67 pages • 2 hours read
Jeff GarvinA modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more. For select classroom titles, we also provide Teaching Guides with discussion and quiz questions to prompt student engagement.
Riley’s perception of themself is distorted both by their gender dysphoria and anxiety. The novel depicts this experience through Riley’s encounters with their reflection, particularly in heightened emotional states. After Riley writes their second blog post recounting the first time they realized they were different, they look at themself through their phone camera’s selfie mode, noting that the external image of the cracked phone screen and their internal emotional state do not match. Later on in the novel, when the anonymous sender reveals they know Riley’s real name, Riley punches through their bathroom mirror, once again viewing themself through a distorted reflection.
This distortion theme also extends to Riley’s relationships with other people. Even when Riley is looking at Derek Yu’s picture on their phone, the screen is cracked, displaying Riley’s belief that they are at fault for Derek’s betrayal.
Throughout the novel, characters turn to media from the past for comfort, stress relief, and inspiration. Riley frequently listens to music on a record player, and often wears band T-shirts from the 1970’s and 80’s. Their affinity for older music is also one of the few ways Riley bonds with their father, modifying an old Ramones shirt of his to better fit their frame, and helping him pick a new song for his campaign. Riley loves the music, but they also connect to these bands because of the artists’ ability to challenge traditional norms, either through the subject matter of their songs or outward presentation. This is why Riley chooses David Bowie for their blog’s avatar.
Solo and Bec also turn to media from the past, but for different reasons. For Solo, playing old video games at The Reagan Years arcade provides an outlet for his anger. His former nickname, Chewie, and current nickname, Solo, both originate from Star Wars characters. Bec’s interest in the past is rooted in grief over the death of her sister. Her desire to keep her sister’s memory alive, as well as her guilt over the death, causes her to keep Gabi’s half of their shared bedroom untouched. Bec also plays out aspects of her relationship with her sister in through Riley, introducing them to the Q and taking them on a date to the abandoned building she used to take her sister to.
The whiteboard refers to a coping mechanism Doctor Ann has taught Riley to use to fend off an anxiety attack: imagining a whiteboard and slowly painting it black to match the darkness behind their closed eyes, shifting their concentration from the mounting anxiety to the soothing mental act of painting the board. When Riley first uses the technique in Chapter 6, they mention that they have never been able to cover the whiteboard fully.
Riley struggles with the incongruence between their inner self and outward presentation, which causes them to experience gender dysphoria. Just as they cannot match their outward presentation to their inner self or the external expectations of others, they are unable to paint the whiteboard to match the darkness beyond it. This incongruence is only resolved at the end of the novel when Riley is fully out as gender fluid. When they close their eyes to picture the white board before speaking to the press at the conference, Riley finds it is surrounded by a comforting white light instead of the usual darkness. It is only when they no longer feel forced to match up with the external expectations of others that they can completely paint the board black.
American Literature
View Collection
Coming-of-Age Journeys
View Collection
Diverse Voices (High School)
View Collection
LGBTQ Literature
View Collection
Mental Illness
View Collection
National Suicide Prevention Month
View Collection
Realistic Fiction (High School)
View Collection
Safety & Danger
View Collection
The Best of "Best Book" Lists
View Collection
YA & Middle-Grade Books on Bullying
View Collection