It Ain't So Awful, Falafel

Zomorod and her mother go over the many rules for living in the condo. Zomorod reassures her that she’ll make sure that they follow them, including making sure that the trash is put out properly.

Zomorod sleeps on the floor the first night because they donated her bed when they moved. She dreams of having a canopy bed and a beanbag chair, which she sees as a symbol of coolness. She worries her father, Mo, will not want to spend the money to buy it.

The next day, Mo surprises her by letting her pick out whatever furniture she wants at Sears. She gets her canopy bed and matching furniture. However, he says no to the beanbag, saying that they eat beans, not sit on them.

Every night, Zomorod and her family watch comedies and sometimes laugh whenever the laugh track plays, even if they don’t understand why something is funny. Zomorod looks up words in the dictionary.

On the third night in their new condo, a knock comes from the door. Zomorod opens it, and a girl named Cindy introduces herself as their neighbor. Zomorod pauses her narration to explain that she has also decided to go by Cindy after years of people asking why her name is so different and her growing tired of explaining that she is from Iran and where Iran is. She chose to start using Cindy in sixth grade because of Cindy Brady from the television show The Brady Bunch. She hopes that by having a common name in America, people will think about her, rather than about Iran. She notes that there are differences between her and other kids in America, including that she speaks Persian at home, her mom does not know how to make oatmeal raisin cookies, that her only pet has been a goldfish, and all of her friends are from books.

Zomorod says that her name is Cindy too, and the other girl is excited that they have the same name. She then invites Zomorod over.

At Original Cindy’s house (as Zomorod calls her), Zomorod learns about her new friend. She has cats, a lizard, and a dog. Her cats are named after Captain and Tennille, which is Zomorod’s favorite band. Original Cindy is surprised to learn that Zomorod does not know who Mick Jagger is, but Zomorod feels that her new friend thinks she is normal because she has a normal name.

The next day, Zomorod and Original Cindy go to the condo pool. Original Cindy tells her about her horse, Magic. When Zomorod suggests that Magic is so fond of her because she gives Magic treats, Original Cindy is offended. Zomorod tries to recover by discussing how humans are friends with horses in Pippi Longstocking, but Original Cindy isn’t familiar with it. Zomorod then tells her about Black Beauty, but she quickly realizes that Original Cindy doesn’t like talking about books.

Zomorod changes the subject by suggesting they go for a swim. Original Cindy agrees but doesn’t want to get her hair wet. They go in the pool briefly and then return to tan. Original Cindy continues to talk about horses until she decides to leave.

When Zomorod arrives home, her mother berates her for getting sunburned because, in Iran, pale skin is seen as beautiful. Her mother thought Zomorod would swim at the pool, which she believes makes people taller.

Zomorod apologizes but doesn’t mean it, because she thinks that “sometimes there is a price for friendship” (28). She thinks that, by doing something her American friend does, she can make friends. Meanwhile, her mom continues to live as she did in Iran, which is why she does not have friends.

Original Cindy comes over, and Zomorod is mortified when her father uses her real name, but her new friend does not seem to notice. They go to Original Cindy’s house and listen to “Love Will Keep Us Together” on cassette. Then, they play with Original Cindy’s kittens.

Zomorod says that she’s never had a cat, and Original Cindy explains that her parents let her have pets because they’re always at their insurance business. Zomorod does not want their parents to meet each other until she tells Original Cindy her real name and that she’s from Iran. She doesn’t want to be embarrassed. Soon after, Original Cindy offers to show her brother’s room.

Zomorod’s dad asks about the scratch on her hand, warning her to not play with cats.

She thinks about how in Iran, dogs and cats live on the streets. Her dad thinks that pets in America are luckier than most of the humans in the world.

Original Cindy plans to tan every other day until school starts, and Zomorod feels bad for lying to her mom about swimming but joins her friend, nonetheless. One day, she tells Original Cindy that she moved from Compton but is originally from Iran. Original Cindy then tells a story about someone she knows from her horse’s stable who is from Compton. Zomorod is surprised that Original Cindy does not ask any follow-up questions, and when her friend’s story is over, Zomorod suggests that they call themselves the “Sultans of Suntan” (36). Original Cindy asks what a sultan is, and Zomorod explains that they are rulers in Arabia, which Original Cindy connects to Arabian horses, going into another horse story.

Two weeks later, Zomorod can’t find the pool key when Original Cindy arrives. Her mom panics, and Original Cindy says that they’ll go look for it. They leave.

Three days later, Zomorod still hasn’t found the pool key, and she is intimidated by the $50 replacement fee. Her mother is mad at her, and Zomorod is frustrated that her mom doesn’t recognize that she’s a good kid.

Her father comes home and explains that his coworker’s wife always prays to “Saint An-tony” (39) to find lost things. Her mother does not believe it will help, as they don’t have saints in Isla. Though Zomorod has never been in a mosque, her father values kindness as their religion. Zomorod goes upstairs and prays to Saint Anthony to help her find the key. She promises him that she will do a good deed if he does.

When Zomorod and her parents watch the news that evening, they discover that Cinema Rex in Iran was set on fire, killing about five hundred people. Many blame the shah—the king—and Iranians march in the street. They don’t talk about it, but all of them are scared.

The following day, their neighbor stops by and asks to talk to Zomorod’s mother. Zomorod translates for her. Their neighbor, Rhonda, welcomes them to the neighborhood. Rhonda also asks Zomorod if she babysits since she is looking for someone to watch her son, David. Zomorod says that she does.

Zomorod watches David for the first time two days later and thinks about how there is always a relative around to watch children in Iran. They play a game until Zomorod grows tired of it, and then she teaches him about origami, making several paper boats.

When Rhonda comes home, she asks Zomorod when she is available for other babysitting jobs though she does ask her to keep David out of the living room the next time. Zomorod is paid $3.

When Zomorod sees Rhonda again in her driveway, Rhonda thanks her again for watching David, saying that it is nice she can hang out with her friends. Zomorod asks if Rhonda could help her mother make new friends because she does not golf or play tennis like her neighbors do.

Original Cindy and Zomorod miss two weeks of tanning in the month leading up to school starting. On the day before school starts, Zomorod goes over and asks Original Cindy to walk to school with her the next day. The other girl says that she doesn’t want to because she feels like she is the only one making conversation and that she can also tell that Zomorod doesn’t know the words to “Love Will Keep Us Together.”

Zomorod feels like she has no friends, even though she has changed her name.

The next day, Zomorod’s father volunteers to drive her to school. He compliments her choice of an American name, which Zomorod told her parents about the night before. Her mother had not understood.

Lincoln Junior High is overwhelming for Zomorod, and she feels like this is her worst first day at a new school. She arrives at her home room and tells her teacher to call her Cindy. When class starts, her teacher, Ms. Masatani, takes attendance, and Zomorod is grateful she doesn’t have to listen to her mispronounce “Zomorod.” Ms. Masatani steps out of the room to take the attendance sheet to the office and while she is gone, one of the boys writes “So is Venireal Disease” on a poster that reads, “Attitudes Are Contagious” (58).

Ms. Masatani returns and notices the poster. As punishment, she moves up their first test to the upcoming Friday. She also points out that “venereal disease” is spelled wrong, and Zomorod plans to look it up when she returns home.

Zomorod struggles to find her next class and doesn’t have time to the tell her teacher, Miss DeAngelo, about her name. When she sees her struggling with the pronunciation, she pipes in, explaining that she is Cindy, but Miss DeAngelo asks her to pronounce “Zomorod” anyway. Zomorod does, adding that she is from Iran. Miss DeAngelo responds that her family is from Italy, but Zomorod does not see that as the same since, “Being from Iran is like being from Mars” (61). A boy teases her, asking if she’d ever owned a camel.

At lunch time, Zomorod eats alone and thinks about how books have always been her friends. However, Zomorod also wants to make real friends. When she walks home, she feels like everyone else already has friends and that there’s no room for her in their friend groups. She feels like a turtle going into her shell.

On Wednesdays and Fridays, Zomorod has physical education (PE) during first period. When she arrives at her first class, she sees Original Cindy, whom she greets and is ignored by.

Coach McAndrew starts class and explains that they’ll be doing a variety of activities, and Zomorod worries that she’ll get injured during dodgeball or tumbling. They start with tumbling, and the coach tells her that she’ll have to learn by watching the other students. She struggles to do a forward roll on the mat and falls onto the gym floor. The teacher tells her to sit out, and the other students laugh at her.

At lunch, a student named Carolyn comes up and asks Zomorod if she’s the one from Iran. Carolyn says she’s from Norway, but her grandparents moved to the United States. She asks Zomorod to say something in Persian, and Zomorod does, translating that she said, “I don’t own a camel” (68). Carolyn laughs and says to ignore the boy who asked that in their class. Carolyn invites her to join Girl Scouts, eat lunch with her, and go to the library on Fridays since she likes books.

Zomorod tells her mom about Carolyn when she gets home.

At school, Carolyn asks Zomorod about the demonstrations in Iran, surprising her. Carolyn wants to know what’s going on because she wants to be a journalist one day. Zomorod explains that the protests are important because Iranians don’t have a right to freedom of speech, making it illegal to complain about the shah. Carolyn compares it to the United States, where people can write petitions, organize rallies, or just put a bumper sticker advocating against the president or his policies.

As Carolyn asks questions, Zomorod elaborates that Iranians are protesting because of the change in power from Mohammad Mossadegh to the current shah, which was facilitated by the United States and Britain because Mossadegh wouldn’t let them profit from Iran’s oil. Some of the demonstrations also focus on corruption in the government and changes the shah is attempting to make to society.

When the bell rings, they agree to meet again the next day.

The next day, Zomorod reminds Carolyn that “Zomorod” isn’t her real name, which she uses in Miss DeAngelo’s class. As they begin to discuss schooling in Iran, Zomorod admits that it’s strange to her “that being smart in America is not cool” (76). She recounts how, in fifth grade, she got a perfect score on a test that she was supposed to take at the end of the year, but she had taken at the beginning. Carolyn says that she thinks it’s cool, but Zomorod says that people are more focused on looks or being good at sports.

Carolyn asks where she wants to go to college, saying that she wants to go to Stanford or Occidental for journalism. Zomorod feels grateful again that she is being asked real questions about Iran.

On Saturday, Zomorod goes over to Carolyn’s house. On the way there, her father practices his English, wondering if he should go by “George” (his name is Mohsen) because everyone knows who George Washington is. Zomorod tells him not to talk about Iran because Carolyn and her parents already know about it.

When they get to the door, Mohsen drops off Zomorod, introducing himself as either “Mo or George” and stutters slightly through Mrs. Williams’s name (81).

Carolyn shows Zomorod around, and Zomorod is excited to see her collection of books and her beanbag chair. She also meets Carolyn’s brother Matt, who reminds Zomorod of her cousin Mehrdad.

To Zomorod, the best part is when Carolyn explains how she’d told her mother about Zomorod’s perfect score on the math test in fifth grade, and Mrs. Williams says, “Bravo!” (84). Zomorod loves being there.

Zomorod starts going over to Carolyn’s house a few days after school each week. They watch their Zenith-brand color TV while Zomorod’s family has a black-and-white one.

One day, while they watch TV, the news coverage turns to the demonstrations in Iran, and Carolyn asks about the shah. Zomorod explains that he wears a crown, and he likely never talks to ordinary people. The wealthy people who are close to him experience a great deal of privilege and can just enjoy life, but those who are poor aren’t able to escape poverty, even if they work twice as hard.

Carolyn and her mother talk about how the president of the United States is different because he’s elected and has term limits. Zomorod recounts how her father is amazed that there is no fighting when the presidents change. Carolyn then asks why the shah hasn’t stopped the demonstrations, and Zomorod says that even though the secret police are still jailing and torturing protesters, people continue to demonstrate. Zomorod agrees that Americans are lucky because the president does not use fear to rule like the shah does.

A few weeks later, Carolyn and Zomorod are on their way to Zomorod’s first Girl Scouts meeting. When they arrive, Zomorod is relieved that Original Cindy isn’t there, because the troop has eighty girls in it. She meets a girl named Rachel, who sympathizes with her for how hard it is being the new kid. They agree to hang out and exchange phone numbers.

As Zomorod sees how Carolyn knows most of the girls, she is amazed by the idea of living in the same place for your whole life, which is not a feeling she will ever have.

Mrs. Williams invites Zomorod to stay for dinner, and she calls her mom to get permission, excited at the prospect of eating tacos for dinner. Her mom often makes breakfast foods. As dinner concludes, Zomorod asks if Mrs. Williams will do something with her mom since she has no friends, and Mrs. Williams thinks to invite her to the next PTA meeting.

At home, Zomorod’s mom is not excited about hanging out with Mrs. Williams, saying that she wants to learn English first. Zomorod tries to explain that she can learn by talking with Americans, but her mom insists that she does not want to.

Zomorod calls Carolyn and says that her mom is too busy and to thank Mrs. Williams for offering to go to the PTA meeting. She explains that her mom is like a plant that thrives in some places, not others.

Zomorod then gives up on trying to find a friend for her mom.

Zomorod remembers how her mother has spent much of her time in America being sad. She spends all of her time watching TV. Zomorod had hoped that would change when they moved to Newport Beach.

Her dad tells her to be patient and that it will take time for her mom to adapt to the United States. He says it’s better to be an American in Iran than an Iranian in America. In Iran, there are movies in English and clubs for English speakers, but there are no communities for Persian speakers.

One time, they ran into a group of Persians at the mall, and Zomorod compares it to two polar bears encountering one another in Hawaii.

In drama class, Zomorod reads A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams, and she really enjoys the play. She relates to how the main character, Blanche DuBois, feels like she is reliant on strangers, thinking that is how it is for people moving from different countries.

Two weeks later, people present their reports on the play. The first person is Mary Howard, who mistakenly pronounces “desire” as “Desiree,” and a boy makes fun of her. After class, Zomorod goes up to Mary and pretends that she thought it was pronounced that way too. They shake hands, and Mary tells her to call her “Howie” since there are so many Marys in their class.

David’s father, Dr. Klein, stops over to return a ladder he borrowed. Zomorod goes with her father and Dr. Klein to the garage when Dr. Klein asks about how the president is always talking about human rights. He asks for Mo’s opinion. Mo goes on to talk about how Americans don’t see human rights the same way since they often make fun of the president, as when the news kept showing the clip of President Ford bumping his head on a helicopter and calling him a “klutz.” No one, he says, would ever do this in Iran about the shah.

Dr. Klein thanks him for his perspective.

On Sunday, a man appears at the Yousefzadehs’ door, holding their lost pool key. He introduces himself as their neighbor, Skip.

Zomorod’s mom decides to make him a plate of stuffed grape leaves as a thank you. On her way there, Zomorod throws out the plate of grape leaves because she thinks Americans will find them weird. She feels bad and decides to go to Skip’s house anyway. There, she discovers that Brock, who made fun of her on the first day of school, is Skip’s son. As she leaves, Skip embarrasses Brock by saying, “See you later, alligator. Or as Brock likes to say, ‘See you soon, raccoon!’” (113).

When she gets home, Zomorod tells her mom that Skip says thank you.

Halloween is Zomorod’s favorite holiday. She decides to go as a hobo and goes trick or treating with Carolyn and Rachel.

Zomorod remembers how, in second grade, she had not known to dress up for Halloween and her teacher had quickly put together a hippie costume for her. That night, her family had not expected trick or treaters and gave out whatever they had in their apartment.

When she arrives at Carolyn’s, she learns that her friend is dressed as a box of Arm and Hammer baking soda. Rachel is a black cat.

The next morning, Zomorod feels like Newport Beach has become a home for her. She’s happy to have friends and likes her class. She is sad when she learns that the sons of her dad’s former coworker, Mr. Shooshtari, are coming to stay with them for two weeks because they want to come to college in America. It will mean extra work for Zomorod and her mom. The boys speak some English and their names are Pooya and Pooyan. When Zomorod tells Carolyn about it, she describes how in Iranian culture, there is a custom called taarof, which means always being polite and doing favors when people ask.

Zomorod goes with her father to pick up the boys from the airport. Zomorod quickly grows tired of the niceties, especially as she had to both help make and then clean up from dinner. She thinks that she hates taarof.

Zomorod has to take the brothers, whom she calls the “Poo brothers,” to the pool. They hope they will meet girls at the pool, and Pooya decides to tell them his name is Elvis, since Elvis Presley was so popular. Pooyan opts to use “John,” after John Wayne.

At dinner, Zomorod asks Pooya about his necklace, which his mother gave him, a necklace with charms shaped like Iran and a turquoise stone where Tehran is. Pooyan wears one too, and they’re meant to remind them where they are from. Zomorod thinks that it’s silly because it’s impossible to forget where you’re from. She’d never forget her family in Iran, Persian food, or that the Caspian Sea is the most amazing place. When her family drove there, she was struck by how different the air smelled from the air in Abadan, which smelled like gasoline. That scent will always remind her of home. Meanwhile, when Zomorod’s family first visited the beach in California, they were surprised how different it was from the Caspian Sea. When they drove home, Mo was surprised by how one could miss a place and not just the people there.

On the fourth day of the brothers’ visit, Zomorod’s mom has her help to fold the boys’ laundry. When Zomorod describes it to Carolyn, she talks about the Persian expression ghadam ru cheshm, which means that Iranians will do whatever a guest needs to make them happy.

The brothers also ask Mo to take them to car dealerships that weekend because they want to get a Camaro. Her dad thinks they should get a more practical vehicle, but Zomorod knows they won’t listen. Still, she is happy that they will be out of the house because she can go to Carolyn’s. However, her mother wants help in the kitchen both days.

The Poo Brothers decide to apply to UCLA, meaning that they are leaving Zomorod’s house. She is thrilled they are gone.

The next day, Zomorod’s mother asks her to take some fesenjoon with radish roses to their neighbors because the brothers were loud, and the neighbors, who share a wall with them, did not complain. The boy she babysits comments that the fesenjoon look like mud, and Zomorod assures him they don’t taste like that. Zomorod does not think they will try them.

As Thanksgiving approaches, Zomorod tries to convince her family to order a premade meal. Her mom disagrees, insisting that Persian food is better. When her dad arrives home, she convinces him to buy a pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce by making the holiday seem like it is part of her education in America.

On Thanksgiving, they dismiss the cranberry sauce as having gone bad because it is solid but enjoy the pie. Zomorod’s parents initially say it is too sweet, but they eat the whole pie.

Zomorod compares Christmas in Newport Beach with Christmas in Compton, saying that the former is more decorated. Her house is not decked with Christmas items, as her family doesn’t celebrate Christmas. She recalls how, in third grade, she asked to go see Santa at the mall so she could ask for an Easy Bake Oven. Her mom said that the man at the mall isn’t Santa, making Zomorod cry.