How to Age Disgracefully

Art is a 75-year-old British white man, a second protagonist and point-of- view character. Art, like Daphne, has been living in a sort of isolation since his family left him, though Art, unlike Daphne, retains one loyal friend in the form of William, the neighbor who has been Art’s friend since their school days. This enduring friendship shows that Art is capable of loyalty and deep feelings for another person. Art has lived for over 30 years with the guilt and shame of not being there for his family in a time of crisis. He was having an affair with another woman and out of touch when one of his daughters, Katie, fell ill and died from meningitis. When she found out why he’d disappeared, Art’s wife, Jill, took their remaining daughter, Kerry, Katie’s twin, and left Art. He tried but never managed to reconcile with Jill before her death of cancer 10 years previously. He has only been able to find Kerry through social media, which is how he learned he has grandchildren. Art longs to reconnect with his daughter, but he also understands why she might never be able to forgive him.

This self-loathing is part of why Art steals. Stealing was initially an action made in anger and retaliation, but has become a compulsion he fears he can’t control. At first he justified stealing because shopkeepers made him feel invisible, or retailers were not quite honest; one of his particular targets is a shop where the manager displayed prejudice toward William. Art has hidden his stolen items in Kerry’s room, in the wardrobe and beneath her mattress, almost as if he is trying to fill the distance between them. When he stuffs his coat with stolen items at the supermarket, it is in some ways a cry for help—Art is asking to be noticed and for someone to do something about his stealing. When Daphne orchestrates the effort to clear out the wardrobe and his house, Art feels an enormous sense of relief and gratitude, as if he’s been cleansed from the errors of his past.

Once his living area is transformed, Art is better able to deal with his current reality, including disappointment over his lackluster acting career and worries over how to pay for his house and bills. Rather than self-destruction, he chooses to reach out to help others in return, like helping punish Lydia’s cheating husband and training Maggie the dog for a chance to win a prize and save the Mandel Community Center. Art’s warming feelings toward Daphne, whom he first regarded as an adversary, demonstrates the change in his character over the course of the novel.

Lydia is the third protagonist and point-of-view character. She is 53 and experiencing menopause and an empty nest, missing her two daughters who have gone away to university.

Lydia grew up in a traditional middle-class family and has recreated this family structure in her marriage to Jeremy. She gave up her job as a food stylist to be a wife and mother, but now finds that her husband has grown distant and cruel. It comes as a blow to learn Jeremy is having an affair with a younger and more attractive woman, but the larger blow is that Lydia realizes she has lost all faith or pride in herself. She isn’t certain she even likes herself anymore. She turns to self-help books but finds them less useful than the support she comes to receive from her new friends in the senior group.

While Lydia feels intimidated, anxious, and a failure at the beginning of the novel, she grows in confidence as she comes to have friendships and personal interests. Rather than trying to be the leader of the senior group, Lydia accepts that she is the one learning from these more experienced, interesting adults. She does her best to use her facilitation skills but also accepts mentorship and instruction from Daphne. Lydia is kind and considerate at heart, and that wins the support of her friends.

As she begins to recognize her own skills and regain her confidence, she learns to like herself again. It hurts her deeply that Jeremy has betrayed and then abandoned her, but once she feels back on her feet, she realizes she doesn’t even like the man much. She has found a sense of purpose in running the senior group and adapts to this new phase of her life as best she can.