Pay It Forward

Matt leaves the grocery store in a hurry. He has to roll his motorcycle down the hill to get it to start, but this time he drops it, breaking the front brake lever. Because of this, he must roll through stop signs on his way home, and a group of guys harass him for riding his bike slowly. Matt hates going home because his parents fight, but doesn’t have the money to get his own place, instead sleeping in “a tent in the overgrown backyard for when things got really bad” (107). He gets home to a thick envelope from Ida Greenberg, whose name he does not recognize.

From The Other Faces Behind the Movement

Matt reflects on how sometimes “you mean a lot more to somebody else than they ever meant to you” (108), thinking back to high school when he was in love with a popular girl named Laura Furley, who Matt believes didn’t know he existed.

Matt reads the letter from Mrs. Greenberg, who has divided her $25,000 life insurance policy between Matt, Terri, and the cat shelter lady. She acknowledges that this will anger her son, Richard, but that Richard can’t do anything about it. She tells Matt to use the money on himself without wasting it, because he “never made me feel like I didn’t matter, or like I wasn’t there” (109). She then explains Pay It Forward and asks him to continue it: “Give your time, if you have to, or your compassion. Lots of people have money but not that” (109).

Matt uses the money to get an apartment, which he enjoys because it is quiet, even though it is small. He sits out on the roof and looks at the moon and trees, wondering “what he could possibly do for someone else that would mean as much as this $8,333 had meant to him” (110). He wonders what he should do with the rest of the money, believing that Ida will know if he spends it poorly. The next morning, he trades in his old motorcycle, almost buying a larger and very expensive bike he doesn’t need but ultimately buys a cheaper model. He goes to Cuesta Community College and decides to enroll. While enjoying riding his new motorcycle on the highway, he thinks Ida would be proud of him.

From The Diary of Trevor

Trevor reflects on how mean his classmates, Arnie and Mary Anne, are towards him, especially when he asserts that Clinton will win the presidency. Trevor can’t believe he used to like Mary Anne. His mom tries to make him feel better with a story of when she bet her uncle the Jets would beat the Colts and he got mad when she was right. Arlene says that “Some people just can’t handle being wrong” (112). Trevor hopes his classmates don’t give him a hard time about his failed project and that Clinton wins the election. 

Reuben wakes up slightly confused in Arlene’s bed after barely sleeping. Arlene is touching and kissing the “wrong side of his face” (113), which makes Reuben uncomfortable. To get her to stop, he tells her the skin came from his thigh, hoping “the reality of that unfortunate detail might create its own distance” (113), but when that doesn’t work, he tells her he is uncomfortable. Arlene gets annoyed, and tells him he makes it hard for Arlene to like him. Reuben tries to leave, but runs into Trevor. Arlene tries to get Reuben to come back, but he tells her their time together has been a mistake.

In class, Reuben tells the students that today is the deadline for the extra-credit assignment. He asks how many students partook in the assignment, then tells a student, Arnie, that only trying to think of an idea doesn’t count. Out of thirty-nine students, Reuben is disappointed to learn that only four have chosen to participate.

Reuben asks another student, Mary Anne, to present her idea first. She explains that her father helped her implement a curbside-recycling program. Then another student, Jason, explains how he painted over graffiti in town. Reuben is impressed with Jason’s efforts and tells him so, much to the chagrin of Mary Anne, who Reuben does not feel is worthy of praise because he knows her father did most of the work. Another student, Jamie, went to the retirement home to documented elders’ stories to share with the class. Over the course of these discussions, Trevor refuses to make eye contact with Reuben. Reuben then calls Trevor to the front of the room.

Resignedly, Trevor draws out his Pay It Forward plan on the blackboard, listing all the people he’s tried to help and saying that he doesn’t feel like the plan is working. Arnie mocks Trevor and the class laughs, at which point Reuben slams his hand on the desk and yells at them. The class is silent, and Trevor continues, saying that he has to come up with three more people to try to include in the plan, since the first three have potentially not worked. Mary Anne says the deadline for the assignment has passed; Trevor says he’s doing it to effect change, not for credit. Arnie states that it’s not possible to change the world on the honor system, which Trevor tries to refute, but Reuben cuts off the discussion, saying that the best idea will get an automatic A in the class.

The following Friday, Reuben is summoned to speak with Principal Morgan, who tells him that Mary Anne’s parents have strongly complained about the fact that she did not receive the project’s winning grade, Trevor did, and it’s not known that Reuben is dating Arlene. Reuben feels like he is “under some kind of surveillance,” (119) which Morgan explains happens when you live in a small town. Instead of getting angry, Reuben explains Pay It Forward, and how it was more world-conscious than the other ideas, including Mary Anne’s which was “‘more her father’s effort than her own’” (120). Reuben also explains that he and Arlene are over, which Morgan says doesn’t matter, adding she is impressed at how much Reuben cares for Trevor.

From The Diary of Trevor

Trevor wonders what Jerry is doing. Trevor wants to believe that Jerry getting caught and jailed was an accident and that the man really intends to Pay It Forward. However, Trevor thinks Jerry could have just been using him, and that Jerry never had any intention to pay things forward in the first place. 

Charlotte parks her car and walks out onto the Golden Gate bridge at three in the morning, intending to commit suicide by jumping into the San Francisco Bay. She self-deprecatingly jokes about herself being overweight, and then notices she is being followed by a man smaller than herself. She is worried he intends to harm her, but realizes the futility of that fear. When she jumps onto the platform below the bridge, half trying to get away from this “real lowlife” (124), she twists her ankle. The guy looks over the railing and asks if she’s okay. She explains she’s hurt herself, to which the guy replies: “’You think that’s a bad fall, the next one’s the killer”’ (125). Charlotte implies she wasn’t going to jump, but the guy doesn’t believe her, saying he followed her to make sure she wouldn’t try to jump. This surprises Charlotte, who says she’ll jump if he comes near her. The man says he just wants to talk to her. He drops onto the platform and tries to talk her out of jumping, introducing himself as Jerry. They find commonality in their shared, Italian heritage, and the beauty surrounding them. A huge ship passes underneath the bridge and surprises Charlotte.

Charlotte asks Jerry why he is trying to help her. Jerry tries to lighten the situation by joking about her landing on the boat deck. Charlotte talks about finding comfort in the water’s darkness, but Jerry says the water is ugly and cold. Charlotte tries to refute his argument, but Jerry says that if his life is worth living, hers definitely is, and offers to buy her a cup of coffee, so they can talk. Charlotte starts crying, and Jerry explains Pay It Forward to her—how even though he screwed up his chances, he’s still going to pay it forward. Jerry hopes that through explaining this, he can help Charlotte believe that her life has purpose. In a last-ditch attempt to save her, Jerry suggests they flip a coin to decide if she jumps, then tells her she’s pretty, which makes Charlotte defensive. She calls his idea stupid, but goes along with it anyway. She flips Jerry’s coin, but it sails down in to the water. Jerry jokes about being upset that he lost his two-headed quarter. He helps Charlotte up off the platform and back onto the bridge, successfully saving her life. 

Arlene shows up at Reuben’s front door to ask what happened in their relationship. They both half-heartedly joke about each other being difficult, and Arlene asks if Rueben thinks she’s easy, which Reuben denies. Arlene admits to being a recovering alcoholic, and then asks what she did wrong, saying that she thought it was better to acknowledge the disfigured side of his face, which is why she kissed it. Reuben apologizes and hugs her. Reuben acknowledges that he gets mad when people pretend like they either don’t notice or do acknowledge his deformity. Arlene starts crying. Reuben admits that he feels overwhelmed at unpacking the boxes in his house because he imagines he’ll just move again. Arlene is happy that he has shared that with her and offers to help. She calls Trevor, who also wants to help.

They unpack the boxes while mostly not talking. Arlene meets Miss Liza, Reuben’s cat. Arlene finds a picture of a handsome man with a beautiful girl, who she mistakes for Reuben’s brother. Reuben explains it is a picture of himself and his fiancée, Eleanor, before he was disfigured. They talk about how neither Arlene nor Reuben got married. Arlene thinks how beautiful and classy Reuben and Eleanor look in the photo, which hurts her. Reuben asks, “Wouldn’t it be nice if I still looked like that” (136), but Arlene says no. 

From The Other Faces Behind the Movement

Arlene reflects on how Reuben would not have spoken to her if he was not disfigured, and that she found it hard to stop staring at the picture, but can’t explain why. She feels like she and Reuben are on totally different social levels and is happy that she won’t have to meet his parents, who live in Chicago, because she is not classy enough. She remembers how her mother could only afford nice things that had stains on them.

That night, Reuben unexpectedly comes over to the McKinney’s house, feeling lonely. He is soaking wet from the rain, and they talk about Reuben’s umbrella. Arlene is nervous because they are going to have sober sex, which she is not used to. She acknowledges Ricky is never coming back and that even if he does, she can’t take him back. She feels like Reuben is too good for her: “she knew that, by all rights, he was something she should never have been able to afford” (139).

Reuben wakes up “knowing full well where he was and remembering everything” (140). Arlene asks him why he slept with his eye patch on. Reuben says he’ll take it off some day. Arlene jokes that Reuben is going to have to pay it forward. Reuben makes a comment about marriage; Arlene, in turn, goes silent and puts on her clothes.

Reuben realizes he will have to face Trevor, who is eating cereal in the kitchen. Trevor seems unfazed by Reuben staying the night. Arlene makes Reuben eggs. Trevor wants them to get married, saying that it will help his project.

From Those Who Knew Trevor Speak

Troubled and feeling dishonest, Reuben calls Lou, who says that Reuben “was the only one who felt dishonest and I was the only one who knew my intentions were dishonest” (143). Lou says Reuben is ashamed of Arlene, which Reuben tries to refute. Lou tells him a story about how Lou had to give his most recent lover an ultimatum. He then tells Reuben to make an honest woman out of Arlene.

Reuben buys a ring, but debates what he should do with it. The next time he looks at Trevor, over the breakfast table, he knows he has to marry Arlene. Reuben takes Arlene out to dinner, plagued with doubts about whether or not she will say yes. At Arlene’s door, Arlene asks why Reuben is acting strangely, and he says he’s just tired. On his way home, he is shocked at thinking that he almost proposed to Arlene. He tells his cat “he’d return the ring in the morning, but he never quite got around to that” (146).