Someone Else's Shoes

“Am I…letting down the sisterhood? [...] By—you know—using sex as a weapon? They are basically sex, these shoes, right?”

Sam asks this question of her coworkers when they discuss how she has used the Louboutins to influence clients in her meetings. Even though she has done a great job representing her company and securing successful contracts, because Sam rarely focuses on herself, her major concern is with how her actions might be affecting others. While the symbol of the shoes bolsters her confidence, the Louboutins have yet to cure Sam’s self-doubt thus far in the story.

“Nisha looks down and realizes she cannot get through this wearing a cheap robe and flip-flops. She thinks of her clothes upstairs in the penthouse and feels an almost maternal anxiety that she cannot get to them. Her clothes.”

Much of Nisha’s story early in the novel concerns her obsession with appearances, a trait that has been drilled into her by both her husband and other the men in her life. This quote, however, suggests that her fixation may not only be the result of blatant materialism. Instead, her “almost maternal anxiety” hints at something deeper than her obsession with personal possessions, and the details of this implicit trend are later revealed when she discusses the various traumas of her past. This quote also foreshadows Nisha’s growing interest in being a good mother and the anxiety she has about her son’s situation, which is ironically juxtaposed with her anxiety about her clothes.

“It is only as she speaks that she registers his use of the word ‘we.’ As if he’d had anything to do with any of it. Swallow it, she tells herself.”

This quote comes after Sam’s boss, Simon, talks about her success as if it were part of a team effort when it was primarily her work alone. The interaction further reveals Sam’s compliant nature and, perhaps more importantly, that she is starting to recognize her own passivity during moments that would better be approached with a more assertive declaration of her boundaries and a willingness to point out her own strengths to others who consistently refuse to recognize them. Yet by telling herself to “swallow it,” Sam does not take any action to stand up for herself at this early point in the novel.

“No, women trade compliments or troubles like currency. Women smile understandingly at your confidences, then use them against you like weapons. Men she finds predictable, and Nisha likes predictability. You behave a certain way, a man responds in a way that is manageable. She understands the rules of this game.”

In this observation, the way in which Nisha regards women reveals her own patriarchal conditioning and internalized misogyny, for she clearly believes that all men and all women behave the same way. This viewpoint is not at all nuanced, but such initial limitations give Nisha’s character room to grow, as she does when she starts interacting with more diverse groups of people later in the novel. Yet this quote also shows how transactional she believes relationships to be and why her relationship with Carl crumbled when he thought she had nothing else to give him.

“But Nisha didn’t put a foot wrong as Carl’s wife. She educated herself into his world so comprehensively that there was no tiny crack in which weakness could be exposed [...] Yes, that had served her very well indeed, until she reached forty and learned there was a whole new threat. The younger women.”

This quote shows how rigorously Nisha had to adhere to conventional patriarchal standards in order to maintain her marriage. The language here suggests that Nisha seems to view the quality of her own femininity and desirability as a never-ending test, one which she began to fail as soon as she started showing signs of age. This quote is also one of the first instances of Nisha and Sam’s age being mentioned as something that separates them from their younger selves and holds them back in the eyes of society.

“‘Excuse me, would you happen to have a spare cigarette?’ She smiles sweetly at the man, and he is disarmed immediately. Doesn’t even speak as he rummages hurriedly for his packet. He lights the cigarette, like a gentleman, keeping his hands from hers, and she rewards him with another smile.”

This quote from Nisha’s time at the pub shows her willingness to use her own appearance to manipulate those around her to her advantage. Charm is often her go-to tool in order to obtain what she wants, and this instance of her deliberate manipulation also serves to foreshadow her strategic deception of Carl during the novel’s climax. It also further illustrates her tendency to approach all interactions as being transactional, especially when Moyes writes that “she rewards him with another smile,” as if her kindness comes with a price.

“She recalls a philosophy teacher asking her class, ‘How many of the decisions you make each day are because you actually want to do something, and how many are to avoid the consequences of not doing it?’ Nearly everything she does these days is just to stop something else happening.”

One of Sam’s biggest character flaws is that she does not live for herself and rarely does things to make her life any better. This quote concisely explains her dilemma, as Sam’s actions almost always revolve around stopping something worse from happening. This dynamic becomes even more of a problem as she faces more serious conflicts in the novel. For example, once Sam starts to make decisions for herself, such as spending time with Joel, she sees how easily everything else, such as her marriage, can fall apart.

“Do men hear this constant inner voice, telling them constantly to strive to be better, to be productive, to be useful?”

Gender roles are a frequent contemplation of women in Someone Else’s Shoes, as this quote illustrates. This observation is made by Sam when she thinks about her complications with work and her marriage, though it could just as easily have been thought by Nisha, showing the universality of the women’s problems. Although such concerns present a problem for all women in the novel, this “inner voice” is especially troubling for Sam, whose actions are typically driven by her need to take care of others.

“In the meantime she finds herself listening to the workers chat around her. Jasmine, she observes, is a life force, sunny and opinionated. She laughs often, as if almost everything is amusing, and although in normal life Nisha might have found this irritating, today she is grateful for it.”

This excerpt comes from Nisha’s first day working at the hotel, but it is significant that she contrasts this time with her “normal life” as she has not yet fully accepted the actuality of her circumstances. Yet this is also one of the first times in the novel in which Nisha appears to be content despite her situation. Significantly, this change in Nisha occurs when she becomes part of a new and diverse group of people and when she actually has to complete hard work in order to survive. It is also significant that here Nisha feels “grateful,” as she no longer takes wealth of any degree for granted.

“She is not sure why the shoes bother her so much—perhaps because they had been her last gift from him, an emblem of their marriage [...] It had not been unusual for Carl to dictate her wardrobe.”

This observation that Nisha makes about her shoes marks a critical change in her perspective, for it shows just how drastically her priorities are starting to shift. While she was originally concerned with her shoes and her appearance more than anything else in her life, she now has other, more pressing matters to deal with such as finding work and a place to stay. This shift also foreshadows her later feelings about the shoes and how she grows to hate them because they represent all the horrible things about her marriage.

“Nisha Cantor, a woman used to turning heads for twenty-five years, has donned a cheap black top and nylon trousers and, in her service apron, completely disappeared.”

This quote also shows how Nisha’s perspective has changed, particularly regarding her outward appearance. Whereas she had previously been concerned with how others would see her without her fine clothes, now she has proof that being nondescript does potentially offer its own set of advantages. The failure of Carl’s bodyguard to even acknowledge her in her housekeeper’s uniform highlights the invisibility of lower-class individuals while also implying that such invisibility may not always be a bad thing, for in this particular situation, it is only her lack of status that preserves her safety. It also shows how Nisha is becoming more sympathetic to the people she would have previously thought were beneath her. By putting herself in their shoes, Nisha must reconsider how she has treated the people who have worked for and served her.

“There is a steely tone to Jasmine’s voice, but genuine anxiety too. Nisha feels a flicker of uncertainty. She thinks about Jasmine handing her twenty pounds when she had barely known her.”

Nisha’s sympathies begin to shift further when she realizes her attempt to take her clothes back from the penthouse could jeopardize Jasmine’s reputation and livelihood. As is evidenced in this quote, she starts to see how her actions are selfish and harmful rather than just neutral and that she needs to balance her self-possession with a concern for those around her. This quote also highlights Jasmine’s side of the situation, showing how precarious her position is compared to Nisha’s, which makes her willingness to lend money to Nisha even more selfless.

“She gazes at the shoes and laughs ruefully. ‘They just…make me feel like a different version of myself, I guess. I’d wear them every day if I could.’ She keeps her eyes on her feet.”

In this scene, Sam speaks with Joel at a pub during a time in which she is feeling particularly insecure about her marriage. Although wearing Nisha’s Louboutins gives her confidence, her decision to wear them to the pub also suggests that Sam understands the effect they have on her appearance. This quote also highlights how the shoes change Sam, but not entirely, as she stays herself but “a different version of” herself, not losing sight of her better qualities and instead finding a new balance between Nisha’s selfishness and her own selflessness.

“You see, Anita? [...] People only see what they think they see. You keep looking cute enough, people ain’t never going to assume you’ll do anything bad.”

This quote, delivered to Nisha by her father when she was a child, summarizes Nisha’s general outlook on appearances and how they can be used for better or for worse. By recalling her father’s words and understanding the nature of appearances, she later uses them to her advantage at the climax of the novel when she gives Carl the shoes back. This also gives readers further insight into why Anita became Nisha and how she was able to change herself so that she could build a better life and leave her old one behind.

“You know, the best bit about menopause—just in case you haven’t got there yet—is that you genuinely don’t give a fuck anymore when you’re dealing with men like him. And they know it. And when they know you’re not intimidated by them, they somehow lose all their power.”

Miriam Price’s advice to Sam about Simon further highlights Moyes’s ongoing theme of the common experiences of middle-aged women. Her statement also gets to the heart of Sam’s issues with Simon and how he feels emasculated and threatened by evidence of Sam’s success. This quote also hints at the importance of female solidarity in the face of patriarchal attempts at devaluation. As Miriam is telling Sam this, she is sympathizing with her struggles and sharing her own in order to acknowledge that such situations occur far more often than they should.

“You see? This is what we’re up against. It was just a cat, minding its own business, probably doing a quite nice job of being a cat. Just leading a quiet cat life. And then some arsehole comes up and, for no reason at all, decides to wreck everything, dumping it for no reason in a bin. An actual bin with all the rubbish, like it didn’t even matter [...] That cat wasn’t even doing anything bad! It did nothing to that woman! Nothing! It was just living, being a cat! And she tried to ruin its life! Why do people have to be so horrible? Why can’t people just not be so horrible?”

This quote comes at Sam’s breaking point, just as she has seen Liz put the stray cat in the trash bin. It is clear that Sam is comparing herself to the cat and Nisha and the other antagonists in her life to Liz, as she is just trying to do her best to live a quiet life while others keep trying to make it hard for her. It is also significant that Sam does not voice her view of her life until she sees something similar happening to the cat, further showing how she cares more about taking care of others than putting herself first.

“She sees one of the men glance over and turn away. She knows that look: it’s the dismissive look of a man who thinks she’s somewhere she doesn’t really belong, the blank stare that disregards a woman no longer considered sexually desirable.”

In this quote, Sam recognizes the double bind she is put in as a woman and also a woman over 40. Earlier in the novel, when she discusses her time boxing at the gym, Sam specifically notes the way she feels less judged there, particularly by other women. Thus, it is almost ironic that she is judged this way by a man. Even so, she uses her anger at this to fuel her workout.

“She no longer cares if anyone is watching her or judging her crappy technique. She punches everyone who has exploited her kindness, everyone who has looked down on her, laughed at her, ignored her. She punches at the Fates that have left her with no job, the scorn of her daughter, the potential loss of her marriage, and the blows grow harder [...] She hits at her own failures and weaknesses, her exhaustion and sadness, embracing the fact that her shoulders are screaming, her heart pumping, that every muscle in her body is begging her to stop.”

Contrary to the previous quote, here Sam no longer has any regard for others’ opinions of her appearance. This excerpt marks a major change in Sam’s personality, as she not only stops regarding others’ views of her but also begins to fight back, literally and figuratively. Although she is not actually punching her adversaries or her problems, Sam symbolically fights back against them as she hits the punching bag at the gym. It is also significant that she punches back against “her own failures and weaknesses,” showing self-awareness and major character growth. At the end of this quote, she also puts herself first, even over her body, doing exactly what she wants instead of letting others tell her how she should act.

“You know what? I just lost my job because my boss thinks I’m a waste of space. My daughter isn’t speaking to me. My husband is leaving me because he thinks I have a lover. Most days I wish I bloody did. And I’m probably menopausal. If I’m not menopausal I’m in real trouble because I cry pretty much every day. I’ve missed two periods and most mornings I wake up with what feels like a juggernaut pressed on my chest. But right now I can deal with all of it because my best friend here has got through cancer. Everything else is just my own stupid crap. So just give me the ticket. Let’s get this over with.”

Not only does this quote concisely summarize all of Sam’s problems up to this point in the novel, but its tone also suggests that Sam has changed perspective since the novel’s beginning and put more important things in focus. This is also one of the few times in Someone Else’s Shoes that Sam actually voices exactly what she wants, even if she feels bad for wanting it. When she is pulled over by the cop, she is finally honest about her feelings, a few of which she hadn’t even shared with Andrea yet, showing significant change in her character.

“Most days I’ve felt like I don't even exist. It’s hard for you to imagine now, while you’re young and beautiful and everyone notices every move you make. But I seem to be invisible, these days, and when even the man you love doesn’t see you it’s…well, it’s pretty soul-destroying. I needed to feel like a different version of myself—and the shoes, I guess, were a part of that.”

This quote explains why Sam’s desperation to be noticed first causes her to wear the Louboutins and spend more time with Joel. It is not the first time she references feeling “like a different version of [her]self,” which seems especially poignant as she is comparing herself to her daughter. This comparison also further complicates the discussion of the female experience in the novel, as Sam can see how her experience with herself and the men in her life has changed as she has aged. Additionally, the language used in this quote is reminiscent of Quote 12, when Nisha discovers she has become invisible to others when she wears her housekeeper uniform.

“Sam watches it all, disbelieving, and finds that something strange is happening. A bubble of something unfamiliar rising in her chest, pushing upward so that she cannot control it. Sam begins to laugh.”

Words like “strange” and “unfamiliar” in this quote highlight just how unusual it is for Sam to feel the elation she feels after pulling the fire alarm at the hotel. Although her own life is in chaos, she has to laugh at the irony of being the cause of chaos for once. This is also a stark contrast to Sam’s mood earlier that day, when she was feeling dejected about Phil leaving her, and underscores the unimportance of her last action in the larger scope of her life.

“What would Nisha do? She would toughen up, be practical, strategize.”

This quote shows the direct impact Nisha has made on Sam’s life. Although Sam does not entirely lose herself by the end of the novel, her fatal flaw of not being able to stand up for herself has been balanced out by Nisha’s self-importance. Along with what she has learned through boxing, this gives Sam the strength to fight back when she believes there is an intruder in her house.

“There is someone in her house, her home, treating it like it’s theirs to walk all over, to take what they want. Well, they’re not going to take anything else. And she’s not going to be walked over any more. Sam sees the cat in the bin, Simon’s smirk, her kitchen, smashed and desecrated, her beloved family photographs trodden into the floor, the hours it took to get everything straight. Sam Kemp has had enough.”

Much like in Quotes 19 and 20, a list of all of Sam’s struggles is juxtaposed and precedes a great accomplishment. In this way, Moyes heightens the significance of Sam’s next action, showing how strong she has been to go through what she has and still learn to fight back along the way. Just like her boxing at the gym, Sam uses these negative images to fuel her rage and give her the courage to attack the person she believes is trying to ruin her life.