as he still differentiates a good/bad turning point in Carl’s life. The fact is that Carl did something bad to a bad man. Joe still sees human nature as good/bad in black/white terms, ignoring the grey areas.

“And you're his brother but that doesn’t stop you from running off? Does it? Big college boy.” 

Kathy spits these words at Joe, exacerbating his guilt about leaving Jeremy and manipulating him into paying her bail. This quote shows her manipulative side and highlights class issues, as she seems to deride Joe’s desire to study. 

“If they find out, it’ll destroy me. They will send me to Catholic school. Goodbye cheerleading, goodbye life.”

Written in italics to differentiate it from the rest of the narrative, this text is from Crystal’s diary. Eskens uses an epistolary technique to give the dead girl a voice. This allows the reader to connect intimately with a character who is otherwise a ghost.

“It was as though we both saw the crack in the dam take shape, but we didn’t understand its ramifications. It would not be long before the crack gaped open, releasing its torrent.” 

This ominous quote foreshadows the dark and dangerous events ahead. Joe and Lila have begun to suspect Carl is innocent. Unleashing the truth and digging up the buried life of a man like Daniel will have repercussions. The use of imagery relating to a flood of water calls to mind biblical imagery of the great flood. 

“My upbringing forbade suicide. It was one of those sins that could never be forgiven. The priest said that if you killed yourself you went straight to hell.” 

Carl is referring to his Catholic upbringing. Religion appears repeatedly throughout the book. The narrative warns against dogmatic belief in any one truth, however, including religion. Catholicism is not powerful enough to take away Carl’s desire for death, while Douglas’ literal interpretation of the Bible is used for the abuse of others.

“I listened to Carl Iverson go back in his memory—back to Vietnam. When he had finished, I stood, shook his hand, and thanked him. Then I went home and wrote that part of Carl Iverson’s story that marked the turning point of his life.” 

This quote describes Joe’s learning about Sergeant Gibbs raping the Vietnamese girl and attempting to force Carl to do the same. The use of the word "turning point" indicates a turning point in Carl’s life as well as in the narrative. From this point on, Joe is driven to prove Carl’s innocence. 

“Laura, I tried to leave you behind me, but I am more faithful than I intended to be." 

This is a line from Tennessee Williams' The Glass Menagerie. The play deals with a chaotic family, consisting of a mentally fragile sister, a brother, and a histrionic mother. This line sums up Joe’s feelings about his own family, in particular Jeremy. Theoretically, he wants to leave behind his past—Spam Town, Kathy, and Jeremy. However, his love for his brother is unshakeable. Although his loyalty to Jeremy complicates his life, even impeding his ability to finish school, he can’t leave Jeremy behind. 

“‘I had no right to take Gibbs’s life,’ Carl said. ‘He had a wife and two kids back in the states, and I murdered him. I killed a great many men in Vietnam…a great many, but they were soldiers. They were the enemy. I was doing my job.’” 

Carl says these words to Joe after confessing to Gibbs’ murder. His words speak to one of the large philosophical questions the book explores—when, if ever, one human being should take the life of another human being. In Carl’s view, it’s permissible for one soldier to kill another because that is a soldier’s duty. A pacifist would disagree with him, however. This moral question is also touched on with references to the death penalty.

“No matter how hard you try, there are some things you just can’t run away from.” 

With these words, Carl warns Joe of the dangers of trying to escape the past—or “the life we bury.” Many characters in the novel have tried to bury pasts—Andy, Daniel, Douglas, Joe, Lila—and their past always catches up with them.

“This is our heaven. We are surrounded every day by the wonders of life, wonders beyond comprehension that we simply take for granted. I decided that I would live my life—not simply exist.” 

With these words, Carl identifies the need to live life fully, which means not burying any part of it. Dredging up the past can be difficult, but suppressing it means a person isn’t living authentically. This speaks to the impact of trauma. 

“I had let this old man—this whiskey-soaked child molester—beat me.” 

Joe is a strong young man who prides himself on his physical strength as a bouncer and his emotional resilience, seen in his ability to escape Spam Town and a fractured home life. These words highlight Joe's shame as Douglas beats him. 

“If he thought like me, he’d be in those woods, holed up like a hunter—rifle in hand—waiting for me to walk in front of the crosshairs.” 

Joe is speaking about Douglas. His use of a simile to compare Douglas to a hunter and himself to an animal-like piece of prey reiterates the thematic violence seen throughout the narrative.

“Clearing his name mattered more to him than he had allowed anyone to see, maybe even more than he himself understood.” 

Although Carl has always known he didn’t kill Crystal, he is relieved to have his name cleared. These words reflect that what matters is a person’s own truth and the truth of how others perceive them. 

“She liked to be called Dani, thought it made her sound like a tomboy. And since there couldn’t be two Dannys in the family, she made everyone call her Dani and call him Danny Junior. After awhile they just called him DJ.” 

This marks a pivotal moment, as Daniel’s wife reveals DJ's identity. With this plot twist, Eskens recommends not taking the “truth” at face value.

“What would you do to avoid dying in prison?” 

Lila poses this rhetorical question when Joe expresses incredulity at the prospect that Daniel killed his own father. It speaks to the human desire for freedom and briefly highlights how terrible Carl’s incarceration was, although he rarely complains about it. 

“I turned, looked at my mother one last time, and then walked out the door.” 

This is a defining turning point in Joe’s life, as he plans to never see Kathy again. He can presumably accomplish this because he has unburdened himself of the “buried” story of Grandpa Bill’s death, having shared it with Carl.