Patina

Chapter 1 introduces the novel’s central protagonist, Patina “Patty” Jones, at a track meet for her team, The Defenders. This opening scene sets up the importance of track and running to the narrative and Patty’s inner frustration and anger. After her second-place finish, Patty wants to kick something: “Maybe kick the bench over. Kick those stupid orange slices Lu’s mother brought. Anything” (7). This appears to be a simple gesture of frustration in the face of disappointment, but we later learn that Patty’s response is rooted in the childhood trauma she endured.

The weight of losing her father suddenly and her mother’s worsening diabetes condition manifests as physical anger in Patty: “I would’ve smashed each and every one of them cups on the floor… I’m telling you, would’ve left the whole stupid cabinet empty. Broken mugs everywhere. Nothing left to drink from” (12). Although Patty feels intense anger and wants to act it out in physical ways, she has learned to restrain herself and “[swallows] it all” (12). Patty channels her frustration inward and puts pressure on herself that goes beyond the normal expectations of a 12 year old. This emotional tension sets Patty’s character up for growth, as she’ll learn throughout the novel that she can be vulnerable and rely on others more.

The chapter titles follow the format of a “to do” list: Each title corresponds with the central event of that chapter and emphasizes that Patty has been forced to grow up quickly due to her childhood trauma. She takes on added responsibility for those around her, especially her younger sister, Maddy. In Chapter 1, titled “To Do: Everything (including forgetting about the race and braiding my sister’s hair)” Patty is responsible for braiding Maddy’s hair because their adoptive mother, Momly, is white and doesn’t know how to style a Black girl’s hair: “hair like Maddy’s–like ours” (9). Patty often acts in ways that put others before herself, whether it’s doing her sister’s hair or dancing at church “like the church is roach infested and it’s your job to step on them all” (22) to make her mother happy. It’s significant that Patty’s first item on her list is “everything,” since she feels that she can’t rely on others and must take on every task herself.

Patty connects her interest in running to her deceased father, who loved watching Patty begin walking and then run as a baby. Before learning of this, she “never even thought about running. It didn’t even cross my mind, even though I used to smoke all the boys in gym class at school” (28). With this context, Patty’s lingering anger over her second-place finish and devotion to running come into clearer focus. Her desire to honor her father’s memory and run for her mother fuels her pursuit of excellence on the track. To fall short means to fail in this goal. Later, Patty will establish that she feels her legs are a spiritual connection to her mother and father. She attributes the strength in her legs to her mother and wants to prove herself to her father’s memory.

These first chapters introduce the theme of fitting in, and how race and class cause Patty to feel further alienated from her peers at Chester Academy. Patty feels the need to make herself small at Chester Academy; she states that when walking through the halls “I keep my eyes down. Focus on the floor because I ain’t got time to get stunted on by a whole bunch of rich girls whose daddies’ own stuff” (30). Her actions here suggest Patty’s need to be invulnerable along with her clear insecurities. Notably, her partners for the group project turn down both Black women Patty suggests as the focus of their important women in history project. Her group’s reaction to the Black figures as “too serious,” reflects a disinterest in Black culture at Patty’s new school and adds to her feelings of exclusion.

Patty wants to fit in, despite her frustrations with her peers. She understands that the added responsibilities she takes on in her household separate her from her peers but still desires simple connection, such as engaging in small talk about their weekends: “I was waiting for them to ask. Waiting for them to be normal. Or at least treat me normal” (35). This struggle to fit in will continue to play an important role in Patty’s development over the course of the text as she tries to navigate the roles she plays on her team, in her family, and in school.