Really Good, Actually: A Novel

Maggie's quest toward personal identity unfolds as a profound exploration of introspection, resilience, and the complexities of human relationships. Throughout this section, Maggie confronts her discomfort and makes sacrifices in her quest for growth and self-acceptance, and she ultimately makes significant strides in The Journey to Self-Discovery. Embracing the prospect of achieving growth through discomfort, she boldly decides to leave her comfortable life in Toronto to live with her father, embarking on a weekly 6-hour commute over two days to maintain her commitments. Despite inconveniencing her friend Lauren for a place to sleep while in Toronto, Maggie finds unexpected comfort in her father's company, which challenges her initial expectations of the arrangement. Her father's acknowledgment of past mistakes and his perspective on the topic of failed marriages offer Maggie a new sense of clarity, prompting her to confront her own struggles with assigning blame for the divorce. His hard-earned wisdom from his failed relationship encourages Maggie to reevaluate her own, and she realizes  the importance of restraint and active listening.

Most importantly, Maggie endeavors to break free from the cycle Societal Pressures and Keeping Up Appearances. She shares with her father a fundamental realization, remarking, "This sounds very basic... but you don't have to say everything you think and feel to everyone around you all the time. Even if you want to. You can keep it to yourself" (312). This insight reflects Maggie's growing understanding of the intrinsic value of internal validation and the need to cultivate a sense of self-assurance that is independent of external opinions. Reflecting on her past marriage, Maggie acknowledges that part of its allure involved the idea of having a partner with whom she could share her innermost thoughts. However, her father offers a counterpoint, emphasizing that relationships require active listening and mutual engagement. He points out, "The whole point of a relationship is you've also got to listen to [...] their stupid bullshit [...] I assume you struggled in this area" (312). Faced with this candid approach, Maggie recognizes her past failure to truly listen, realizing that she often prioritizes her own thoughts and opinions over those of others.

This session reflects considerable progress in The Journey to Self-Discovery, for as part of her growth process, Maggie commits to becoming a better listener and friend and actively acknowledges her past shortcomings. Despite occasional success in this endeavor, her persistent rise of shame serves as a painful reminder of her perceived failures, evoking a sense of inadequacy that often undermines her progress. This internal struggle underscores the complexity of Maggie's journey towards self-acceptance and highlights the challenges inherent in breaking old behavior patterns. Significantly, much of Maggie's discomfort stems from her practice of restraint. Initially, she contemplates deleting all of her dating and social media apps, recognizing the need to reduce her online presence. However, she realizes that this step is too drastic and opts instead to limit the time she spends online. Even her attempt to apologize to Amy is fraught with discomfort, as she embarrasses herself during the apology and struggles through a challenging spin class. However, with each new attempt to moderate her past excesses and repair damaged friendships, she demonstrates a greater degree of maturity and is rewarded with new equanimity and serenity in her life.

Another significant indicator of Maggie's growth is her journaling exercise, where she candidly expresses her desires and vulnerabilities. Some wishes are trivial, while others delve into deeper emotional territory, such as her yearning to be taken seriously and reciprocate her friends' care. Maggie also articulates longstanding hopes, revealing her desire for a partner who values her authentic self and addressing her lingering insecurities about her body and worthiness of love. While voicing these thoughts is profoundly uncomfortable for Maggie, she confronts her discomfort head-on, acknowledging her embarrassment but choosing to express her vulnerability in order to improve her life.

Perhaps the most profound shift in Maggie's mindset is her move away from seeking mere acceptance towards actively pursuing personal change. For example, she no longer succumbs to every impulse and instead deliberates on her actions and their consequences. This new behavior pattern becomes most prominent when she encounters Jon and refrains from engaging with him. She even refrains from disclosing the encounter to her friends, and this decision reflects her newfound agency and her willingness to prioritize her personal growth over fleeting and problematic desires.

While discomfort is an inevitable part of growth, so too is sacrifice. For example, Maggie relinquishes an opportunity to reconnect with Simon, instead prioritizing her ongoing quest for self-discovery. This decision marks a significant departure from her past patterns of risky behavior in relationships. By focusing on her personal development, she ensures that she will continue her forward progress despite the pain of refusing a promising romantic prospect. Even though Maggie struggles with her decision and inundates Simon with excuses, her actions signify considerable growth from the outset of her journey. Even at the novel’s conclusion, the author creates a realistic portrayal of Maggie’s development, for her journey remains imperfect and incomplete. However, notable shifts in her behavior are evident. Although she was previously reliant on external validation to maintain her equilibrium, Maggie has clearly transitioned to a more independent stance, which is symbolized by her casual signing of the divorce papers and her subsequent composure as she moves forward. While she still encounters emotional challenges such as occasional tears and inner struggles, Maggie's evolving resilience and increasing capacity to navigate life's complexities illustrate her significant strides in personal growth.