Instructions for Dancing

“I wish I were as unaffected by the divorce as she and Danica are. I wish I could bake with them, carefree. I wish I could go back to being the girl who thought her parents, especially her dad, could do no wrong. To being the girl who hoped to have a love just like theirs when she grew up. I used to believe in happily-ever-afters because they had one. I want to go back and unknow all the things I know now. I can’t unknow that Dad cheated on Mom. I can’t unknow that he left us all for another woman. Mom misses the version of me that used to love those books. I miss her too.”

One of the novel’s conflicts, Evie’s drastic shift in character and belief system due to her father’s affair, is established at the end of the first chapter. Evie’s wish to go back in time shows self-awareness, and sets up major themes.

“He [X] raises a single eyebrow and I almost laugh. For a second, I feel like I’m a character in one of my old romance novels. Raising a single eyebrow is such a Classic Romance Guy Characteristic. I grab my bike and head out and tell myself I’m not in a romance novel.”

Evie’s instant attraction to X and framing of him as a romantic male lead show she’s not over her obsession with the romance genre. She denies and suppresses her feelings for X, which becomes a pattern, by stating she’s not in a romance novel, that she doesn’t believe in love anymore.

“Given enough time, all love stories turn into heartbreak stories. Heartbreak = love + time.”

Evie reflects on her visions, believing they’re teaching her that love always leads to heartbreak. She thinks her old romance novels ended too soon and that with time, their couples would have been driven apart. Her equation simplifies love, heartache, and the myriad of emotions both create. A major theme of the novel, Evie focuses on the ending of relationships rather than their sweet beginnings and middles.

“‘Forty-three years your grandparents have been married, yes?’ [Fifi asks.] ‘Sounds about right,’ [X] says. ‘You live with them. Tell me something, are they so lovey-dovey at home too?’ X nods and laughs. ‘Never seen anything like it either. They’re the real deal. My pops says they’ve been like that his whole life. They won the love lottery when they found each other.’ I make a note to myself to avoid seeing them kiss at all costs. I don’t want to know how it ends for them.”

Yoon uses this dialogue to establish not only X’s living situation with his grandparents, but to highlight the fairy-tale love Archibald and Maggie share. Evie’s note to avoid watching them kiss foreshadows her doing so later, a vision that proves the most impactful (besides that of her and X). Her sensitivity is also revealed by her wanting to avoid seeing the affectionate couple’s end.

“[Fifi] turns to me. ‘Technique is not terrible,’ she says. ‘But you are smoke without fire. I’m sure she’s right. Still I want to point out that a) smoke is very hot and b) people die just as much from smoke inhalation as they do from actual flames. However, there’s no way of saying any of that will help my case.”

Fifi’s unique metaphors make Evie and X think more deeply about their dancing, as they must figure out what she means. Evie’s cynical yet humorous voice comes through in her internal thoughts, building her characterization.

“Strangely, I feel relieved. I know I’m going to kiss him. Honestly, nothing could stop me from kissing him. I’ve wanted to kiss him for a while now. Probably since our LaLaLand tour. [...] The only reason I haven’t yet is that I’m afraid. Because of my dad and the divorce. Because of the visions. What if I see our future? What if it’s not a good one? But I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I lean in and tilt my face up.”

Taking risks is one of Evie’s conflicts, which is showcased during her first kiss with X. With her straightforward voice, Evie explains her fear, even citing the visions which foreshadow her seeing X’s future.

“People are always saying stuff like ‘Take a chance on love.’ ‘Love is worth the risk.’ Etc. But the visions have taught me differently. Dad getting engaged to the woman he cheated on Mom with taught me differently. Yes, falling in love requires a leap of faith. But people only jump because they don’t know that the ground looks like. They believe their landing will be soft. That the ground is covered in…feathers, down pillows, fluffy baby blankets, the shaggiest shag carpeting. But I’ve seen the ground. It is covered in lethal spikes fashioned from the bones of other jumpers. The fall is not at all survivable.”

With casual words and phrases like “the shaggiest shag carpeting,” Evie’s teenage voice and pessimistic perspective are made clear. Her insight from her visions and her father’s affair have shaped her beliefs, though these end up changing later. Her metaphor for love not being survivable foreshadows her falling for X and him dying to an unknown heart condition.

“‘...look at all the time you’re missing with them right now. People don’t come back, Evie. The time we get is the time we get.’ [X’s] voice is urgent, like he really needs me to understand what he’s trying to tell me. He’d give anything to have another day with Clay.”

X pleading with Evie to reconsider pushing away her friends shows his caring, thoughtful nature. His experience with Clay’s death has shaped his “say yes” philosophy and belief in enjoying every moment he’s given. The words “urgent” and “need” are particularly evocative of X’s passion in trying to teach Evie to enjoy her time with loved ones. His influence pushes Evie to repair her friendships, ultimately leading to her living in the moment instead of dreading the future.

“In the end all I could come up with was how much I loved playing guitar and singing and being onstage. [...] And once you figure out what you love the most, you don’t really have time for anything else.”

X’s sharing of his dream of being a rockstar shows his positivity and passion. He believes in seizing every day and spending time only on what you love most, a lesson Evie learns to value as well.

“X: Reading cupcakes and kisses again

Me: Can’t get enough huh?

X: The girl just said her guy smells like cinnamon chocolate buttercream

Me: Very specific

X: What do I smell like?

Me: You’re odorless

X: Nah

X: I smell like rock and roll

X: And man sweat

X: And the blood of my vanquished enemies

X: You there?

Me: Laughing

X: Take your time.”

The use of texts enriches the novel with another mode of communication, and in this case, establishes Evie and X’s flirty banter. As they get closer, their relationship and inside jokes flourish. The author balances heavy topics, like divorce and grief, with humor like this.

“‘Tango is a dance of desire. For the three minutes of tango, there is nothing else but him. While you are dancing, you belong to him.’ [...] But the truth is, I understand what [Fifi’s] saying. I am holding back. I am afraid to give in completely to how I feel about X. ‘Not worry,’ she says to me as we’re leaving. ‘Tango comes for everyone. You will learn to let go eventually.’”

The symbolic tango, a dance of desire, release, and letting go, is the hardest for Evie to master because it relates to her struggle of giving into love. Until Evie accepts her love for X rather than suppressing it, and becomes vulnerable enough to fall, she doesn’t master the dance. Only during the final competition, when Evie dances with her heart and tells X that she loves him, does she conquer this dance.

“We move on to salsa and then to Hustle, trading partners so Martin doesn’t feel like a fifth wheel. We drink more and dance more and we’re loud and tipsy and silly and all so in love with each other it makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Happiness is tricky. Sometimes you have to fight for it. Sometimes though—the best times—it sneaks up behind you, wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you close.”

Evie and X teaching her friends to dance creates a lighthearted, loving tone. The mix of emotions, wanting to cry and laugh, portrays the complexity of being human. The author personifies happiness as being able to sneak up and wrap itself around you, to make the feeling palpable.

“It’s only been a few minutes, but I can already tell that Shirley’s mom is the kind of person who loves big. She’s proud and fierce and sweet too. It’s obvious how much she loves Shirley. It’s obvious she’ll love me and Danica big too. There’s a part of me that would like to get to know her, that would like to feel the weight of that big love. But another part of me resents being claimed. My family was just the right size before. I already have two actual grandmothers. I don’t need another one. I don’t want another one. And I know what I’m feeling isn’t exactly fair, but that doesn’t make it any less true.”

Evie ponders complicated dynamics at Shirley’s bridal shower. Her emotions are mixed, showing her teenage psyche. She has the self-awareness to recognize she’s not being fair, which speaks to her maturity but also the ways she has to go to better understand her father, Shirley, and Danica (and their shared ability to move on and pursue love).

“Dad used to say that there was a word for every emotion, but I don’t think he’s right about that. I don’t have a single word for the way Archibald and Maggie’s vision makes me feel. Wonder and fright and astonishment and joy and terrible strange sadness and blossoming hope. Love is too small, too singular a word for the feeling it’s trying to hold. Just one word isn’t enough, so I want to use them all. Sometimes I think love is the reason language was invented.”

Evie’s reaction to Archibald and Maggie’s love story is visceral, encompassing too many emotions to name. Her insights on language, like her professor father, show that she’s creative and thoughtful. She wants to search for a word to express the breathtaking vision, one that proves true love exists and that love’s ending isn’t the most important part of one’s life.

“Maybe the whole point of love is to make more of itself.”

Evie continues to analyze Archibald and Maggie’s vision and true love as a whole. The couple’s love expanded into a family, reaching Evie through X. Evie’s assertion gives a thoughtful look on love and its ability to spread joy to others, that one couple can create and spread more love in the world. This is a contrasting idea to Evie’s cynicism, showing her character growth.

“The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s death.”

Upon receiving a vision of X’s death in 10 months, Evie grieves. She comes to the conclusion that death, loss, is love’s counterpart and can’t bring herself to face it.

“Of all the texts, Fifi’s is the only that almost gets me to feel something: today I’m so proud of you. finally you dance with your heart.”

Because Fifi is a strict dance instructor, her softer side is a surprise to Evie and readers. Evie can’t believe Fifi is proud of her, the latter’s words about dancing with her heart relating to Evie finally being open with X. Ironically, she’s regressed in her progress at this point, avoiding everyone after seeing a vision of X‘s death.

“‘If you get very, very lucky in this life, then you get to love another person so hard and so completely that when you lose them, it rips you apart. I think the pain is the proof of a life well lived and loved,’ [Dad says]. [...] ‘I can’t answer your questions, Evie. I don’t know why we lose the people we love and how we’re expected to go on after we lose them. But I know that to love is human. We can’t help ourselves. [...] Love is the question and the answer and the reason to ask in the first place. It’s everything.’”

Yoon drafted these lines of dialogue early in her writing, and feels they are the heart of the novel. Evie’s father reflects on love, loss, and the pain and triumphs we feel when we love someone completely. His thoughts spur Evie to reconsider her own, pushing her to attend his wedding and enjoy what little time she has with X.

“Sometimes I want to call and tell [X] the truth. But telling him would be cruel. Just because I’m burdened with this awful knowing doesn’t mean he should be. I remember the round of Tipsy Philosophicals we played at our first bonfire, the one where we first kissed. I asked everyone if they’d want to know when and where they were going to die. X said no. He said it would take the fun out of everything. I said yes, that it was always good to be prepared. Sometimes I want to call him and tell him the other truth, which is that I love him and always will. But telling him that would also be cruel. What would I say? I love you, but you’re going to die, so I can’t love you?”

Evie shows emotional growth in considering X’s feelings. Unlike with Sophie and Cassidy, Evie doesn’t tell X that they’re going to break up, or share her turmoil over his death. The ethical, philosophical questions surrounding knowing one’s death raise the stakes of her conflict with X.

“The problem with broken hearts isn’t that they kill you. It’s that they don’t.” 

During Evie’s feelings of sadness after seeing X’s death, she finds she can’t cope with this fate. This quote shows the depth of her sorrow, as she thinks it’d be better to die than endure her grief.

“I stare until I’m not just looking at her. I’m actually seeing her. I see my mom, strong and stoic and capable. I see my mom, soft, brave and vulnerable. Everyone says there’s a moment in your life when your parent becomes more than just a parent and becomes a real person. They never said how scary that moment would be. And wonderful too.”

Grace finally opening up about divorcing her husband sparks Evie seeing her as a complex, dynamic person with her own feelings and flaws; she didn’t know her mother was suppressing pain and ultimately chose to leave her father. Grace’s honesty makes Evie view her mother in a new light. This new phase in their mother-daughter relationship strengthens their bond and shows that Evie can handle difficult truths, mirroring the truths she’s seen in her visions.

“Mom said just because a thing ends doesn’t make the thing any less real. Just because everything is different now doesn’t mean that we didn’t love each other once. Maybe we will again.”

Evie takes her mother’s message and applies it not only to her parents’ happy years of marriage but her friendships with Martin, Sophie, and Cassidy. The friend group is going their separate ways for college, but Evie realizes their love was still worthwhile. Evie becomes hopeful, cherishing her friends regardless of whether or not they reconnect.

“I want to know—I want her to tell me—how I’m supposed to live without my heart inside my body. My anger leaves me all at once. I just want to know why. ‘Why did you give me the power to see heartbreak? Please tell me.’ ‘But that’s not the power I gave you,’ she says. ‘What then?’ ‘I gave you the power to see love. The heartbreak is just one part of it. It’s not the all of it. Why did you only focus on the ending?’ ‘Because it’s the most important part.’ ‘Is it?’ she asks. ‘It wasn’t supposed to be a curse, Evie. It was supposed to be a gift.’”

The mysterious woman answers Evie’s question about her visions, and the latter is shocked. Evie misinterpreted the woman’s intent, as she was meant to see love, not fixate on heartache—which speaks to the themes of giving in to love and appreciating time spent with loved ones. The girl reframes her perspective, instead focusing on the visions’ positive purpose.