Swimming in the Dark

Janusz is the primary love interest of Ludwik as well as his foil. Both Janusz and Ludwik are attracted to men and begin their careers after graduating from university. However, whereas Ludwik internally battles shame about his sexuality, Janusz possesses a different outlook, one of little care and stress: “There was an inherent elegance to your way of being, an ease with yourself and the world, as if no fear had ever penetrated your mind, as if the path you walked on was pliable and ready to be molded by your feet” (41). Ludwik sees Janusz as a carefree individual who is confident in what he wants and his ability to achieve his goals. Janusz hides his sexuality for pragmatic reasons but feels little internal shame about it. While Ludwik struggles to feel comfortable in his life and decide what he wants to do with it, Janusz strives for a beneficial and profitable life in Poland. He not only acts confidently but does so through his belief in the communist system and the Party. His political beliefs are fully in line with the government’s wishes, directly opposed to Ludwik’s own beliefs of wanting to live a life away from the restrictive and repressive nature of communism.

As Ludwik’s foil, Janusz proves to be a static character, entrenched in his communist beliefs and hopes of rising in the Party. He only sees one path forward, and it is through continuing to live a double life to advance his career and reach the top of society, like Hania and Maksio. Janusz believes that he and Ludwik can live a happy life, even if they are not together, as long as they can enjoy access to the upper levels of society, even after Ludwik leaves him and the country: “‘I adored this book more than you knew,’ it read there in your stocky, right-leaning script. ‘I wanted to keep it...but it’s yours. Bring it back one day if you can. I’ll be here. J’” (191). This note that Janusz leaves in Giovanni’s Room demonstrates how entrenched he is in living a double life in which he hides his sexuality in favor of his career. He stays in Poland, marries Hania, and even has a child with her, all for the benefit of his status in the Party, rather than make the painful and scary break of leaving to be with Ludwik.

Hania is in some ways a love interest to Janusz, although his interests in her are primarily concerned with how her family can advance his standing in the Party. Along with Ludwik, she forms a love triangle with Janusz. She is often the focus of Ludwik’s ire as he watches Janusz pursue her. She represents opportunity and the hypocrisy of the Party, as her well-connected family enjoys access to many products others cannot even dream of: “She looked very stylish, in a trench coat and cowboy boots. But even more remarkable were her earrings: they were beaded and shone in all colors of the rainbow, like the tail of an exotic bird, and so long they almost touched her shoulders. I couldn’t take my eyes off them” (99). When Ludwik first sees her after camp, he is taken with how shiny she is, wearing clothes and accessories originating in the West. Her access to such products shows that her family lives above the system that forces others, like Pani Kolecka, to suffer. Through her, others hope to gain an advantage in the system, such as when Janusz suggests that Ludwik use her to be accepted into his PhD program.

Ludwik feels uncomfortable around Hania throughout the novel for several reasons, whether it be because of the competitive nature of their relationships with Janusz or because of her proximity to the Party that makes his and others’ lives difficult. However, she displays generosity and genuine care for the people around her: “Hania looked at me with concern and sympathy all the way through, and strangely, despite myself, despite all my instincts of pain and revenge and humiliation of having to ask her, of all people, I felt a surge of love for her gentleness, her kindness in listening to me” (181). Ludwik is annoyed at times with the fact that despite all the negatives associated with her, he finds himself drawn to her. He likes her and the fact that in a world in which so many others seek to use people to gain an advantage, she truly cares for the people in her life, seemingly with no strings attached. 

Beniek is Ludwik’s first romantic interest and represents Ludwik’s first association of attraction to men with shame. When they go on a trip for their First Communion and Ludwik tries to kiss him, it is a culmination of a budding crush and the first real expression of Ludwik’s sexuality: “I could see Beniek’s outline near me, and the need to kiss him crept out of the night like a wolf. It was the first time I had consciously wanted to pull anyone toward me. The desire reached me like a distinct message from deep within” (12). This is Ludwik’s awakening to his sexuality and the first time he must confront his inner feelings. Beniek’s role is not merely to alert Ludwik to his sexuality but to also initiate his education in the true history and politics of the USSR. His family’s disappearance and its uncertain circumstances open up an opportunity for Ludwik to listen to Radio Free Europe and learn about Russia’s control of Poland. Beniek therefore represents the beginning of Ludwik’s two double lives: the one in which he hides his sexuality and the one in which he hides his political beliefs.