The Art of Seduction: An Indispensible Primer on the Ultimate Form of Power

The perfect person to seduce is someone who will eventually give in, so the seducer must look for a need they can fulfill. In the novel Dangerous Liaisons, the Vicomte de Valmont seduces the Présidente de Tourvel, who is innocent, bored and seeking excitement, but thinks she cannot be seduced—making her a “perfect victim.” Greene contends that Valmont is drawn in by de Tourvel’s appearance and demeanor, and in a way, she seduces him. He explains that choosing someone to seduce is not about their physical appearance or interests but a person “who stirs you in a way that cannot be explained in words…He or she often has a quality you yourself lack, and may even secretly envy” (171).

He warns that seducers should avoid uninterested people who cannot be seduced. Finding the right “prey” improves the experience for the seducer. Seducers assess body language, unconscious responses, or how they feel around that person. Seducers should avoid the first person who wants them, instead seeking people outside their usual types because they are more challenging. Some people are better-suited, such as happy, busy, repressed, unimaginative, or shy people, overly aggressive men, people who want something a seducer has that they themselves lack, or, in the case of politicians, a public lacking something. Seducer politicians include Jiang Qing, Shi Pei Pu, Yang Kuei-fei, Napoleon, and Kennedy.

This technique focuses on avoiding directness by creating surprise encounters and a false sense of security in the possible interest. In 17th-century France, Anne Marie Louis d’Orléans met the Marquis Antonin Péguilin several times by chance. They were soon engaged, demonstrating friendship as an indirect route to seduction by allowing a seducer to learn a person’s interests, weaknesses, and desires. Friendship also relaxes an interest.

This technique requires making the romantic interest feel in control, showing interest and then pulling back, making them feel calm rather than suspicious, avoiding talking about love, becoming friends with their friends, concealing one’s feelings, and concealing one’s desires. Those using this technique include Casanova, d’Aragona, Johannes from The Seducer’s Diary, Ellington, Henry Kissinger, Count de Grammont, Ninon de l’Enclos, and Lenin. A reversal is making a direct play, which increases the number of people seduced, but decreases their quality.

This technique emphasizes qualities that use mixed signals to create a mysteriousness that demonstrates a seducer’s complexity. When Auguste met Madame Récamier, he noticed that she was both sweet and sad, elevated and coquettish. He proposed marriage, and Greene argues that her appeal was her complexity: an innocent face and wild side.

Seducers can create mystery by showing opposite sides of their personality. Wilde visited New York for a lecture tour in 1881 and charmed New Yorkers, who found him hypnotic and humorous, yet fancily dressed, strange-looking, and feminine. His contradictory appearance and language were seductive.

Key elements include sending mixed signals from the outset and exhibiting qualities that contradict one’s appearance. Seducers can also manipulate gender roles by adding masculinity to their femininity or vice versa, or they can combine physical beauty with emotional distance, like Dietrich. These elements can also be applied in political and social settings. Socrates, Flynn, Brummel, Warhol, Lord Byron, Johannes from The Seducer’s Diary, Mahatma Gandhi, and Kennedy used this technique. A reversal of this technique is offering simplicity to those who are impatient with mixed signals.

This technique focuses on creating a sense of rivalry—a feeling that the seducer is desired by others. In the 1880s, Prussian philosopher Paul Rée befriended Lou von Salomé, and she suggested that he invite his friend Friedrich Nietzsche to travel and live with them, and Nietzsche fell for her. Rée became jealous. Later, she created a triangle between herself, Freud, and his student Victor Tausk, causing jealousy in Freud.

Desirability is an “illusion” unrelated to the seducer’s actions or words. Desire comes from liking what other people like and wanting what other people have. This is illustrated by Pauline Bonaparte, Warhol, Duke de Richelieu, Flynn, and Duc de Lauzun. In addition to using a love triangle, seducers can save their prospective interest from associating with boring or unattractive people by being more interesting. The Seducer’s Diary depicts Johannes using Edward’s boring quality to woo Cordelia. Political leaders like Catherine the Great, Lenin, and Ronald Reagan created desire by emphasizing the traits absent in their opponents.

Greene suggests that seducers create a need or insecurity that they then sate, offering a story from D. H. Lawrence’s Sons and Lovers. Lawrence seduces his friend Jessie Chambers by pointing out her flaws as a future wife. They become distant, and he proposes to her but continues to criticize her; they break up, repeating this pattern several times. Lawrence used friendship to begin his seductions, then sowed insecurity. He would treat them well again, and because he had created insecurity, they took him back.

This technique capitalizes on people’s insecurities, which the seducer must identify and fix, creating a feeling that a person’s life is dull and then providing excitement. A seducer must identify their past goals and help them fulfill them. Companies and politicians can do this by creating a sense of dissatisfaction and providing the solution. Eros, Cleopatra, Don Juan, Robert Devereux, and Kennedy embody this technique. A reversal of this technique is using charm to improve a person’s self-esteem, then showing them their shortcomings.

Greene emphasizes subtle insinuation to trigger ideas in a person’s mind. He summarizes the short story “No Tomorrow” by Vivant Denon, wherein a woman seduces a young man by insinuating that his lover is cheating on him. She also creates the illusion that he is the one seducing her by accidentally touching him, thereby creating desire.

Seducers should use subtle physical contact, subtle comments, or a quick flirtatious glance. Count Saint-Germain, Napoleon, Kennedy, Récamier, and Lord Byron embody this technique. A reversal of this technique is directness.

This technique focuses on reflecting a person’s interests or moods. It creates an open mind that the seducer’s moods can fill. In the 1960s, President Sukarno of Indonesia asked journalist Cindy Adams to cowrite his autobiography. When she visited Indonesia, he was friendly, reflecting her moods and style and even dyeing his hair the same color as hers. She then wrote an autobiography that made him seem likable, as opposed to a leader with strict foreign policy. Greene explains that enjoy seeing themselves mirrored in others.

Greene contends that the best seducers understand the opposite sex and reflect their traits, even adopting their characteristics. De l’Enclos, Pao You in the novel The Dream of the Red Chamber, Lovelace in the novel Clarissa, Saltykov, Chateaubriand, Disraeli, and Baker embody this technique.

This technique should only be used briefly because the love interest might think that the seducer lacks their own identity. Seducers should eventually reverse the technique and emphasize their own identity.

Seducers can create temptation by implying that they can fulfill a person’s fantasy. In Jacinto Octavio Picón’s novel Dulce y Sabrosa, Don Juan is seduced by a former lover, Cristeta Moreruela, who creates a ruse that she is married and has a child, appealing to his desire for married women.

Temptation requires being provocative, seeming unavailable, and spurring an interest’s desire for escape. Greene contends that “what people want is not temptation [but] to give into temptation, to yield” (234). Weaknesses often stem from childhood insecurities, later reappearing in relationships. Accessing a social taboo also works, Greene states, such as desire for a mother or father figure, or creating a sense of challenge, such as Charpillon’s seduction of Casanova. Others use their bodies for temptation, including Récamier, Baker, and Bathsheba’s seduction of David in the Old Testament.

The second phase focuses on affecting a person’s emotions by mixing enjoyment and anxiety. The first technique emphasizes creating mystery to generate suspense. Casanova was seduced by a nun, Mathilde, at a convent, where he went to find his love interest Caterina. Mathilde created mystery through letters, dressing like a man as a disguise, wearing nice clothes, and sending Caterina in her place once. This generated suspense by showing that Mathilde was not who Casanova thought.

Shahrazad led King Shahriyar through a journey of stories in Tales from the Thousand and One Nights, maintaining suspense to keep him from killing her. Other examples include Casanova’s seduction of Clementina, Richelieu’s seduction of a young woman at the court of Louis XV, Warhol’s changing persona, and Baker, who surprised the French public by changing her dancing. Surprise can become predictable—a reversal of this technique—so seducers should strive for different surprises.

Using language is key to seduction, and Greene describes a story about Charles de Gaulle, who quelled the rebellion of right-wing French in Algeria through vague language and false empathy in a speech that made them think he supported them. Ambiguous language causes people to project their own ideas.

In The Seducer’s Diary, Johannes seduces Cordelia Wahl by being distant. After she accepts his marriage proposal, he sends her letters that describe his negative feelings about the engagement. He convinces her to end the engagement, and she does, desiring him physically instead. This illustrates the need to be distant toward an interest before surprising them with messages that create more intrigue and romance through poetic and emotional language. The interest will then create a fantasy about the seducer. When they write back and reflect the seducer’s thoughts, they can then be seduced physically.

This technique requires using embellished words to disorient and charm a person. Seducers use “diabolic language”—vague language disconnected from reality. Seducers can distract interests from thinking about the ramifications of the seduction. Seductive language is like music, which lingers and elicits emotions. D’Annunzio, Aphrodite, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Don Juan used language.

Argument, however, is anti-seductive, but remaining relaxed or humorous is seductive. Antony used emotional and affirmative language to appeal to the public’s emotions after Caesar was killed. If the seducer is not adept at words, this technique can be reversed by using language sparingly.

The next technique is using details, particularly through the senses, clothing, or gestures. In China, the Empress Dowager Tzu Shi seduced the wives of western ambassadors to China by giving them gifts, a banquet, and entertainment—details that changed their views of her, which then impacted their husbands’ views.

In The Tale of Genji, Prince Genji seduces Tamakazura by wearing fancy robes and perfumes, writing romantic letters, and giving her flowers. These details, aimed specifically at Tamakazura’s likes, helped Genji seduce her. Others using this technique include Yang Kuei-fei, who seduced Chinese Emperor Ming Huang, Prince Gregory Potemkin, who seduced Catherine the Great, and Disraeli, who “seduced” Queen Victoria, as well as Pamela Churchill, Valentino, D’Annunzio, Cleopatra, Madame de Pompadour, and Monroe. Greene notes that a focus on detail makes a person think that the seducer is making gestures just for them. Details can outlast words because they are more tangible.

Seducers should relate themselves to symbolic ideas so that their interest will see them as an ideal. Eva Duarte seduced Juan Perón by making him feel important, convincing him he was the best person to lead Argentina. She was a mix of personalities: sometimes naughty, other times ladylike. When he became president and married Eva, she charmed the public and championed the poor. Her mystery, language, and attention created idealized images in Péron’s mind because she presented herself as “the ideal woman—devoted, motherly, saintly” (281).

Idealization is key to seduction because people have ideal self-concepts and seek a romantic interest like them. Lauzun used this tactic with the Grand Mademoiselle. Cleopatra used it with Caesar by associating herself with Aphrodite. Others relating themselves to poetic images are Kennedy and Picasso. Chateaubriand made women feel like muses who prompted his poems, and Disraeli equated Queen Victoria with previous rulers like Queen Elizabeth I. The reverse tactic is total honesty, which creates a closeness that is seductive.

Greene argues that seducers must reveal their own weaknesses so that their interest feels sympathy and superiority, which will turn into love. Seducers can do this through a weak-looking appearance or by disclosing a misdeed, real or false. In Dangerous Liaisons, Valmont seduces Présidente de Tourvel by using a sad appearance, statements of regret about his past behavior toward women, and claims that she is the strong one who seduced him.

Greene explains that “seduction is a game of reducing suspicion and resistance” (289), so seducers must make their interest feel like they are in charge through vulnerability, which is natural, seductive, and can be used to connect with a person. Individuals who have used this technique include Lord Byron and Kennedy.

Greene also contends that men should not come across as too masculine, maintaining a feminine side to make women interested, such as D’Annunzio, Ellington, Kierkegaard, and Flynn. Women, on the other hand, should not come across as too manipulative or controlling; they should act like they need protection, such as the courtesan Su Shou, Coral Pearl, Monroe, and Josephine Bonaparte. Sadness and tears can also be seductive, as they stir an emotional reaction. Politicians and other leaders should exhibit their “soft side” to conceal their machinations, such as Disraeli. The reverse of this technique is too much weakness, which will end a seduction.

This tactic involves creating confusion so that one cannot differentiate between reality and fantasy. Greene shares a story about Bernard Bouriscout, who met Shi Pei Pu in China. Pei Pu eventually revealed that he was a woman pretending to be a man because of Chinese society. They fell in love, and she told him she had his child. Bouriscout left China but was obsessed with her. He spied for the Chinese and helped Pei Pu and the child move to France. The French government learned of his spying, and he told them Pei Pu was really a woman, but when they investigated, they discovered that Pei Pu was really a man.

Greene explains that Pei Pu presented feminine qualities from the onset, using a fictional story about a girl pretending to be a boy to manipulate Bouriscout, play to his repressed homosexuality and fantasies, and create trust. Then, he revealed that he was a woman, and Bouriscout believed him because the fantasy was fixed. Pei Pu also found a child to pretend to be their son.

After Catherine the Great became empress of Russia, she had an affair with Gregory Potemkin. She visited Joseph II, who she wanted to sign a treaty of war against Turkey; Potemkin transformed the region from impoverished to thriving. Impressed and emotional about Potemkin’s work, Joseph signed the treaty. Potemkin, though, had created an illusion, only improving the buildings that they could see during their journey. This illustrates how emotions can create a believable illusion.

Greene adds that people crave fantasy because the real world is too harsh, so seducers can figure out a person’s repressed or unfulfilled dream or desire, much like role-playing. Emma Hart seduced William Hamilton by making herself look like a Greek statue because he collected Greek and Roman antiquities. Pauline Bonaparte seduced a German officer by acting mythical.

This technique focuses on making a person weaker through psychological or physical isolation and slow distraction using a pleasure that is different than a person’s life. After Fu Chai, the Chinese king of Wu, conquered Kou Chien, Kou Chien sent him Hsi Shih, who he fell in love with. She distracted him so much that he ignored his duties. Kou Chien’s army then took over Wu. Kou Chien knew that he had to infiltrate Fu Chai’s mind first.

Rita Hayworth met Prince Aly Khan in the French Riviera in 1948. He called her, sent her flowers, and distracted her from her dying marriage to Orson Welles. Khan introduced her to his friends, whom she didn’t fit in with, making her need him. He separated her from her friends and comfort, taking her to Spain to isolate her further. He proposed, and she accepted.

Greene explains that people are weaker when in a foreign place or isolated from others: “In seduction, as in warfare, the isolated target is weak and vulnerable” (315). This is true for Lovelace when seducing Clarissa in the novel Clarissa. Greene claims that isolating a person from family and friends is important because they may offer a rational perspective. Richard III seduces Lady Anne in Shakespeare’s play because she has no family after he murdered them. Greene cautions, “Murder is not a seductive tactic, but the seducer does enact a kind of killing—a psychological one” (316).

Taking a person away to another place helps, such as Cleopatra did with Caesar, and Barney did with Renée Vivien. Gandhi convinced his followers to detach from their loved ones. Kennedy convinced Americans to disconnect from Eisenhower’s era.

Greene then tells seducers that they should also provide danger to create a sense of adventure. A reverse of the isolation technique is to isolate a person from what they find familiar, then provide new pleasures.