It's Trevor Noah: Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood

While the previous set of chapters established the physical, political, and social environments that influenced Noah as he grew up, these chapters center around some of Noah’s primary relationships in childhood. Each of these relationships—with his mom, his childhood dog Fufi, and his father—teaches important lessons and shapes his character as he grows into adulthood.

Throughout his early childhood, his mother is the guiding force in his life. She teaches him critical thinking skills derived from her own difficult personal experience with the absurdities of South African racism, and she gives him the courage to define his own dreams, rather than letting society’s expectations dictate his life. Patricia teaches Noah by example that “there were no limitations on where I could go or what I could do” (75). Rather than let the rules of apartheid force them to live in a “ghetto,” she gets an illegal flat in the city. Refusing to let the racist employment rules dictate her profession, she takes classes to become a typist. Unwilling to live in fear that the police will take her son away, she finds the “cracks in the system” (28) that will let them lead a full life. She takes him to ice rinks and drive-in theatres even though her peers call her “crazy” and warn her that those things are “izinto zabelungu—the things of white people” (76). She teaches Noah that nothing is out of bounds to him just because of his race.

Relatedly, she teaches him never to accept something as true just because someone tells him it is true. This is especially important in a place like apartheid-era South Africa, whose whole political and economic system is built on racist fictions. Emphasizing the difference between External and Internal Perceptions of Reality, she teaches him that he must honor his own full humanity, since the society around him will not do so. Patricia teaches Noah to “free [his] mind” (69) and think critically, which Black and Colored children are not taught in school. She gives him Bible stories to read, but instead of telling him to accept a priest’s interpretation, she asks Noah to come to his own interpretations: “What does it mean to you? How do you apply it to your life?” (70) She doesn’t teach him to be skeptical for skepticism’s sake, but rather, in an environment that wants them to accept the oppression and repression visited upon them, she teaches Noah to think independently and be his own person.

Noah’s childhood dog Fufi teaches him how to respect the people he has relationships with, and to recognize that they are autonomous beings rather than side characters in his life. When discussing Fufi, Noah says, “I raised her. I potty trained her. She slept in my bed. A dog is a great thing for a kid to have. It’s like a bicycle but with emotions” (101). Noah tackles both the pleasant and less pleasant aspects of training Fufi. He receives her love and cuddles but also trains her. She is like a bicycle because it is his responsibility to care for her. But she has “emotions.” She can love him back like he loves her, unlike non-sentient toys. Learning the responsibility of caring for another creature comes quickly to Noah.

The harder lesson is that loving and caring for something does not give you ownership or complete control over its thoughts and behaviors. Even after his mother pays to get Fufi back from the other family, Noah is “heartbroken” that “Fufi loves another boy” (104). Patricia, who knows that Fufi loves Noah too, doesn’t understand why this is affecting him in this way. However, Noah initially believes Fufi’s love for him is compromised by her love for the second family. Noah finally realizes that “Fufi wasn’t cheating on me with another boy. She was merely living her life to the fullest” (104). Fufi is an autonomous creature, and though Noah raised her, trained her, and shelters her, he realizes that “you do not own the thing that you love” (104). Though Noah always loved Fufi, this experience teaches him how to have empathy for those whom he loves—a lesson that extends to his relationships with humans as well.

Noah’s loving but distant relationship with his father, whom he calls Robert, shapes his sense of self throughout his teens. When Noah is 13, Robert moves to Cape Town, and they lose contact. His relationship with Robert at this point is defined by his absence. Noah never suggests that Patricia’s parenting was in any way insufficient or lacking; on the contrary, he makes clear that his childhood with her was full of adventure, excitement, and love. However, Robert’s absence still affects him. Noah has persistent questions about him— “I wonder where he is. Does he think about me? Does he know what I’m doing? Is he proud of me?” (113). Because Noah has unanswered questions, he finds himself filling in the blanks with pessimistic answers. Even though Patricia talks positively and optimistically about his father, Noah finds himself filling “that space with negative thoughts. They don’t care. They’re selfish” (113). He is never bitter or angry toward his father, but he does experience doubt.

When he reconnects with his father at 24, he discovers that Robert has been tracking and scrapbooking every instance in Noah’s career. This discovery fills up “a ten-year gap” in his life (115). Even at 24, receiving that love and support from his father makes Noah feel “an inch taller” (115). There is a difference between not feeling rejected or deserted and feeling “wanted.” While Noah never felt anger toward his father for rejecting him, only after their reunification does he feel chosen. He realizes: “Being chosen is the greatest gift you can give to another human” (115).