The City and Its Uncertain Walls

One night, the protagonist dreams that he works in a library. It is a normal library, and he enjoys the work, feeling that he is moving in the right direction. In the dream, on a table, is a blue beret. Before he can put it on, the protagonist wakes from the dream and realizes his next step is to work in a library.

The protagonist remembers details from the dream and begins searching for a small, likely rural library in a mountainous region. Having worked for a book distribution company, the protagonist calls a former coworker, Oki, with library connections. Oki agrees to try to find a library that will hire him. Days later, the protagonist and Oki meet. Oki finds four libraries matching the protagonist’s description. A privately owned library near Fukushima, in a mountainous town called Z**, seems perfect. Oki sets up an interview.

After five hours on a train, the protagonist arrives in Z**. Before the interview, the protagonist goes to a park, where he remembers his girlfriend. He reflects on how his life froze after she disappeared when he was 17, everything after just filler until their hopeful reunion. At the library, the protagonist meets Mr. Koyasu, the recently retired director. Though the protagonist cannot place it, he recognizes Mr. Koyasu’s voice. During the interview, the protagonist notices the blue beret from his dream on Mr. Koyasu’s desk. Mr. Koyasu offers the protagonist the job as director, saying he will help guide him as he learns the job. As they leave, the protagonist compliments Mr. Koyasu’s beret and notices that he wears a skirt.

The protagonist sells or donates most of his belongings, wanting a fresh start in Z**. He moves there in August, into a small house with a garden. It is a 15-minute walk to work, partly along the river, and he enjoys the freedom this new life and job bring. It reminds him of the freedom he felt when he first walked into the walled-in city, with no belongings or shadows. He quickly learns the responsibilities of the job from Mr. Koyasu, and Mrs. Soeda, another librarian who essentially runs the library on her own.

Mr. Koyasu visits the protagonist in his office frequently. This is the only place, the protagonist realizes, that he sees Mr. Koyasu. Mr. Koyasu wears a skirt every day, explaining that, “One reason is that when I wear a skirt, I, ah, feel like I’ve become a few lines from a beautiful poem” (161). Every time he visits, they drink Mr. Koyasu’s special tea.

Every morning and evening, the protagonist walks the path along the river. As he does, he feels overwhelmed by the sadness deep inside him, and time seems to stand still. The sadness won’t dissipate, and though he tries to release it with tears, none come.

The protagonist realizes he knows nothing about Mr. Koyasu, and though he tries to learn information from Mrs. Soeda, she tells him little. During their chats, she asks the protagonist why he is unmarried in his forties. He tells her his heart already belongs to someone.

As the protagonist settles into his role, Mr. Koyasu proves helpful and assures the protagonist that he can ask any questions whenever Mr. Koyasu stops by the office. The protagonist begins going through the library’s records to see what books are checked out. The library does not use an electronic system, slowing the process, and everyone is against the protagonist implementing one. Mrs. Soeda gives the protagonist a tour of the building, which used to be a sake brewery. Some parts of the building are not used by the library, and she explains that Mr. Koyasu owned the land and building before, donating them to start the library. Soon, summer ends, and after a short fall, winter arrives.

The cold of winter brings memories from the walled-in town back to the protagonist. He finds that his memories of the place are very inconsistent. At the library, Mr. Koyasu comes to visit and complains that the office is cold. He tells the protagonist that he used a different office in the winter. He brings the protagonist to a room partly underground. The protagonist is shocked to see the same woodstove from the library in the walled-in town there. He decides not to use the room until it is colder, and for the rest of the day, the protagonist can think only about the stove.

The weather grows colder, and the protagonist decides to move to the subterranean office. When he is in this office with the woodstove burning, the protagonist is completely isolated from the outside and cannot help but be brought back to the walled-in town. The kettle on the stove and the smell of burning applewood evoke strong memories of the place. Mr. Koyasu comes to visit after a few days, and as they speak, the protagonist notices that Mr. Koyasu is wearing tennis shoes, inappropriate for the weather. He also realizes that Mr. Koyasu’s watch has no hands, just like the clock in the walled-in town. Later, after Mr. Koyasu leaves the office, the protagonist asks Mrs. Soeda if she saw Mr. Koyasu leave the library. She says she did not see him at all. The protagonist finds this strange, as she sees everyone come in and out from her desk.

One night, Mr. Koyasu calls the protagonist after 10:00 pm and asks to meet at the library. Despite the time, the protagonist finds his way in the dark to the library and his cozy basement office. There, Mr. Koyasu makes him tea and thanks him for coming, saying he needs to explain something. Mr. Koyasu reveals that he does not have a shadow. The protagonist notices this and asks when he was separated from his shadow. Mr. Koyasu responds that it was a year ago, and that it happened when he died.

Mr. Koyasu explains to the protagonist that while he is dead, and his body gone, his consciousness lives on. He died a year before the protagonist arrived at the library, from a heart attack on a hike. As he died, his life did not flash before him, but instead he saw himself in a quickly flooding boat, with only a small bucket to bail water. A month after his death, he regained consciousness, though without a body. He can appear in a physical form for limited times, and only the protagonist and Mrs. Soeda can see him. For a year, Mrs. Soeda ran the library with his help. When the protagonist interviewed, however, Mr. Koyasu saw that he is a man who can understand a person with a consciousness and no body.

Mr. Koyasu tells the protagonist that he knows the protagonist once lost his shadow. He explains that, as a ghost, he can see and understand things the living cannot. The protagonist mentions briefly that it happened in the walled-in town. Mr. Koyasu declares that his time is nearly up and that he will have to disappear, though they should meet again soon. Before he goes, Mr. Koyasu asks if the protagonist reads the Bible. Though not religious, Mr. Koyasu reads it, and has a favorite quote: “People are like a breath; their days are like fleeting shadow” (208). He explains that he did not understand this until he died.