Life on the Mississippi

Twain returns to the difficulties associated with piloting on the Mississippi, this time making mention of man-made cut-offs that affect steamboats. These cut-offs entail ditches that are dug by men who want to try to make the river’s course straighter. Though shortening the way, they inadvertently create cut-offs on parts of the river. Twain recalls stories of ghost boats, which are steamboats that have become stuck on these cut-off pieces of river that are now sectioned off from the main body of water. Twain also introduces Stephen, a man who borrows money from everyone he can find, including another character named Yates. Stephen promises to pay everyone back, and apologizes profusely whenever he encounters his debtors. His plan is to pay everyone back alphabetically based on their names.

Twain’s services as a cub, or trainee pilot, are often loaned out by Mr. Bixby to other pilots over the two-and-a-half years that Twain apprentices with him. One such man is Brown, the pilot of the Pennsylvania. Brown is much harsher and ruder to Twain than anyone he has encountered, and is far different than Bixby as a teacher. Twain relates how Brown was never satisfied with anything he did. His rebuke was so harsh and complete that the other pilot on board also treated Twain harshly despite being nicer to his own trainee.  

Twain recounts the time when he and Brown do not exchange compliments, as the title joking relates, but get into a real fight. The steamboat is supposed to make a scheduled stop, but when Twain’s brother Harry attempts to inform Brown that they must stop, Brown does not hear Harry. Later, Brown gets in trouble for not making the scheduled stop and attacks Harry with a large piece of coal (ten pounds). Twain attacks Brown before he can hurt Harry. When Twain is forced to face the Captain for his actions, he gets in trouble, but finds that the Captain is actually glad that he attacked Brown. When Brown later refuses to sail with Twain, the Captain sides with Twain.  

Twain relates the sad news of the Pennsylvania blowing up. This was Brown’s ship, the ship that Twain had sailed on. Twain explains how, though he had avoided getting in trouble in the previous chapter, he was sent to another ship nonetheless. Twain sees the news about the Pennsylvania while reading the newspaper. The ship exploded, and he read his brother survived, but then he finds out that Harry cannot be saved. Twain goes to Memphis to be with his dying brother and remains by his side for six days until Harry dies from his wounds.

War breaks out, and Twain details how the war alters his course in life. He goes from being a steamboat pilot to a reporter who travels far and wide, leaving the Mississippi behind. 

This chapter picks up twenty-one years later, and highlights Twain’s return to the Mississippi. Though he attempts to return without being noticed, he is recognized by many people. Along his journey, Twain comments on the differences in behavior and speech by the various people he encounters along the river on his way to the South. He also makes note of the change he sees in St. Louis. Twain mentions that he has been witness to the rise and fall of the steamboat industry. For the most part, the industry has been supplanted by trains. 

Twain highlights the origins of the towns between St. Louis and New Orleans, tracing some of the towns back to French settlements. Though Twain seeks out one town inparticular, St. Geneviève, he finds that the town is now blocked from access to the Mississippi by a tow-head, a new island that has been created. Twain laments that this once-great river town is now a country town that has lost its access to the river.

Twain relates a comical tale about traveling with a pilot who regales him with stories about alligators on the Mississippi. Twain eventually realizes that he and the pilot know one another, and that the pilot is trying to figure out why Twain has decided to go incognito when he is so well known. In the end, the pilot lets Twain pilot the boat while he goes to get some rest. Twain is happy to be piloting a steamboat again. 

Though Twain is relieved to find that the town of Cairo is still on the Mississippi, he relates how many places are now gone. He and “Uncle” Mumford, the second officer, discuss many towns that have changed along the river. Some have developed into larger towns, but others along the river and on islands are gone forever. 

In this chapter, Twain relates several stories related to war and conflict. He describes a steamboat pilot who took people to watch a Civil War battle from the cabin of his ship. He also describes a town called Compromise that is beset by two feuding families. Another story involves an area known as New Madrid. Twain maintains that this area was important to Union troops during the Civil War.

Twain includes tourist accounts of travel on the Mississippi River in this chapter. He also provides a bit more of a historical context, commenting that, after the War of 1812, tourists who visited the Mississippi and its surrounding area found it savage and desolate.

Twain highlights several reasons he sees for the decline of the Mississippi’s allure. These include the fact that lights are now posted along the river to guide the way for pilots at night. There are also government boats that survey the river to find the shallow points, thus taking away some of the pilot’s agency. Another reason is that pilots must now stay awake for the entire trip. Twain also consults with Uncle Mumford about the changes to the Mississippi and to pilots and steamboat operations. Despite these setbacks, and the loss of romance that Twain feels, he admits that the new measures do save close to $162,000 on one load of cargo, and so are ultimately a good thing.

Twain includes first-hand accounts again in the narrative, this time relating stories of Murel’s gang, a local group that stole slaves. He also highlights the Yellow Death epidemic in Memphis. Twain then rounds out the chapter by giving Mrs. Trollope’s account of Memphis in its early days. 

Twain recalls a comical story about a man from Wisconsin who attempts to teach Twain about the Mississippi only to learn from his overconfidence and make a mistake. He recounts how beautiful the sunrise is over the Mississippi. In a sad tale, Twain describes a man who attempted to save his wife during a steamboat accident inadvertently killing her. The narrative closes with Twain’s descriptions of Helena and Arkansas City.