Lily and Dunkin

Norbert Dorfman walks to Dunkin’ Donuts. Dressed in corduroy pants, Norbert realizes that the Florida heat is much worse than what he was used to in New Jersey. However, Norbert doesn’t change clothes because his mom was in his grandmother’s house crying, and when she’s upset, “it makes [him] worry about Dad” (11). Norbert takes his “relentlessly positive” (11) friend Phineas’s advice and pushes his father out of his mind and listens to Phineas’s upbeat song mix. Dunkin’s mind continues to race as he considers his new middle school and all the ways someone can die in South Florida (there are a lot).

At Dunkin’ Donuts, Norbert gets his “breakfast of champions” (13), which consists of caffeine and sugar. On his way back to his grandmother’s house, Norbert dance walks to the music, enjoying himself and feeling a bit buzzed from the caffeine. As he walks through Beckford Palms Estates, a pretty girl in a red dress waves to him. Inspired by what Phineas, his friend in New Jersey, would do, Norbert waves. He smiles to himself as he makes a mental note of the girl’s address and feels like “maybe Beckford Palms won’t be the worst place in the world” (15). Then Norbert remembers his situation and realizes it will be.  

Back at his grandmother’s house, Norbert’s mom isn’t crying anymore and Bubbie, his grandmother, has gone for a run. Norbert shares his doughnuts, and his mom suggests they go school shopping. When Norbert brings up that he might like to go by a new name, his mom reminds him that his dad gave him that name. When she does, “the happy air leaks out of the room” (18), leaving his mom in tears again, and Norbert suggests they go shopping some other time. Norbert drags himself to the guest room and curls up on the bed. He’s sad, but he wants to be happy like the pretty girl he saw earlier. 

Lily takes off the dress, wishing people, especially her dad, could accept that she prefers girl clothes. Downstairs, Lily finds her dad drinking a beer and watching TV, which is unusual and reveals his tension, but he relaxes a bit when he sees Lily has taken off the dress. However, when Lily brings up buying dresses for school and hormone blockers, her dad leaps from his seat, trying to avoid talking about either until her mom gets home. He suggests that Lily try harder to be a boy. All the while, Lily thinks about how impossible it is to pretend she’s someone she’s not. When Lily’s mom comes in, and her dad rushes out the door, her mother knows what has happened and comforts Lily, reassuring her that her dad will come around. Lily worries that he won’t and knows that she needs him to. As Lily leaves the room, her mom says the “one word that manages to make the muscles of [his] mouth form into a weak smile” (27): Lily. Lily lays on her bed and tears up thinking of her supportive mom. Being called Lily has given her hope. 

Norbert heads out to explore. His mom reminds him to hydrate, in part because of the heat and in part because the mood stabilizer he takes for his bipolar disorder dehydrates him. Norbert hates taking the mood stabilizer and the antipsychotic, but he vows that he won’t stop taking his meds like his dad did. Norbert walks past the house where he saw the girl with the red dress, but she isn’t outside. Heading toward the library, he considers the name he might use for the upcoming school year. As he draws closer, someone calls to him and leaves fall from the tree branches above. There is a boy sitting there who looks a lot like the girl in the red dress. The boy climbs down, and before Norbert can ask anything, the boy proposes they get a drink, so they head to Dunkin’ Donuts. 

Lily goes to the library to do more research on hormone blockers and checks out The Lorax. The book reminds her of her Grandpop Bob and how “safe and protected” (36) he used to make Lily feel. Feeling distant from her father, Lily longs for Grandpop Bob’s love, so she takes the book outside to a large banyan tree that she calls Bob and climbs up. It is the tree under which she and her grandfather spent many special moments. As she’s reading, she sees the boy from earlier walk beneath, and forgetting that she’s dressed as a boy now, she calls out to him. Lily regrets calling out when she sees the boy’s face fill with questions. However, after dropping her lapful of leaves and watching the boy flinch awkwardly, Lily is intrigued enough to come down and “deal with the inevitable question” (38). 

Norbert buys them each an iced coffee and himself a jelly doughnut. Lily marvels at how “confident and genuine” (38) he is. When Norbert tries to ask Lily a question about the dress, Lily suggests they go elsewhere. They return to the banyan tree that Lily calls Bob. When Lily asks Norbert’s name, a flash of emotion crosses his face before he tells Lily that he doesn’t like his name. Lily senses his pain, understanding what it’s like to not like a name, and she blurts that she’ll call him Dunkin. Norbert loves the idea and speaks feverishly about how everyone, including Phineas, will love it. Lily is annoyed at herself for saying her name is Tim and lamely explaining that she doesn’t like it because “it doesn’t suit [her]” (43). Then, Norbert asks again about the dress. 

Lily freezes. She admits that she was wearing her mom’s dress, but Dunkin clearly wants more of an explanation. Lily feels like Dunkin is judging her, so she says she wore it because her sister dared her to. Lily sees Dunkin’s relief and is disappointed in herself when she says the whole experience was embarrassing. Lily watches as Dunkin reclines, and she’s envious of how relaxed Dunkin is. 

Tim’s admission makes Dunkin wish he had a sibling. He also remembers how he felt when he saw that girl in the red dress, and the thought makes him blush. Dunkin envies how “cool and confident” (46) Tim is, and Dunkin worries that he can’t tell Tim the truth about his dad, Phineas, or his bipolar disorder. Dunkin wishes he was like Tim, “so comfortable with exactly who he is” (46), but he feels incredibly uncomfortable and longs for life before Florida. 

It’s silent at the dinner table, so Lily mentions the silly, decorated pink flamingos that she and Dunkin saw being removed from neighborhood yards. When mom asks who Dunkin is, Lily doesn’t want to anger her dad, so she doesn’t mention he’s the boy she met while wearing a dress.

After her shower, Lily overhears her parents talking in their bedroom. Her mother advocates that Lily needs the hormone blockers and that she’ll pay whatever it takes to make sure Lily’s body doesn’t become more manly. She reminds Lily’s dad about the time Lily, at five years old, almost used the nail clippers to cut off her penis. She reiterates that even then Lily knew she was in the wrong body and that Lily’s Grandpop Bob knew and accepted it. Lily’s dad stresses how expensive the hormone blockers are and questions whether Lily becoming more manly might be “good for him” (49). He continues to defend his position by pointing out how cruel people can be and explaining that his resistance to Tim’s transition is out of the desire to protect his child.

Lily can’t sleep after hearing her parents’ conversation, so she writes a letter, as she often does, to a hero. Her letter to Jenna Talackova, a transgender actress who competed for Miss Universe Canada, praises Talackova’s strength, and she signs it Lily Jo. 

After taking his medications, Dunkin looks up new magic tricks online. He used to entertain his mom with them, especially when his dad was too depressed to get out of bed. He remembers that his dad’s “crazy highs weren’t much better” (54), but he also knows that his dad loved him and his mom completely. After Dunkin realizes that he doesn’t have anyone aside from his mom and Bubbie to try the trick on, Dunkin hopes that he’ll make more friends in Florida than he did in New Jersey.