Lola in the Mirror

“Mum never told me where she was born or how, or who her parents were. The past is dangerous for girls on the lam.”

Lola lacks the basic facts of her life, like her name or family history, but the one thing she knows is how to live on the run. Knowing too much about the past is dangerous because the police are looking for them. However, this moment also contains foreshadowing because later, Lola learns about a past much darker than she anticipated.

“‘Of course you can be so honest,’ Mum said. ‘How do we ever understand the truth if no one’s willing to show it to us?’”

Lola and her mom are talking about Picasso’s painting of his friend Casagemas, a piece of art that depicts the friend’s death by suicide. Before this, Lola did not realize an artist could depict something so honest. As someone who experiences Art as Reflection and Redemption, this realization is impactful. Given the challenges of living on the run without a permanent home, the woman is teaching her daughter the value of knowing the truth. However, her statement is ironic because she has never shared the truth about their past.

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. And I know who I’m talking to, now. It’s the thing that brought us here. It’s the thing that gave me this life. It’s the thing that made us run from the monster. It’s cruelty. It’s life itself. It’s living. It’s turning. It’s art. And it will not stop.”

As Lola watches the stroller speed into the river, she begs it to stop, repeating the imperative statement for emphasis. However, she acknowledges that it is not just the stroller she wants to stop but also the cruelties of the world. At only 17, she has already experienced so much hardship. Her admission that it will not stop depicts her belief in the inevitability of trauma and tragedy.

“We could never rent a proper place, not even a proper room with proper windows and proper doors, because Mum could never tell anyone her proper name.”

After her mother’s death, Lola reflects on their life on the run. Her thoughts show the impact on the girl, for they could never have a “proper” or a nice place to stay because they lacked a permanent identity. Furthermore, the repetition of the word proper emphasizes their difficult life and implies that Lola longs for something better.

“‘I chose this one because I thought it looked small and overlooked, a bit like how I used to feel all the time. And because Gemini was Mum’s star sign. And because the car was the colour of sunshine.’ I laugh because a memory hits me hard. ‘Ray,’ I say. Even cars get names sometimes. People call their cars names like Betty and Bella and Susie and Sparky and Queenie. ‘We called the car Ray,’ I say. ‘Little ray o’ sunshine.’”

When Lola and Charlie find the car in the wrecking yard, she tells him how she chose this car. Her reasoning—its connection to her mom’s astrological sign and its joyful color—underscores Lola’s optimistic outlook. Even though she lacks a name, she still gives one to the car, one that is synonymous with hope and happiness: a “little ray o’ sunshine.”

“‘Oh, his name,’ she says. ‘Well, that’s a strange thing for you to ask. I thought you knew his name? I thought you’d always known his name? Why don’t you know his name?’”

When Lola looks in the mirror and sees a man, she asks the reflection who that is. The woman’s surprised response hints that they are the same person because if the woman in the mirror is Lola, too, then the girl should already know the man. The use of magical realism is another vehicle the author uses to show how the protagonist grapples with The Struggle for Identity Amid Adversity.

“The artist had, somewhat curiously, temporarily abandoned her quest to uncover her identity. She told herself she did not need to know who she really was. She told herself she wasn’t afraid of being hurt again by the truth. She told herself she wasn’t fearful of the facts about Erica Finlay and the real reasons she had legged it across the country. She told herself she was too old to be scared of monsters.”

This narrative shift to E.P. Buckle’s third-person perspective enables Lola to distance herself as if she were an onlooker. Then, she can reflect on how she feels. The repetition of “she told herself” indicates that Lola is trying to justify why she stopped searching for answers about her past. These words emphasize that she is afraid of being hurt and of monsters, which is why she “abandoned her quest.” Lola has endured so much already. As a result, this narration and the pause in her research are coping mechanisms for her to survive her difficult circumstances.

“‘She said she stuck a blade in the monster’s voice box. The more I thought about her doing that the more questions I had. How could a woman with such kindness and such love inside her possibly do a thing so violent?’ I test the blade against Red’s throat. ‘But then no woman realises the full extent of what she’s capable of until she is forced to realise the full extent of what she’s capable of.’”

When delivering drugs to university boys at a hotel, one bars her from leaving the room, so she pulls a knife on him and talks about Erica. Although she threatens the boys with this, she still struggles with how a woman she loved could do such terrible things, juxtaposing her mother’s “kindness” and “love” against the capacity to inflict “violent” harm. Furthermore, when she talks about how a woman’s capabilities are exposed when she is pushed to the brink, she shows that she is capable of protecting herself, too—solidifying the Resilience of the Human Spirit. Her words also echo the mirror’s advice, emphasizing that she has known this truth all along.

“He said his own mother had danced the Tyrannosaurus Waltz for twenty years. He said the dancing took its toll. Changed his mother. Changed her heart and changed her brain. Changed who she was. Who she wanted to be. He said that every week of his life now in his day job he saw firsthand the ripple effects of domestic abuse, how the dance could make people do things they never thought they were capable of. Sometimes beautiful things, brave things. But terrible things, too. Sometimes even unforgivable things.”

After Lola shares her story with Detective Topping, he reveals that his mother was a survivor of domestic violence, highlighting the prevalence of the problem and his empathy. Furthermore, his words underscore the impact of trauma, for it can cause a person to do remarkable or notorious things, evidenced by the phrases “beautiful things, brave things,” “terrible things,” and “unforgivable things.” Although about survivors of abuse, Topping’s words ring true for Lola as well, for she has endured trauma and is doing what she needs to survive. This is all narrated in Buckle’s voice because the objective perspective feels less personal and painful for Lola.

“I’m momentarily stunned by this change in Flo. Guess I really did just assume I could walk. How fucking stupid am I?”

When Lola shares her dreams of art school with Flora, like Detective Topping suggested she do, the woman is callous, telling the girl that she has this job for life. Despite knowing that Flo is a dangerous criminal, Lola still believes the woman would let her go or “walk.” Lola admits her naivete when she asks how “stupid” she is. Despite her tough exterior and ability to survive in a harsh world, Lola’s reaction demonstrates that she is still young and others can take advantage of her vulnerability.

“This is a state with a homelessness rate three times higher than the national average. Then, Evelyn says, you gotta throw in all the bastard floods that keep taking people’s homes away, not to mention the 200,000-plus people expected to land in Brisbane from Melbourne and Sydney in the next five years alone. No more room at the inn for anyone out here, Geoff, doesn’t matter how fat your wallet is. The apartment blocks are full. The caravan parks are full. The shelters are full. Not enough tents. Not enough places to put them anyway. Not enough scrapyards owned by West End panel beaters with more heart than sense.”

In one of her long voicemail messages to Detective Topping, Lola outlines the housing crisis in Brisbane as she tells stories of her neighbors and friends. Her message invokes pathos by personalizing the statistics to demonstrate the impact on real people. The housing crisis is not just a problem or puzzle to be solved but a trauma from which people need to escape and heal.

“The world turns. The world turns for all of us. Especially Christina. And she makes me laugh.”

When Lola follows Christina and Bless da Silva, she watches the girl spin at a playground. She thinks about how circumstances shift, for Christina is happy despite the trauma of her stroller being pushed into the river. The girl is an example of Erica’s wisdom come true. Lola’s laughter indicates her realization that change is possible and that Christina has given her hope.

“I want to kiss him, but I don’t want to keep on kissing him. Because he means more to me than passion. I love this boy more than danger and desire. I love this boy more than art. And so I turn my face away from his and bring his body in for the embrace I need on Christmas Day. I hold my family tight.”

When Charlie tries to kiss Lola, this is her reaction. This quote employs hyperbole, or extreme exaggeration, to highlight the intensity of her feelings. Despite having no biological connection, he is like family to her and more important than concepts like “passion,” “danger,” “desire,” and “art.” Although she loves him, she does not want to ruin that by kissing him. The feeling of family, which is comfort, love, and synonymous with home, is the most important thing to Lola. This passage drives home the idea that Lola has stated many times: she is not “homeless.”

“‘Tomorrow morning,’ Topping says. ‘Ten o’clock.’

I still say nothing. Then I pick up my backpack, turn and walk.

‘Wait, where you going?’ Topping asks.

‘I gotta go see someone,’ I reply.

Because he saw me.”

When Lola learns that tomorrow she will discover her identity, she leaves Topping to find Danny Collins, a boy she has never met. Her reason for leaving, “because he saw” her, however, highlights that she is still on a quest of self-discovery. Although the meeting with the Detective the next day will reveal her name and history, her experience with Danny will uncover who she is inside, even more essential than a name.

“‘You chose daring,’ I say. ‘You cartwheeled instead of walking.’”

After professing his love to Lola, Danny explains that he wants to be both brave and beautiful, and this is her response. She, too, has expressed this desire, for to be like an artist is to choose daring like the day she cartwheeled down the street. Despite their vastly different lives, Lola recognizes a kindred spirit and feels connected to him.

“There is often an overriding sense of distrust in the artist’s work, especially when depicting her home city. Here, a simple road bridge extends into the all-seeing eye of the dead. She is, one suspects, speaking to the darkness inherent in any city, even one as bright as the capital of Australia’s Sunshine State.”

This is the museum label for the chapter opening sketch, which illustrates that even in bright, good places, there is darkness and evil. This refers to the trauma Lola is about to face despite feeling wonderful about falling in love with Danny. The museum label, however, counters Lola’s earlier description of how dark etching is needed to show light on a page. This quote demonstrates that good and evil coexist, juxtaposing “a simple road bridge extends into the all-seeing eye of dead” and the city’s “darkness” with the brightness in “the capital of Australia’s sunshine state.”

“‘A woman never knows exactly what she is capable of, sweetheart,’ the mum says, ‘until she knows exactly what she is capable of.’”

As Lola runs from Brandon’s apartment, she visualizes a girl in the future reading about this part of the artist’s life at an exhibit. When the girl wonders how Lola could have committed such violence, this is the mother’s response, which is an echo of what Lola Inthemirror has said before. To understand Erica and herself, Lola repeats this statement, which emphasizes not only the hardship she has endured but also the Resilience of the Human Spirit she possesses to survive it and persist.

“You’re gonna wait until that river rises twelve feet again and starts spilling over its banks […] You’re gonna wait until all that rainwater runs down from the mountains and they let those dams run free, and you’re gonna wait for all that water to rise up again through the city’s drainpipes and sewer pipes and carpark drainage holes and the city turns to chaos and Lady Flo calls all those thug watchmen back from their sinister pickets because she needs them to save her precious seafood market and everything inside it from certain flooding. That’s when you’ll be safe to move around. You’ll be invisible in the chaos of the flood.”

This is Esther’s advice to Lola about how long to wait in the hole before emerging. She talks about the chaos the flood will create; people will be so panicked that they will not notice others. This is one time it will be beneficial for Lola to be invisible. Esther’s description also alludes to the biblical flood in which only Noah and animals survived on his ark while God cleansed the earth. This allusion foreshadows events to come because the flood will eliminate many villains and antagonistic forces in the novel.

“Who, indeed, has come to see him? Who? Who. The Fuck. Are. You? Too much silence and space between the question and the answer I don’t have. The woman smiles, opens the door wider.

‘You’re the girl from the bridge,’ she says. ‘You’re the invisible girl.’”

When Lola visits Danny to return the key, his mother answers the door and asks who she is. Lola, because she is still experiencing The Struggle for Identity Amid Adversity, has no answer. Ironically, a woman she has just met, who knows little about her, can identify Lola. Additionally ironic is the fact that she calls her “invisible,” yet the woman and Danny can see exactly who Lola is.

“Only place that’s home to me is somewhere by your side.”

When Lola and Charlie decide to flee Brisbane once Lola meets her sister, she comments that he will miss his van. Charlie’s response emphasizes that home is not a place but a feeling of love and belonging. By saying that he feels at home with Lola, he declares his love for her. Charlie’s sentiment also pushes back on the societal term “homeless” because although he lacks a traditional house, he has a home.

“Silence for a moment. Only rain. Lighter than before. The flood might have peaked by now. But still the city feels abandoned. Something dead about it. Like every resident of West End has moved to high ground.”

Lola makes this observation when she hears Ephraim’s shouts outside the concrete factory. The focus on the flood cleaning out the city, leaving it abandoned, is an allusion to the biblical flood, for much like God cleanses the earth of sin, Brisbane will be free of many criminals when the rain subsides.

“Danny Collins. The prince in the picture. One day you will dance with a prince, Erica Finlay said. And one day you will find a prince who will sit for five days beside your hospital bed. My heart is a balloon, warm air inside it, expanding beneath my breast bones.”

These are Lola’s thoughts when she learns that Danny has stayed by her side all five days she has been in the hospital. She remembers Erica’s prediction that she will find a prince and marvels that this has come true. The love she feels for both Danny and Erica is full and intense, shown through the metaphor comparing her heart to an expanding balloon.

“The artist closed her eyes. She was struck in that moment by a profound sense of security, a knowing, a certainty that she would never again be homeless because the boy’s lips were home to her. His soft lips were four walls and fireplaces and kids beneath Christmas trees.”

When Lola wakes one morning in her van beside Danny and kisses him, she feels a sense of belonging and love. Like Charlie, she understands that home is not a place but a feeling. The metaphor comparing “his soft lips” to the physical structure and stereotypical picture of inhabitants of a house (“four walls and fireplaces and kids beneath Christmas trees”) further emphasizes this point. Furthermore, this section is narrated in the third-person perspective of Buckle, highlighting a shift in the use of this structure. Previously, Buckle’s voice was a means for Lola to cope with difficult circumstances, but here, it is used for her to reflect on how the world has shifted in a positive way for her.