Life on the Mississippi

“The world and the books are so accustomed to use, and over-use, the word 'new' in connection with our country, that we early get and permanently retain the impression that there is nothing old about it.”

Twain conjectures that the reason America is never viewed as old or as having any noteworthy history is because the word “new” is always used to describe America, to the point of overuse.

“It always happens that when a man seizes upon a neglected and important idea, people inflamed with the same notion crop up all around. It happened so in this instance.”

Twain observes that once a person comes up with an idea that is seemingly original, many more will suddenly arise with the very same idea. In the case of the Mississippi, many people decided to explore it and see what riches it held.

“I now come to a phase of the Mississippi River life of the flush times of steamboating, which seems to me to warrant full examination—the marvelous science of piloting, as displayed there. I believe there has been nothing like it elsewhere in the world.” 

Twain’s adamant belief in the superiority and scientific merit of steamboating is highlighted in this passage. Though he has traveled the world and seen many things, steamboat piloting is the most noble profession for him.

“Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates. These ambitions faded out, each in its turn; but the ambition to be a steamboatman always remained.”

Twain had wanted to be a steamboat pilot since he was a child and achieved this goal in time. This quote highlights how important perseverance is when dealing with life goals.

“There's only one way to be a pilot, and that is to get this entire river by heart. You have to know it just like A B C.”

Bixby tells Twain the secret to steamboat piloting is garnering concrete knowledge and a hands-on education about the river itself, thereby highlighting how important education is.

“Your true pilot cares nothing about anything on earth but the river, and his pride in his occupation surpasses the pride of kings.”

Twain again equates piloting steamboats to a noble profession, this time elevating his favorite profession to the status of pride found amongst royalty.

“The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book—a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.”

This beautiful passage equates the river to a dead language, one that can only be deciphered by those pilots who put in the time and effort to learn the language. Once learned, the river becomes like a book with new stories on every page.

“No, the romance and beauty were all gone from the river. All the value any feature of it had for me now was the amount of usefulness it could furnish towards compassing the safe piloting of a steamboat"

Twain admits the sad plight of pilots who, after mastering their craft, find themselves no longer spellbound by their passions. Where once the river was a vibrant life force, it was now a simple means to an end.

“The girl couldn’t seem to have enough of that pitiful ‘hero’ the rest of the trip, but little I cared; I loathed her, anyway.”

Twain’s affections for a girl are soured when she chooses another man with a “hero complex.” His stance here underscores how upset he really is at not being chosen.

“There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.”

Twain’s humor again highlights his prose as he comments on science. Twain remarks on how a small scientific face can unleash an unlimited amount of speculation.

“I often wanted to kill Brown, but this would not answer. A cub had to take everything his boss gave, in the way of vigorous comment and criticism; and we all believed that there was a United States law making it a penitentiary offense to strike or threaten a pilot who was on duty.” 

Twain highlights the importance of training and respect for his superiors while on the river, showing how importantly pilots were viewed by their cubs (trainees).

“This was bad—not best, anyway; for mine was not (preferably) a noonday kind of errand.”

Twain must do a complicated errand on behalf of an old friend, an errand that will take some time and should be carried out covertly. Twain wishes it was more of an errand that would take little time and effort.

“The changes in the Mississippi River are great and strange, yet were to be expected; but I was not expecting to live to see Natchez and those other river towns become manufacturing strongholds and railway-centers.”

Just as the river changes, the town’s that Twain used to visit along the river change in time, highlighting America’s growth and the passage of time itself.

“There’s one thing in this world which a person won’t take in pine if he can go walnut; and won’t take in walnut if he can go an iron casket with silver door-plate and bronze handles.” 

This astute comment from an undertaker highlights the fact that death is one thing people do not skimp on, which is why he is so successful. People will pay top dollar to make sure they or their loved ones are well taken care of in death.

“In the South the war is what A.D. is elsewhere; they date from it."

Twain’s observation on how the Civil War guides the lives of those in the South. Conversation seems to move toward the war, and as Twain comments, everything dates from the war.

 “… War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has not been in the moon is likely to be dull.”

In comical fashion, Twain shows how poets can sometimes seem full of hot air and appear dull. By contrast, someone speaking from experience can often hold the interest of others in a conversation.

“The history of Mississippi piloting affords six or seven instances of this sort of martyrdom, and half a hundred instances of escapes from a like fate which came within a second or two of being fatally too late; But there is no instance of a pilot deserting his post to save his life while by remaining and sacrificing it he might secure other lives from destruction. It is well worth while to set down this noble fact, and well worth while to put it in italics, too.”

Twain returns to the nobility and bravery of steamboat pilots. Unlike other professions, steamboat pilots put their lives on the line to save their ships and those on their ships. Instead of self-preservation, they attempt to preserve the lives of others in times of disaster.

“He never printed another paragraph while he lived, and he never again signed ‘Mark Twain’ to anything.”

This hilarious passage explains how Twain came to use his pen name, Mark Twain. He took it from another writer whom he made fun of, and claimed the name as his own.

“… The investigation of long ago had proved that the benevolent Brown, like ‘Jack Hunt,’ was not a real person, but a sheer invention of that gifted rascal, Williams—burglar, Harvard graduate, son of a clergyman.”

Twain’s wit shines in this passage about a man who makes up a story to invoke pity. It turns out the story is false, and the man, whom one would think would be a respecter of the law, is a conman.

“Oh, he succeeded well enough—another case of d—d fool. If they’d sent him to St. Louis, he’d have succeeded sooner.”

Twain returns to his childhood home and inquires what people think of him only to learn that he, too, is considered a “damned fool.” Twain is glad that he told the man his name was Smith, thus avoiding embarrassment.

“I was told what became of him, but as it was a disappointment to me, I will not enter into details. He succeeded in life.”

Another example of Twain’s humor, evidenced in his bitter and comical assessment of someone he does not like having succeeded in life.

“Observe, now, how history becomes defiled, through lapse of time and the help of the bad memories of men.”

Twain astutely conjectures that both time and man are responsible for history being polluted and/or forgotten.

“The people don’t dream; they work. The happy result is manifest all around in the substantial outside aspect of things, and the suggestion of wholesome life and comfort that everywhere appear.”

Twain comments here on the productive work ethic and environment of cities to the north of St. Louis, highlighting his love of these towns and their efficiency.