The Dragons, the Giant, the Women: A Memoir

Wayetu is late for a date when her friend, Deda, calls. Deda has sent her an article that lists all the ways in which Black women are undesirable and “the most likely to be swiped left” (135).

Wayetu heads to a dive bar to meet up with Johnny Boy, a guy she met on the street. He asks what she’s reading, and she mentions the essay on why it’s so hard “for Black women to find husbands” (135). Johnny Boy talks about how “annoying” it is that “everything is about race now” (136). He tells Wayetu that he’s dated Black women in the past and that he doesn’t see color.

Shortly thereafter, Wayetu’s friend, Nika, emails her and asks if she’s read the article about the rise of interracial relationships between white men and Black women. She also sends the link to the article, just in case.

Wayetu notices how people stare when she and Johnny Boy walk hand-in-hand in Brooklyn. She shows him the article that Nika sent. He laughs and mentions that Wayetu and her friends talk a lot about race. Johnny Boy avoids conversations about race. Instead, they laugh a lot together. They visit the botanical gardens, where he compares her to various flowers. They listen to music, go dancing, eat out with friends, speak to her parents on speakerphone, and grocery shop. Once, they go to a Liberian restaurant that he found in Queens.

It is 2013 or 2014. He feels anger in response to stories of police brutality and comforts Wayetu. He listens when she relates racist incidents “at the office or on the street” (137) and marches with her in protests in Brooklyn. He asks her to let him love her despite her immense concern with those who have been killed and those likely to be killed. Then, her friend Ashleigh calls, crying. She’s exhausted, like Wayetu, by the stories of George Zimmerman being free, Eric Garner having been choked to death, and Michael Brown shot to death six times. Wayetu suggests that they march some more, call representatives in Congress, and write think pieces. However, none of these ideas make her feel better or reduce her sense of invisibility.

Wayetu takes her braids out that night. She wants to run her fingers through her coily hair. She hears the front door open, and Johnny Boy shouts hello. She yells back that she’s washing her hair. He enters and notes that her “’fro is out again” (138). He then asks if washing her hair takes forever. Wayetu doesn’t answer. He surmises that they won’t be going out to dinner and then asks if she wishes that she had hair like his. A chill runs through her, and she demands that he repeat his question. Realizing his grave error, he dismisses his remark as a bad joke. Wayetu knows that he’s said something irreversible but chooses not to leave him.

Spring arrives. Wayetu thinks of the day in Texas when the Moores moved into their first house in the US. Mam is packing old silverware and new china sets into a cupboard. She sometimes talks about Caldwell and what it must look like now. To remind them of home, Mam and Wi plant a palm tree outside their home, similar to the palm trees in Caldwell. Ten years have passed since they moved to the US, and the family now owns their own home. Wayetu wants to leave, despite the house’s spaciousness and beauty. The community’s quietness doesn’t match the dissonance within her.

When they have friends visit, Mam cooks spaghetti and meatloaf instead of cassava leaf and palaver sauce. Mam plays Nimba Burr, Fela and Fema Kuti, and Miatta Fahnbulleh on the stereo but relents when her children ask to turn on music that their friends will know.

One day, during an open house at Wayetu’s high school, Mam wears “a lappa suit with colors that nearly [part] the sea of white faces in the hallway as [they walk]” (140). Wayetu feels nervous, observing her friends and their parents looking at Mam as though she comes from another planet. They, on the other hand, are all dressed alike. The men are in khaki Dickies, while the women wear dress slacks. Most of the women have stringy blond hair.

Mam raises her hand to ask a question. Due to her accent, she must repeat herself. On the drive home, Wayetu is silent. Mam pulls into the driveway and asks her what’s wrong. Wayetu tries to avoid the conversation, but then asks her mother why she couldn’t have asked Wayetu the question instead of asking it directly and repeating herself. Mam is surprised. After all, she’s a teacher, and her students have no problem understanding her. She then realizes that Wayetu is ashamed of being African, though Wayetu denies it. Mam reminds her that to be ashamed of her is to be ashamed of herself and that the ideas people in the West have about Africa have nothing to do with the truth. Wayetu gets out of the car and slams the door.

In the house, Mam and Gus watch a BBC report on Liberia on television. Gus announces that fighting might resume. On the screen is a shot of civilians running with their belongings and children in tow. Wayetu thinks of how much they look like her and her family. The reporter says that people have started “to evacuate after a bomb went off in Monrovia” (143). The Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) and the United Nations intervened to negotiate with Taylor “and his rebel opposition” (143).

Gus notices that Mam is crying. He puts an arm around her. Wayetu goes to her room. That night, she has another nightmare. She goes to her parents’ room and lies at the foot of their bed. Mam gets up, finds her a pillow and blanket, and cradles Wayetu back to sleep. 

Wayetu meets up with her friend Tina, who excitedly hugs her and announces that she just found out, through DNA testing, that her ancestors are from Ghana. Tina has visited Ghana before and plans to go back at the end of the year with her cousin. The news underwhelms Wayetu, which upsets Tina, who calls her later and expresses disappointment in Wayetu’s lack of support. She explains that, as an African American, it’s very important for her to have a sense of home on the African continent, as that was taken away from the descendants of slaves. Wayetu apologizes for being unenthused and says that she is happy for her friend and sorry “[f]or that history and those ships” (146).

Tina isn’t the first of Wayetu’s Black friends to search for their roots through DNA testing. She often gets calls now from friends reporting their results or reporting that they’re dating someone African, usually a Nigerian guy. She notices, too, how African boys who are the children of immigrants like her now revel in how cool it suddenly is to be African after years of being teased for it in school.

On her call with Tina, her friend mentions to Wayetu that she must be “pretty Americanized anyway,” considering how little Wayetu talks about Liberia (146). This comment bothers Wayetu, but she ignores it. Truthfully, she thinks about Liberia all the time. She knows that Tina’s journey to Ghana will deliver some peace but probably not the kind her friend needs. Tina, she thinks, probably wants “Kwame Nkrumah’s Africa and William Tolbert’s Africa and Thomas Sankara’s Africa and Félix Houphouët-Boigny’s” (146). She, too, dreams that their postcolonial visions of West Africa will come to life again. However, those like her, who were forced into new countries, also shoulder the knowledge that dragons destroyed those dreams.

After Wayetu breaks up with Johnny Boy, she has dreams of Satta and the palm oil jug again. On the eve of their break-up, he said that Wayetu was “black, but not in the same way” and wondered why she took “all of this race stuff so seriously” (146). A Black woman friend once told her that many African American women feel the same when they’re asked if they’re mixed or praised for having a thin nose or light eye color.

One day, Gus calls and asks if Wayetu is well. She tells him that she just got a black Labrador. He then mentions that he’s heard she’s working on her book again. She says that she’s doing her best but that writing is hard. Mam gets on the phone and asks about Johnny Boy. Wayetu mentions their break-up. She also assures her mother that this isn’t as hard as the last one. She then announces that she wants to go back to Liberia. She tells Mam that she’s dreaming about Satta again. Mam tells her to come home.