How to Age Disgracefully

Ageism, which Pooley confronts in How to Age Disgracefully, is defined as prejudice or discrimination based on a person’s real or assumed age. For older adults, ageism typically manifests as an assumption that, as one ages, one’s physical and mental capacities decline, presenting barriers to work performance, social relationships, and enjoyment of life. While there is plenty of evidence to suggest that advancing years do, for many, present more medical challenges and potential physical limitations, ageism automatically assumes that a mature adult is less competent, able, or interesting, and treats them accordingly.

Assumptions about aging can affect people of all age groups, as Pooley demonstrates in her novel. Young adults may face assumptions that they are not yet prepared for the full responsibilities of adulthood, while teenagers often encounter assumptions that their youth means they are less informed, have limited outlook or influence, and are inclined to make reckless choices. This is the attitude Ziggy himself acknowledges when he compares his situation as a single parent to his friends who don’t have dependents. Middle age carries its own set of assumptions, leading to the celebrated myth of the “mid-life crisis,” when a person doubts the worth of their accomplishments and looks for dramatic ways to reinvigorate their life or cling to a sense of youth and worth.

Pooley’s book joins a growing segment of women’s fiction that features older women as protagonists. Some readers call this category “hen lit,” in contrast to “chick lit,” which typically features younger protagonists; another label is “matron literature,” used in the publishing world to classify books with female protagonists between the ages of 45 and 65. The premise of an older character looking back on their life has a long tradition, but those novels, like Evening by Susan Minot, usually depict the protagonist in decline, looking back on more lively incidents or hidden secrets from their youth. Instead, “hen lit” gives agency to middle-aged and older protagonists who often reinvent themselves, have adventures, solve mysteries, or pull off crimes. Examples include Frederick Backman’s Britt-Marie Was Here (2014), Terry McMillan’s It’s Not All Downhill From Here (2020), and Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers (2022), which all feature characters in their 60s or above. Rather than pitiful characters of diminished powers, these books characterize their older protagonists as experienced, clever, powerful, and wise, defying ageist stereotypes.