Me Before You

“I was twenty-six years old and I wasn’t really sure what I was. Up until I lost my job I hadn’t even given it any thought. I supposed I would probably marry Patrick, knock out a few kids, live a few streets away from where I had always lived. Apart from an exotic taste in clothes, and the fact that I’m a bit short, there’s not a lot separating me from anyone you might pass in the street. You probably wouldn’t look at me twice. An ordinary girl, leading an ordinary life. It actually suited me fine.”

At the beginning of Me Before You, Louisa lives an ordinary, safe life with her long-term boyfriend, Patrick, in her familiar hometown. She doesn’t actively think about her plans for the future. This early portrayal serves as a point of contrast for Louisa’s later ambition and independence—learned from Will.

“I saw that he seemed determined not to look anything like the man he had been; he had let his light-brown hair grow into a shapeless mess, his stubble crawl across his jaw. His gray eyes were lined with exhaustion, or the effect of constant discomfort (Nathan said he was rarely comfortable). They bore the hollow look of someone who was always a few steps removed from the world around him. Sometimes I wondered if it was a defense mechanism, whether the only way to cope with his life was to pretend it wasn’t him it was happening to.”

Louisa reflects on Will’s unkempt appearance and ponders whether he uses it to dissociate from his active, past self. The use of the words “hollow,” “exhaustion,” and “discomfort” highlight the physical, mental, and emotional toll Will’s disability has had on his once vibrant self. Despite Louisa’s best efforts to inspire a love of life in Will, his view of his condition ultimately leads him to end his life.

“The thing about being catapulted into a whole new life—or at least, shoved up so hard against someone else’s life that you might as well have your face pressed against their window—is that it forces you to rethink your idea of who you are. Or how you might seem to other people.”

Jojo Moyes describes the ways that interacting with others forces one to reevaluate one’s identity and choices. Throughout the novel, Louisa undergoes a drastic transformation as she faces the challenges of serving as Will’s caregiver. Through their relationship, she gains a deeper understanding of herself and her desires for life.

“There are things you don’t notice until you accompany someone with a wheelchair. One is how rubbish most pavements are, pockmarked with badly patched holes, or just plain uneven. Walking slowly next to Will as he wheeled himself along, I saw how every uneven slab caused him to jolt painfully, or how often he had to steer carefully around some potential obstacle.”

Through her work with Will, Louisa realizes the difficult experience of living as a person with disabilities. She highlights the obstacles people like Will face in a world that does not accommodate their needs. As she grows closer to Will, she begins to recognize how little power he can exercise for his own sake. This recognition ultimately leads Louisa to support his final act of ending his own life.

“It was strangely peaceful in that room. Through the crack in the curtains I could see the outside world, blanketed in white, still and beautiful. Inside it was warm and silent, only the odd tick and hiss of the central heating to interrupt my thoughts. I read, and occasionally I glanced up and checked Will sleeping peacefully, and I realized that there had never been a point in my life before when I had just sat in silence and done nothing.”

As Will attempts to recover from an illness, Louisa cares for him overnight during a blizzard. Separated from her turbulent family home, she experiences a different life in Will’s home. Through Will’s influence, she begins reading, an act that represents her changing interests and expanded perspective on the world.

“It was impossible to be this close to someone, to feel their skin tauten under your fingertips, to breathe in the air that they breathed out, to have their face only inches from yours, without feeling a little unbalanced. By the time I reached his other ear I had begun to feel awkward, as if I had overstepped an invisible mark.”

Will and Louisa grow closer physically, mentally, and emotionally. As she grooms him, she feels their attraction growing. Through this intimacy, they impact each other in life-altering ways that redefine the true meaning of love.

“It’s just that the thing you never understand about being a mother, until you are one, is that it is not the grown man—the galumphing, unshaven, stinking, opinionated offspring—you see before you, with his parking tickets and unpolished shoes and complicated love life. You see all the people he has ever been all rolled up into one.”

In her own chapter, Will’s mother Camilla discusses the complexities of motherhood. Although she acknowledges Will’s power as an adult, Camilla ultimately views him as her child. This sense of nostalgia and protection compels her to monitor Will and, in the end, allows him to make his own choices.

“I hated her for the fact that for my whole school career teachers insisted on telling me in hushed tones how bright she was, as if her brilliance wouldn’t mean that by default I lived in a permanent shadow. I hated her for the fact that at the age of twenty-six I lived in a box room in a semidetached house just so she could have her illegitimate son in with her in the bigger bedroom. But every now and then I was very glad indeed that she was my sister.”

Louisa describes her complicated relationship with her younger sister Katrina (or Treena), whose choices have limited her ability to escape her childhood home. She blames Treena for her lack of freedom but simultaneously relies on her as her closest confidant. As the novel progresses, the two sisters navigate a new chapter in their relationship that allows them to support each other and break free from the limited life experiences in their hometown.

“I would have to fill those little white rectangles with a lifetime of things that could generate happiness, contentment, satisfaction, or pleasure. I would have to fill them with every good experience I could summon up for a man whose powerless arms and legs meant he could no longer make them happen by himself. I had just under four months’ worth of printed rectangles to pack with days out, trips away, visitors, lunches, and concerts. I had to come up with all the practical ways to make them happen, and do enough research to make sure that they didn’t fail. And then I had to convince Will to actually do them. I stared at my calendar, the pen stilled in my hand. This little patch of paper suddenly bore a whole heap of responsibility.”

Describing her calendar of activities for Will, Louisa reflects on the pressure she feels to change his mind about euthanasia. The calendar represents her hope to inspire a love of life in Will. This hope, this responsibility, drives her to continue trying despite the various hurdles she faces.

“If you’d bothered to ask me, Clark, if you’d bothered to consult me just once about this so-called fun outing of ours, I could have told you. I hate horses, and horse racing. Always have. But you didn’t bother to ask me. You decided what you thought you’d like me to do, and you went ahead and did it. You did what everyone else does. You decided for me.”

Will scolds Louisa after their failed expedition to the horse races. Offended by Louisa’s choice to plan without consulting him, Will compares her to his family, who attempt to control his every move. He desires autonomy and teaches Louisa about the power that can be stripped from individuals with disabilities. Throughout the novel, he endures to preserve his dignity and power over his own actions.

“I hadn’t realized that music could unlock things in you, could transport you to somewhere even the composer hadn’t predicted. It left an imprint in the air around you, as if you carried its remnants with you when you went.”

At her first classical concert, Louisa feels an emotional connection to the music. Persuaded by Will to attend, she begins to open up to new experiences and discovers new interests. Through Will’s influence, she uncovers new sides of herself, which lead to her empowerment.

“Now he was just Will—maddening, mercurial, clever, funny Will—who patronized me and liked to play Professor Higgins to my Eliza Doolittle. His body was just part of the whole package, a thing to be dealt with, at intervals, before we got back to the talking. It had become, I supposed, the least interesting part of him.”

As Will and Louisa grow closer, she begins to see Will as a human separate from his body. She falls in love with Will’s unique personality rather than fixating on his accident and medical needs. Jojo Moyes alludes to Professor Higgins and Eliza Doolittle (love interests from the musical My Fair Lady) to highlight the romantic, transformative relationship between Will and Louisa.

“You only get one life. It’s actually your duty to live it as fully as possible.”

Will advises Louisa on how to live a full life. Using his life experiences, he encourages her to free herself from her stifling hometown and explore more of the larger world. Moyes uses the second-person “you” here to appeal to the reader. Will’s message applies to all humans and asks readers to consider the ways they limit themselves from new experiences.

“I worked out what would make me happy, and I worked out what I wanted to do, and I trained myself to do the job that would make those two things happen.”

As Will advises Louisa, he shares his approach to life prior to his accident. As a guide, he challenges her to consider her hopes and dreams—to strive to make these dreams a reality. His influence is undeniable, as Louisa slowly transforms into an adventurous, independent woman who works through her trauma.

“Nobody wants to hear that stuff. Nobody wants you to talk about being afraid, or in pain, or being scared of dying through some stupid, random infection. Nobody wants to know how it feels to know you will never have sex again, never eat food you’ve made with your own hands again, never hold your own child. Nobody wants to know that sometimes I feel so claustrophobic, being in this chair, I just want to scream like a madman at the thought of spending another day in it. My mother is hanging on by a thread and can’t forgive me for still loving my father. My sister resents me for the fact that yet again I have overshadowed her—and because my injuries mean she can’t properly hate me, like she has since we were children. My father just wants it all to go away. Ultimately, they want to look on the bright side. They need me to look on the bright side.”

Will reveals his deepest fears and frustrations to Louisa. Through words like “claustrophobic,” “scream,” and “madman,” he depicts the restrictive, disempowering quality of his life—which ultimately leads him to choose death.

“Some mistakes…just have greater consequences than others. But you don’t have to let that night be the thing that defines you.”

After Louisa confides in Will about her sexual assault, he comforts and reassures her. This conversation occurs at the local castle maze, the place of Louisa’s deepest trauma. Through this conversation, Louisa gains validation and begins her journey of healing.

“I couldn’t tell her the truth—the truth that just a handful of us knew. That if the girl failed with her ranches and her bungee jumping and hot tubs and what have you, she would paradoxically be setting me free. Because the only way I would ever be able to leave my family was if Will decided, after all, that he was still determined to go to this infernal place in Switzerland.”

In his own chapter, Will’s father Steven discusses the complications of life for caregivers. While Steven wants his son to live, he admits he would be free to start a new life with his girlfriend if Will were to die. Through Steven, Moyes presents a portrayal of life after disability for survivors and their caregivers.

“But I want him to live if he wants to live. If he doesn’t, then by forcing him to carry on, you, me—no matter how much we love him—we become just another shitty bunch of people taking away his choices.”

Nathan shares his perspective on Will’s decision with Louisa. The two debate whether or not they support Will’s right to end his life. As a nurse, Nathan offers an experienced perspective that focuses on the reality of Will’s incurable condition. Through this conversation, Moyes presents two arguments regarding euthanasia and uses Nathan to showcase the empowerment of Will’s choice.

“I gazed out the window, my thoughts as jumbled as the clouds beneath us, unable yet to think about the fact that this was not just a logistical challenge but an adventure for me—that I, Lou Clark, was actually headed to the other side of the world.”

On her way to Mauritius with Will and Nathan, Louisa realizes the significance of this journey for herself. Her mission to change Will’s mind leads her to question her life choices and challenge herself. Through various challenges, Louisa experiences personal growth.

“And then, as someone turned the music up by the bar, I kicked off my shoes and I began to dance. It sounds stupid—the kind of behavior that on another day you might be embarrassed by. But there, in the inky dark, half drunk from lack of sleep, with the fire and the endless sea and infinite sky, with the sounds of the music in our ears and Will smiling and my heart bursting with something I couldn’t quite identify, I just needed to dance. I danced, laughing, not self-conscious, not worrying about whether anybody could see us.”

On their last night in Mauritius, Louisa frees herself from the stress of her mission to save Will and allows herself to live in the moment. She embraces Will’s advice to live boldly. This moment precedes Will and Louisa’s first kiss, which marks a turning point in the novel, as the kiss leads Will to declare his continued plan—which leaves Louisa devastated.

“I am not designed to exist in this thing—and yet for all intents and purposes it is now the thing that defines me. It is the only thing that defines me.”

Will attempts to convince Louisa to support his decision to end his life. He refers to his body as a “thing” to convey how disconnected he feels from his once active form and lifestyle. Unable to break free from his physical limitations, he seeks peace through death.

“I watched my sister as we walked, seeing her brown back exposed by her halter-neck top, her stooped shoulders, and I realized that even if she didn’t know it yet, everything had changed for her. She wouldn’t stay here now, no matter what happened with Will Traynor. She had an air about her, a new air of knowledge, of things seen, places she had been. My sister finally had new horizons.”

In her own chapter, Treena remarks on the physical and emotional changes she sees in Louisa. Though Will ultimately chooses to end his life, Louisa’s journey will continue as she seeks “new horizons.”

“I realized then that there was actual relief in his expression. That he was pleased to see me in a way he wasn’t actually going to be able to say. And I told myself that it was going to have to be enough. I would do the thing he had asked for. That would have to be enough.”

In the end, Louisa accepts and respects Will’s decision to choose his own fate. No longer morally torn over Will’s decision, she trusts him to act from his own perspective as a person with disabilities. Defying her upbringing, she develops a new perspective that allows her to support Will in his final moments.