In West Mills

“Try to steer somebody from a harm they love, but seem like the more they get steered away, the more they want the harm.” 

Otis Lee’s thoughts about guiding a loved one towards or away from a particular outcome apply to his relationships with Essie, Knot, Breezy, and others. Although he tries to move each of them to act in ways that he prefers, he learns that sometimes the very act of interference can backfire, causing the individual in question to resist even more strongly. Otis Lee shows this same tendency when Pep tries to convince him not to worry so much about Knot, and he doubles down on his attempts to care for her.

“‘I got secrets in here’—she pointed to her left temple—‘that’ll make folk hate me if they got out. My own flesh and blood. […] But you know somethin’, Knot? Sometimes it’s best to keep ’em locked inside. Secrets. Best for everybody sometimes.” 

Noni tells Knot that she has secrets, not realizing that Knot knows how she deceived Otis Lee. Although Knot recognizes the problems Noni’s secrets cause, she is loath to admit the same of her own secrets. Although she, like Noni, claims that keeping secrets protects others, she is most concerned with protecting herself.

“It was the prettiest, and most dangerous, glimpse Knot had ever taken in her life.” 

When Fran is born, Knot is caught between a desire to love and care for her and a desire to give her away so that she can receive a better upbringing than Knot can provide. The danger of looking is that she might choose to keep the child, as Otis Lee and others want her to. Yet Knot remains convinced throughout her life that giving away Fran and Eunice was the right thing to do.

“He say readin’ ought to be something folk do ‘cause they enjoy it. Not ‘cause they scared of what might happen to ‘em if they can’t.” 

A voracious reader, Knot fails to understand why Otis Lee would not learn to read since, as she points out, learning to read can open additional opportunities for Black people. Here, Pep explains why Otis Lee considers such thinking backwards. While reading is a meaningful skill for many, a world that requires more of Black people to attain financial security remains unjust. Otis Lee never advances beyond a rudimentary reading level and only manages to meet his needs later in life with help from Breezy.

“Knowing she wasn’t ready didn’t mean she liked not being ready. But it felt safe to her—the only kind of safe Knot felt all right with. Safe by not having to worry about hurting a child’s feelings, as her mother had hurt hers. Safe by not becoming someone’s wife just to figure out, years later, that she didn’t want him. Safe to get a bit of joy from the moonshine—something that couldn’t hurt her or be hurt by her.” 

Although Knot genuinely believes that she is doing what is best for her children by giving them away, she also has selfish motives for doing so. Many of Knot’s fears are shaped by her own family life. She especially fears becoming like her mother, whom Knot both resents and pities. Knot’s immediate response in the face of such fears is avoidance, which explains why she is so angry when she finds out that Pep revealed her as Fran and Eunice’s mother: She now feels pressure to play the role in some form.

“Then be satisfied with us bein’ all right, and turn Knot and ev’rybody else’s mess loose.” 

Pep feels that Otis Lee worries too much about Knot at the expense of his own family. To her, Knot is a neighbor and a friend, but Otis Lee sees Knot more as a sister, a seeming replacement for Essie. Though Otis Lee is occasionally embarrassed by suggestions that he cares too much for Knot, he never falters in his strong brotherly love for her, and she comes to depend on him.

“You show up at my home full of milk, with no husband by your side and no child in your arms, and I’m supposed to just let you in? With all the work I put into raising you to be something?” 

Dinah views parenting as a contractual exchange; she puts in effort and expects her children to meet certain obligations in return. When Knot returns home after bearing a child out of wedlock, Dinah feels that she broke this contract and therefore no longer merits her place in the family. Although the letter Knot receives asking her to separate herself from them is signed by her father, she comes to believe that Dinah must have played a key role in convincing her father to push her away.

“Things always had to be proper and elegant for Dinah, Knot remembered. Well, it had to look that way to other folk.”

Dinah is more concerned with appearance than substance. Her determination to preserve her family’s good reputation in the public eye dictates her actions toward Knot. Knot’s occasionally crude language and behavior can be seen as acts of rebellion against the social codes imparted by Dinah.

“I’d thank ya kindly if you tell me where Pa is. Somebody who got sense ‘nuff in his head to know that just ‘cause his daughter ain’t perfect, it don’t mean she evil.”

Although Knot expects to receive more compassionate treatment from her father than she does from her mother, she is shocked by the severity of his response. Knot differentiates between being evil and making mistakes, even as her parents apparently confuse the two. Dinah’s parents’ response to her behavior contrasts with the those offered by Otis Lee, who tries to help her, and Valley, who accepts her as she is, leaving readers to decide which view is most helpful and appropriate.

“‘This the way I spoke ‘fore I went to school,’ Knot’s pa said, ‘and it ain’t spoil my education nary a bit. You talk how you want to talk, and I’ll talk how I want to talk.’” 

Knot’s father is well educated, as evident in the literature he reads to Knot and his success as a dentist. Despite his awareness of elevated and formal patterns of speech, he continues to use the common vernacular he grew up speaking. This reflects his desire not to aggrandize himself or estrange himself from others. It also pushes back against prejudicial notions that speaking a certain way corresponds with having higher or lower intelligence.

“Knot walked to the store where she would catch the bus back to the place she now thought of as home, where she knew Otis Lee Loving would tell her she always had family as long as he lived.” 

Though they are not related until their children marry, Knot and Otis Lee consider each other as family. The basis for this understanding is a deep, consistent, but not romantic love for the other, though each expresses it differently. By this definition, Knot’s family also includes several other close friends.

“And Knot still felt—and couldn’t imagine herself ever feeling differently—that letting that baby girl go was the most grown-person thing she’d ever done.” 

From an outside perspective, Knot’s decision to give away her children might seem cowardly or lazy, but she considers it the most mature decision of her life. As difficult as it is for her to see her children go, she recognizes it to be in their best interests. Her confidence that she did the right thing only solidifies over time as she sees Fran and Eunice prosper in their adoptive families.

“While she had been happy to be back near the old-faithful Otis Lee, Valley was the one with whom she had the most fun. He had always accepted Knot just as she was, and she offered him the same courtesy in return.” 

For various reasons, Knot and Valley are both social outsiders. Banding together, each offers the other emotional security and acceptance not always found elsewhere, not even from Otis Lee. This frees them to have more a more pleasant time together, unconcerned with trying to fix or change the other.

“Otis Lee thought it awfully sad that a fifteen-year-old flirting with a man’s wife, calling that man and his wife n******, and disturbing their business ‘came with the territory.”

Otis Lee’s disappointment at Brock Manning’s mild response to the racist behaviors of White teenagers shows just how commonplace these behaviors were, and how it was possible to become accustomed to them. Throughout the novel, Otis Lee hears of civil rights protests and developments elsewhere, but change is slow to reach the small, rural town of West Mills, though there are some hopeful signs. This scene also reflects a horrific double standard, in that if a 15-year-old Black youth flirted with a White man’s wife, many Whites would see that as grounds for lynching.

“But if Knot had been asked to name a winning feeling, it would not be confusion, betrayal, or guilt. Hurt. Hurt is the winner. The same hurt that urged her to spend less time with Valley, less time visiting the Lovings. […] To spend more time at her kitchen table with a bottle and a chilled glass.”

Knot sends many letters to her father over the years but never receives a response. Here, she identifies the resulting hurt she feels as a significant influence in her life. Ironically, her sense of isolation from her family pushes her to drink more, something that her father warned her against after struggling with alcoholism himself. 

“Knot was of the belief that some secrets, if not most, should remain as such. Sometimes the not knowing was a hell of a lot better, she told Valley.” 

Knot spends much of her life committed to keeping secrets, convinced that telling them will only cause pain and disruption. This tendency is in keeping with her general defensiveness and use of other avoidance and escape tactics, such as drinking. Valley, Fran, Rose, and others believe that such secrets impose more burdens than they are worth, and Knot comes to agree with them in the end. 

“Is it too much to ask for me to live my life the way I want and have folk treat me regular?” 

Knot occasionally longs for what she describes as a “regular” life, like the ones she sees her peers and neighbors living. At the same time, she wants to continue doing as she pleases, even when doing so does not conform to socially acceptable patterns. This question, then, allows her to shift the blame away from herself if and when her actions prevent her from having “regular” relationships with others.

“I made another promise to somebody else. To my son. The day I reach ‘tweenst my own legs and pull him outta me by his shoulders, I made a promise to him that long as I draw breath in and out of my body, I was gon’ look out for him. Do whatever I got to do that’s good for him.” 

Pep views parenthood in a fundamentally different way from Dinah, who expects Knot to live a certain way due to the effort Dinah invested in raising her. Instead, Pep sees parenthood as introducing an unconditional obligation for her to act in the best interest of her child. Although Knot objects to some of the actions Pep takes as a result, including telling Fran and Eunice that Knot is their mother, she agrees with Pep’s view of parenthood in principle, since she continues to feel a sense of duty towards both of her daughters throughout her life.

“Ain’t fair that Knot get to live her life any way she want and ev’rybody else got ‘tend to her business, keep her children alive and well and happy. […] Knot needs to hurt, Otis Lee. I know that ain’t right to say, but she need to feel some hurt.”

Here, Pep voices her opinion that Knot needs to face the consequences of her actions. As Pep sees it, Knot wants to enjoy the privileges of parenthood without paying the price. By revealing Knot as Fran and Eunice’s mother, she hopes to induce Knot to reckon with her past more fully and to take a more active role as mother and grandmother in the future.

“But when Essie came here and tol’ you ‘bout how she got sent off, as hurt as you was ‘bout the lies you got told all your life, you was freed up some. You might notta known, but I saw it. You was better when Essie left here.” 

Pep insists that Otis Lee is better off knowing the truth—or at least a bit more of it—than he was living in ignorance. Though coming to terms with the truth proves painful, it also sets him free from the deceptions and unfounded assumptions of the past. The tragedy is that it takes him so long to discover and accept the truth that it is too late for him either to make up with Essie or process what he learned with Knot.

“But to whom, or what, would she turn when people—real people—let her down?”

After Pep chastises Knot for living a selfish life while letting others care for her children, Knot considers destroying the books and drinks that she loves. She stops short of doing so when she fails to come up with any healthier way to respond to inevitable disappointments. Rather than undergo a dramatic change, Knot makes gradual progress after Pratt’s return provides her with additional emotional support and health concerns limit her drinking.

“I think it’s nice of you to worry ‘bout the girls. They yours. But you just as well turn it loose. They been doin’ that dance for a long time. Probably don’t even know how to do it no different. […] They all right, Knot.”

Knot comes to feel a sense of parental concern and responsibility relatively late in life, since she is not involved in the raising of her children during their youth. By the time she becomes more involved in their lives, they are adults with children of their own. Here, Valley commends Knot for taking an interest in their lives but warns her against going from extreme detachment to extreme intervention).

“But they were doing things their way, Knot believed, just as she had. And she figured may she’d passed something good along to them after all. They’d be all right.”

Shortly before her death, Knot accepts the fact that she cannot solve her children’s problems for them. Rather than imply that Knot’s daughters lack challenges, her confidence that they will be “all right” conveys her faith in their ability to work through their problems in their own way. Though she doesn’t specify what qualities or wisdom she thinks she left them, perhaps they acquired some of their fierce independence from her.