Rite of Passage

Sharon Olds’s “Rite of Passage” is a free-verse poem presented in a single 26-line stanza. The title suggests that the poem will involve some sort of ritual denoting entry into another phase of life, with commons rites of passage including going through puberty, learning to drive, and graduating from high school or college. Instead, the poem describes the scene of a birthday party for the speaker’s son. As the poem unfolds, it becomes clear that the rite of passage is not the birthday party itself but the entry of a young boy into a world filled with violence.

The beginning of the poem sets up the expectation that this is a party for an adult son, filled with what the speaker describes as “short men” (Line 3), but this is quickly clarified by the speaker when she states these are “men in first grade” (Line 3). Immediately, this initial misleading sets up a comparison between the behavior of the young boys at the party and that of adult men, and it establishes the wry tone that the speaker uses throughout the poem.

These short men gather in the living room, where the speaker describes them as having “smooth jaws and chins” (Line 4), hinting at the youthfulness of the guests while also denoting a sense of their inexperience and naivete. The speaker goes on to describe the boys’ childish actions: “Hands in pockets, they stand around / jostling, jockeying for place, small fights / breaking out and calming” (Lines 5-7). The scene vacillates between order and chaos as the children speak to each other, determining each other’s ages and comparing who is older: “How old are you?—Six.—I’m seven.—So?” (Line 8). Given the fights that have been erupting, this comparison has a sinister and threatening edge to it. The boys continue to make assessments and size each other up, “seeing themselves, / tiny in the other’s pupils” (Lines 9-10).

Once again, the speaker makes a dryly humorous comparison of the children to adult men: “They clear their / throats a lot, a room of small bankers” (Lines 10-11). This humor, however, is quickly tempered by aggression and a more serious turn when a seven-year-old boy tells a six-year-old, “I could beat you / up” (Lines 12-13). This line pairs the potential violence with an object not unfamiliar at birthday celebrations: a cake. It is specifically referred to as a “midnight cake” (Line 14), which implies that the cake is very chocolatey, or that it was made by a harried mother in the middle of the night before the party. The description juxtaposes the very male and aggressive world of the boys’ interactions with a more motherly and domestic one. The cake is also “heavy” (Line 14) and compared to a turret, referring to the upright portion of a castle, a nod to a medieval world of battle.

The imagery of war firmly established, the speaker’s attention turns to her own son amid the party, with an endearing description that hints at his smallness and childishness: “freckles like specks of nutmeg on his cheeks, / chest narrow as the balsa keel of a / model boat” (Lines 16-18). This very maternal description again juxtaposes domesticity and war, evoking both kitchen spices and the idea of ships. However, that ship, in this case, is described as small and narrow, hinting that it is not a ship meant for warfare. Additionally, balsa is a type of wood known for being lightweight and soft, and the speaker’s decision to use that particular type of wood to describe her son suggests that she recognizes how young and small he still is, and how his own true nature may be antithetical to the tough posturing she sees among the boys.

The speaker continues to describe her son, noting his “long hands / cool and thin as the day they guided him / out of [her]” (Lines 19-20) in childbirth. This reference to the almost feminine quality of her son’s hands and the scene of birthing him are very female-centric images and form a striking contrast with the earlier aggression of the boys and the more war-like imagery throughout. This connection between death and destruction and life-giving feminine qualities will echo later toward the end of the poem and forms one of its major motifs.

With the speaker’s description of her child’s innocence complete, the son finally makes a statement of his own, saying, “We could / easily kill a two-year-old” (Line 22). This statement is very much at odds with the mother’s description of her son’s child-like qualities. The mention of his “clear voice” (Line 23) indicates that there is a sharpness to his statement, which is surprising coming from such a young boy. It is also a noticeable shift of tone in the poem—from a young mother ruminating on the birth of her son on his birthday to an up-close view of male aggression at a very young age. In the next couple of lines, the speaker’s comparison of the children to adult men returns as the speaker describes the reaction to her son’s statement: “The other / men agree, they clear their throats / like Generals” (Lines 23-25). This comparison refers back to the idea of war and battle established earlier in the poem.

The poem’s last two lines continue the comparison of the children to generals: “They relax and get down to / playing war, celebrating my son’s life ” (Lines 25-26). The poem ends with this juxtaposition of war, which is strongly laden with death and destruction, pitted against the idea of birth and life in the form of a birthday celebration.