Pseudolus

“So this is our plan: to wear me out and the whip?

Short attention span? Maybe you’ll pay attention to THIS!”

Ballio is needlessly, excessively cruel to his slaves and prostitutes. In spectators’ first vision of him, he insults and threatens them, telling his slaves that whipping is the only way to get them to work, and telling his prostitutes that if they don’t earn enough gifts for his birthday, he’ll turn them out on the street. Ballio is, early in the play, established as a villain, making spectators root for Pseudolus to swindle him. It is one way in which systems are inverted in Pseudolus.

“What’s the fun of being in love if you can’t be a fool?”

In response to Pseudolus’s advice to “think creative and constructive thoughts” (238), Calidorus acknowledges his ineffectiveness. This line reiterates the dulling effects of love, seeming to mock Calidorus’s love, and perhaps all love, as frivolous and wasteful.

“Pseudolus, my friend, let me be worthless! Please, please!”

Devastated by the impending sale of Phoenicium, Calidorus enlists the help of Pseudolus, making no effort to help himself. Pseudolus says he can offer “[c]ash, a loyal accomplice, or just a good plan” (19), insisting that he can obtain the money Calidorus needs to rescue Phoenicium even though he doesn’t yet know how to do it. In Pseudolus, those of lower status often prove smarter and more successful than their social superiors. In this line, Calidorus does not deny, and in fact embraces, his indolence. Examined more deeply, Calidorus’s behavior reminds us that he, unlike Pseudolus, does not need to rely on his wit to survive.

“…If I were in the middle

Of a sacrifice to mighty Jove and suddenly the chance to

Grab some cash arose—end of sacrifice right then and there!

Cash! Under any and all circumstance, that’s my higher calling.”

Ballio exhibits a mercenary attitude when he tells Calidorus that, as a “past supporter” (250) who no longer has money, he is “as good as dead” (249). He states, “Don’t bother coming to me with a complaint unless it’s silver-plated” (312). In these lines, Ballio’s obsession with money not only contributes to his unsavoriness but also offers an example of his blasphemousness: even Pseudolus gasps, “He thinks absolutely nothing of the gods we all revere!” (269). The slave Pseudolus’s condemnation of this blasphemy is another indication of social inversion in the play.

“[Y]our girlfriend has been converted into cash.”

Pseudolus contains no speaking roles for women. In fact, spectators see women only twice: when Ballio scorns his prostitutes, and when Simia emerges from Ballio’s with a wordless, weeping Phoenicium. The lack of female presence suggests women’s powerlessness or lack of value in the world of Pseudolus, in which men compete for power and reputation and use women chiefly as currency.

“But just like a poet takes up his tablet and though

He looks for what doesn’t exist at all, he still finds it, and

Makes complete fiction seem like the truth.”

Pseudolus has promised Calidorus to help him steal Phoenicium from Ballio; however, he has no plan to do so. In this short monologue, Pseudolus admits to himself and to the audience that he’s “laid it on thick for your young master” (395) and now must come up with a plan to keep his promise. He compares himself to a poet who must create something from nothing—and, notably, who is able to deceive. This is not the only instance in which Pseudolus appropriates superior roles; he also frequently compares himself to a general.

“A father had better be righteous, if he requires his

Son to be more righteous than he was himself!”

In a rare moment of seriousness, Callipho, a voice of reason in the play, suggests to Simo that if he is disappointed in his son’s choices, he should not have participated in “disgraceful acts” (440) and acquired debts in his youth. In the world of Pseudolus, those of higher social status often speak with authority but fail to demonstrate any real superiority. Callipho’s statement to Simo goes further by illustrating that even though he is superficially more powerful, Simo has little right to criticize his son.

“My confidence rests on the valor of my ancestors,

As well as on my own diligence and diabolical deceit.”

Pseudolus has just bet Simo that he will succeed in freeing Phoenicium and in obtaining the money from Simo. In these lines, he expresses confidence that there is “[n]o need for fear, no cause for dread, when there’s a plan in my head!” (575). His discussion of the “valor” of his ancestors is ironic given his status as a slave, as is his frequent appropriation of military language. It demonstrates his confidence, or perhaps mocks his superiors, who place importance on their own ancestors.

“Her name is Fortune. And this holds true as well:

It’s how you make use of Her that makes you successful and wise in men’s eyes.”

Pseudolus is delighted that his chance encounter with Harpax has resulted in his possession of the Macedonian soldier’s sealed letter. He notes that to achieve success, one must have a sound plan, but that Fortune, or luck, plays an important role, too. However, it is not enough to be the recipient of good luck: one must “make use of Her” (680). By improvising in his conversation with Harpax and convincing Harpax to leave him the letter, Pseudolus demonstrates cleverness and quick thinking.

“He’s the very picture of human perfection—and my mastermind!”

Pseudolus is a slave who is plotting to steal Phoenicium from Ballio; he himself admits he offers “[a] triumph of trickery, treachery, and downright roguery!” (705). Calidorus’s comment to his friend Charinus that Pseudolus is “the very picture of human perfection” demonstrates once again the social and moral inversions in Pseudolus.

“Need I remind you this play is being performed for the spectators?

They saw exactly what happened. I’ll bring you up to speed later."

When Pseudolus tells Calidorus about the sealed letter he has received from Harpax, Calidorus asks for more explanation; Pseudolus reminds him that as they’re in a play, the spectators have already heard the explanation and that there’s no need to spend time rehashing them at the moment. These amusing lines are one example of many in which Pseudolus acknowledges the audience. This interaction with the audience simultaneously encourages audience members to relate to the characters and to feel a part of the play. It also suggests characters, and events, should not be taken too seriously.

“Time to lead my legions with their standards all in order.”

Pseudolus frequently uses military language to describe his plot to steal Phoenicium. For example, he says he has “marshaled [his] troops” (579) and that he will use his “army of tricks” (572). His language demonstrates not only his confidence in his abilities but also the social inversion in Pseudolus.

“Oh, Simia! I love, cherish, and honor your dishonesty!”

In Pseudolus, qualities traditionally looked down upon—the ability to lie, trickiness, the willingness to steal—are revered. These qualities are what make Pseudolus successful in stealing Phoenicium for Calidorus. When Pseudolus meets Simia, a fellow slave enlisted to help them, he is delighted to find him equally wily as he. Simia, with witty banter typical of Pseudolus, assures Pseudolus he is dishonest enough for the job. His and Pseudolus’s dishonesty are forgivable in part because Ballio is even more dishonest than they are: Simia notes that Ballio is “as crooked as a three-dollar bill” (954), a comment on his physical appearance that applies equally to his morality.

“I do believe he’s less wicked than you’d expect from a cook.

So far he’s only stolen a cup and a ladle.”

Ballio hires a cook for his birthday party, stating that the forum should be called “Crooks’ Corners” (791) instead of “Cooks’ Corners” (790). He is skeptical of the cook’s talent, claiming that “anyone who values his goods won’t hire [the cook]!” (850). He summons a slave, ordering him to “keep [his] eyes focused” (857) on the cook to make sure he doesn’t steal anything and calling the cook’s assistants “thieves-in-training” (865). When Ballio later states that the cook has stolen a cup and a ladle, his use of “only” helps establish that in the world of Pseudolus, where characters brazenly cheat and lie to each other, the bar for morality is often set low.

“I’d rather solemnly perjure myself a thousand times

Than let him make a laughingstock out of me once!”

Ballio is thrilled that he has given Phoenicium to whom he believes to be the Macedonian soldier’s slave, Harpax, because it means he no longer is at risk of being swindled by Pseudolus. He suggests that ego and personal reputation are more valuable than honesty, a priority system espoused often in Pseudolus. Of course, Ballio is wrong—he has already been swindled by Pseudolus and will become a laughingstock. Pseudolus remains constantly one step ahead of his social superiors. That the audience is aware of Ballio’s mistake before Ballio himself is aware makes the play humorous and relatable for spectators.

“Now to see what my Ulysses has accomplished:

Has he seized the Palladium from Pimp-citadel?”

Simo wonders whether Pseudolus has succeeded in swindling Ballio out of Phoenicium. According to legend, the Palladium was a wooden figure of Athena that, as long as it rested in Troy, would keep the city safe; when the Greek hero Ulysses (or in Greek, Odysseus) removed it, Greece was able to conquer Troy. Simo’s comparison of Pseudolus to Ulysses, though perhaps mocking or ironic, demonstrates Simo’s recognition of Pseudolus’s intelligence, boldness, and power. It also reinforces Pseudolus’s own comparison of his plan to a military exploit.

“And you can even have the girl as a gift for yourself.”

Ballio informs Simo that “[t]hose twenty minae you and Pseudolus bet on today / Are now safe and sound for you” (1068-69), because Pseudolus won’t be able to steal Phoenicium; however, Simo is skeptical. Ballio cockily assures him that if Pseudolus “gets possession of the girl today” (1071), Simo “can take the twenty minae out of [his] pocket” (1070) or even take Phoenicium from Calidorus and “have the girl as a gift for yourself” (1075). Phoenicium is passed around from man to man; here, she is used as collateral in a bet. Though it may be facetious, Ballio’s comment, in conjunction with Phoenicium’s lack of lines in the play, illustrates her lack of power and the disenfranchisement of women in general in Ancient Rome.

“Once I’ve got my orders I do them whether master’s present or absent.”

Harpax, irritated that Surus—actually Pseudolus pretending to be Ballio’s slave—has failed to fetch him from the inn, delivers a monologue in which he complains about the “wicked and worthless” (1103) slave who “can’t remember to do his duty without being reminded” (1104). He says that he, in contrast, remembers he’s a slave and “fear[s] master even when he’s not around, so I won’t have to be afraid of him / When he’s here!” (1114-15). His pride in his dutifulness is ironic, for he fails to complete his master’s orders after all. Once again, following the rules and adhering to accepted standards of behavior are irrelevant to one’s worth, which is measured by one’s ability to out-connive one’s opponents.

“And proud of it! Look at the attitude!

Not an ounce of respect in him on my account!”

When Simo and Pseudolus meet at the end of the play, Pseudolus shows no shame in being drunk in front of his master: Simo asks who approaches, and Pseudolus responds, “Your very own Pseudolus, wreathed and wasted!” (1287). Pseudolus consistently demonstrates that he is not intimidated by Simo, despite Simo’s power over him; for example, when Simo insists Pseudolus will not be able to steal money from him, Pseudolus insists Simo will ultimately give it to him himself. Though Simo rails against Pseudolus’s disrespect, it’s exactly his indifference to the rules that makes Pseudolus successful in his plot to free Phoenicium.When Simo and Pseudolus meet at the end of the play, Pseudolus shows no shame in being drunk in front of his master: Simo asks who approaches, and Pseudolus responds, “Your very own Pseudolus, wreathed and wasted!” (1287). Pseudolus consistently demonstrates that he is not intimidated by Simo, despite Simo’s power over him; for example, when Simo insists Pseudolus will not be able to steal money from him, Pseudolus insists Simo will ultimately give it to him himself. Though Simo rails against Pseudolus’s disrespect, it’s exactly his indifference to the rules that makes Pseudolus successful in his plot to free Phoenicium.

“Fair enough—here it is.”

Despite the cheating and lying so prevalent in Pseudolus, when bested, characters concede without contention. Here, Simo readily hands twenty minae to Pseudolus, to whom he has lost a bet. Similarly, Ballio does not fight Harpax’s demands that Ballio return the money the Macedonian soldier paid for Phoenicium, nor does he refuse to pay Simo the money he promised if Pseudolus succeeded in his plot. Characters’ willingness to accept defeat and pay their debts is reminiscent of their expectation of being insulted and cheated: defeat is part of the game they all play.

“What should I do with him? He takes my money and mocks me too!”

Simo demonstrates lack of control over Pseudolus, who doesn’t hide his drunkenness and boasts of how he’s swindled Ballio, despite Simo’s insisting he’d “never get” Simo’s money (1314). Simo wonders if he should “be nasty or nice with him” (1290); ultimately, he “rules out violence” (1291) out of “hope of getting anything out of him” (1291). Simo is intimidated by and at the mercy of his slave. Pseudolus thus presents not only social and moral but also power inversion.

“How much pity would you have given my back if I had failed today?”

When Simo expresses disbelief that Pseudolus is “really going to take this [twenty minae] from [his] master” (1321), Pseudolus responds that if he had lost the bet, Simo would have had no qualms about whipping him or sending him to the mill. Though Pseudolus is a comedic play in which characters take little, including themselves, seriously, spectators here are reminded that ultimately, social hierarchies still exist. Pseudolus may be a reprieve, in which the lowborn glimpse power. Pseudolus’s comment, however, inserts a brief moment of stark reality of the world outside the confines of the play.

“I swear I’ll have my revenge.

Swear all you want. I’ve got a strong back.”

Pseudolus has demonstrated his refusal to be intimidated by both Ballio’s aggression and by Simo’s promise to send him to the mill. He also is not deterred by sudden developments; at a moment’s notice, he is able to parry with Simo over his helping Calidorus and to convince Harpax he’s Ballio’s slave. Pseudolus’s comment that he has a strong back shows the lack of seriousness with which he takes Simo’s threat; he is just as aware of his own resilience as he is Simo’s weakness.