Leaving Time

“A female elephant whose baby wasn’t a baby anymore by any means still returned with a fury when [the baby] was in distress. Once a mother, always a mother.” 

Alice’s comment about the permanent nature of motherhood applies equally well to her own case. She’s still haunted by the loss of her daughter a decade after the event.

“But doubt has a way of blooming like fireweed. Once it takes hold, it’s nearly impossible to eradicate.” 

Serenity’s comment about doubt can describe the behavior of several characters in the book. She finds it nearly impossible to root out her own doubts about her psychic gift, Virgil’s doubt about his competence as a police officer, and Jenna’s doubt about whether her mother loved her.

“‘I think grief is like a really ugly couch. It never goes away. You can decorate around it; you can slap a doily on top of it; you can push it to the corner of the room—but eventually, you learn to live with it.’” 

This comment by Thomas exemplifies the book’s focus on grief. It’s also telling commentary on Thomas’s own inability to deal with it. While the end of the book suggests a way to transcend grief, Thomas remains stuck in his own past because he can’t bring himself to live with it.

“I turned to find a young woman behind me, with a flaxen pixie haircut and pale skin, so delicate that my first thought was of a soap bubble destined to burst. […] She looked young, hand-blown, fragile.” 

This comment represents Alice’s first impression of Grace. Although Grace demonstrates a physical sturdiness that belies Alice’s impression, the statement is a true description of the emotional fragility that leads Grace to suicide.

“One of the most amazing things about elephants mourning in the wild is their ability to grieve hard, but then truly, unequivocally, let go. Humans can’t seem to do that.” 

Because Alice can’t seem to stop grieving either the death of her mother or Jenna, she’s trapped in an unbearable emotional stasis. Her study of elephant grief is an attempt to find the secret of their ability to let go.

“Talking to spirits is a dialogue. It takes two. If you’re trying hard and coming up empty, it’s either because of a spirit who won’t communicate or because of a medium who can’t.” 

Serenity continually refers to her inability to communicate with spirits and blames herself for the lack of connection. In this quote, she seems to be offering an alternative to her own failure. A spirit who may not want to speak is equally to blame.

When he kissed me, it was with the desperation of a man who is trying to save himself. When he kissed me, I believed that Thomas was going to be fine. […] I told myself that I could believe all of this, no matter how unfounded or unlikely, without realizing how much that made me like Thomas.” 

Thomas suffers from bouts of delusion that culminate in a total immersion in his own past. With this comment, Alice seems to realize for the first time the degree to which she, herself, is indulging in myriad delusions about the stability of her marriage and the harmlessness of her affair

“There was a string of fingerprints, dark as South Sea pearls, ringing my throat. A bruise is how the body remembers it’s been wronged.” 

Because Alice is in denial about the harm Thomas is causing her, it takes a physical bruise to remind her that harm has been done. She covers the bruise with the blue scarf that becomes so important to Jenna later on. Jenna, too, has been wronged, and she unconsciously wears the scarf as a reminder of the incident she has forgotten.

“‘Do you ever wonder if you fall for a person […] or just the idea of her?’ ‘What I think is that there is no perspective in grief, or in love. How can there be, when one person becomes the center of the universe—either because he has been lost or because he has been found?’” 

Gideon makes a troubling confession about his lack of love for Grace. Alice’s response is equally troubling because it suggests her lack of perspective about Thomas. Both Gideon and Alice commit an even bigger loss of perspective when they indulge in an affair without considering the consequences for everyone around them. 

“‘Sometimes I think there’s no such thing as falling in love. It’s just the fear of losing someone.’” 

This is another comment that reveals Gideon’s ambivalence toward Grace. It also offers a troubling suggestion of the reason why he became involved with Alice. His inability to sort out his own feelings will have dangerous ramifications.

“Although we had shared many stories of how we had met our spouses, that was where the conversation had stayed: at the highest peak of potential, at the moment in those relationships when everything still seemed possible.” 

Both Gideon and Alice have become disillusioned in their choice of partners. However, both remain in a passive state of denial about ending their respective relationships. Instead, they hurl themselves into an affair as a form of distraction from the reality that they refuse to acknowledge.

“I read once […] that when we like someone, our pupils dilate. And that we tend to like people whose pupils are dilated when they look at us. It’s an endless cycle: We want the people who want us.” 

Alice’s comment suggests a narcissistic attachment between lovers. Each one becomes a magic mirror for the other. While she seems to acknowledge the futility of this kind of relationship, she really doesn’t resist falling into its trap, either.

“I wanted the bond between them to be so strong that I could not, even accidentally, find a chink in the wall of their marriage through which I could peek.” 

Alice feels a strong attraction toward Gideon. Rather than resisting that feeling, she wants to arrange a set of circumstances that will prevent her from acting on it. She doesn’t want to assert herself, once again demonstrating a self-damaging passivity.

“It’s no small feat finishing a journey […] But no one ever mentions that once you get there, you still have to turn around and head all the way home.” 

Jenna fails to find any peace of mind in knowing her mother didn’t abandon her. Serenity’s comment suggests that it’s delusional to believe that achieving a goal will fix everything. Heading all the way home foreshadows the moment when Jenna stops looking behind her and goes “home”—into the realm of spirit world. 

“‘Jenna lost her mother. I lost my credibility. Virgil lost his faith. We’ve all got missing pieces. But for a little while, I believed that, together, we might be whole.’” 

With this comment, Serenity encapsulates the motivation that led these three people to find one another. It also suggests her level of despair. Even though her words imply that they’ve failed, her hunch proves true. All three are healed by their interaction.

“We’d had a year of secrets, a year of bliss. What had happened to Grace was the punishment, the payment due. Except nothing had happened to Grace. Grace had been the one to make it happen.” 

Even though Alice sounds as if she accepts the results of her reckless affair, she also seems to want to shift the blame to someone else. While it’s technically true that Grace made her own suicide happen, she would never have ended her life without provocation from Alice and Gideon.

Jenna called it the Leaving Time. She was certain that if she closed her eyes, I would not be here again when she opened them, and no matter what I did or said to convince her otherwise, she sobbed and fought her exhaustion until her body triumphed over her will.” 

This comment is important not only because it reveals the meaning behind the book’s title, but it also demonstrates something about Jenna’s character. She fights with every ounce of strength to keep from losing her connection to her mother. It is sheer willpower that causes her to remain a ghost, until that connection is restored.

“Jenna had needed a mother, and I hadn’t been there. Nevvie had needed a child, so that she could still parent someone. At the time, it seemed a match made in Heaven.” 

Given what happens afterward, Alice’s observation is chilling. Matching Nevvie with Jenna seems a convenient solution at this moment. This same match, at a later point, will result in murder.

“There are an endless number of people who have left a love-shaped hole in the heart of someone else. Eventually someone brave and stupid will come along and try to fill that hole. But it never works, and so instead, that selfless soul winds up with a gap in his heart, too. And so on. It’s a miracle that anyone survives, when so much of us is missing.” 

When Jenna registers her dismay at the number of broken hearts in the world, this is another unconscious admission that she experiences life from the perspective of a ghost. So much of her being is missing. 

“This is what curiosity gets you. You might live on top of the biggest toxic waste dump on the planet, but if you never dig, then all you ever know is that your grass is green and your garden is lush.” 

Jenna offers yet another rueful comment about her own disillusionment at finding the truth. Even though she seems to suggest that ignorance is bliss, her own dogged persistence belies that observation.

“‘But when you open a door, you have to close it behind you. You might say hello, but you also wind up saying good-bye.’” 

Serenity explains the dualistic nature of communication with the beyond. Jenna hasn’t really considered the consequences yet. Since she doesn’t know she’s a ghost, and doesn’t yet realize that saying hello to her mother will also mean that she has to say a final goodbye.

“‘It is a fact universally acknowledged […] that there is no greater force on earth than a mother’s revenge.’” 

Serenity offers an offhanded aphorism about the power of a mother’s revenge, not realizing the lethal truth she is expressing. Nevvie and Alice try to kill one another as both seek revenge for the loss of a child.

“‘I understand why Jenna needs this: Otherwise, it’s not a complete circle, it’s a line, and lines unravel and send you off in directions you never intended to go. Endings are critical.’” 

When Virgil explains his commitment to helping Jenna, he doesn’t yet realize the broader implications of reaching that endpoint. By closing that circle, he won’t merely be solving a mystery, he’ll be saving two lost souls.