How It Went Down

“Tariq forgot his change, is all. I stepped out in the street to try and help him. I meant to do the right thing, get the kid his money back.”

Edwin “Rocky” Fry admits that Tariq didn’t steal anything; rather, Tariq simply forgot his change and Rocky was trying to flag him down. In this way, Tariq’s death began with a huge misunderstanding as Brian Trellis thought Tariq robbed Rocky and tried to detain him until the cops arrived.

“Forgive me for the morning cynicism, Lord, but black kids get shot all the time, and no one looks twice.” 

Reverend Sloan is hesitant to get involved in the commotion surrounding Tariq’s death because, unfortunately, events like shootings happen all the time and the nation doesn’t seem to bat an eye. Sloan does get involved in order to boost his own poll numbers.

“It’s a long time I been loving folk. Long time, I been losing ‘em. But I ain’t ever known a sorrow like this one.” 

Redeema is Tariq’s grandmother, and though she’s seen a lot of death in her life, Tariq’s death hits especially hard because she feels in some way that it could have been avoided if she hadn’t asked him to dust and if he hadn’t left the house with a do-rag.

“I got my piece in my pocket now. Keeping watch, as usual, on the line. It’s a different kind of vigil. One that ain’t gonna end when people start to forget about Tariq.”

Sammy states an important fact: Tariq’s death will eventually begin to fade from the public eye, and Underhill will move on. But the everyday lives of those in Underhill will continue, and Sammy must be alert in regard to his tasks with the gang.

“It just feels like I swallowed the fire that was burning all around me. Now it’s inside me.” 

Jennica is taking Tariq’s death very hard, and though Noodle thinks that she feels safe with him around and that she feels better, she feels as if all the turmoil in Underhill has been taken and placed inside of her. As such, she’s restless and uncomfortable, even if she appears relaxed.

“[…] you can still hear the sounds of singing. Some low, sad thing that’s meant to conjure angels out of the concrete. How long you got to walk these streets before you know? Ain’t no angels coming.”

Brick, the leader of the Kings, can still hear the singing and wailing from Tariq’s vigil even while throwing a party with loud music playing. Though he’s also sad and angry at Tariq’s death, he has a glass-half-empty approach to the neighborhood; no one’s going to save anyone in Underhill.

“But those sleepovers were maybe the best times we ever had—safe and close. Nothing outside could touch us.” 

Tyrell reminisces about how close he, Tariq, Sammy, and Junior (the last of whom is now in jail for life) were when kids. Tariq was the closest person to him, but with Tariq’s death, he doesn’t feel safe anymore and feels the outside world threatening him, so much so he considers joining a gang.

“‘Let’s give away all the other people,’ I say, ‘and get Tariq back.’”

Tina makes a statement to her mom that they should get rid of all the mourners and protestors and replace them with Tariq. The childlike sentiment is actually very powerful, so much so that Tina’s mother Vernesha begins crying.

“My son wasn’t perfect, but he was mine. The world isn’t perfect, but he should still be in it.”

Vernesha thinks about how easy it would be to hate Jack Franklin because hatred would be easier to handle than sorrow. Though Tariq wasn’t perfect, he still deserves to not have been killed.

“She [Tyrell’s mother] doesn’t know being smart isn’t enough. Working hard isn’t enough. I gotta get real lucky, and before I even get a chance to be the right kind of lucky, I gotta get lucky enough to live.”

Tyrell’s stress not only comes from not being financially able to get into college and get away from his environment. His stress also comes from the fact that he has to be lucky enough to survive the streets of Underhill before he gets a chance to move away.

“My palms felt his last breath move inside him. His chest rose and fell and then kept falling, like it could carry us both straight down through the earth.”

Jennica reflects on the fact that she felt Tariq dying as she performed CPR. She also felt the moment when Tariq died, when his chest kept falling. In a sense, she “fell” (i.e., died a little) with him.

“His breath is in my chest, still now, and I never even tried to give it back to him.”

Jennica wouldn’t place her lips on Tariq’s, and she wonders if she might have saved him had she done this. Despite not kissing him, she was close enough for him to breathe into her. She faults herself for not kissing him and giving him his breath back.

“After a near-death experience, it feels like anything’s possible. It feels like what happens next doesn’t matter because I was supposed to be over right then.”

Tyrell was riding in the car with the Kings when they almost got into an altercation with the Stingers. He almost feels like he should’ve died and joined Tariq, and now that he’s still alive, he doesn’t know how to feel. Even hanging out with the Kings more seems like a possible outcome.

“That always happens when someone dies. People put on rose-colored glasses and talk about the good times.”

Though Kimberly suggests that Tariq wasn’t a saint, Reverend Sloan says that people always think good of those who die. Remembering the good times and only the best parts of a person is more a communal way of grieving and getting through the process of loss.

“Tariq Johnson can be whoever I want him to be. Here and now. Memorialized.”

Will goes out to tag a memorial for Tariq and picks the wall near where Tariq was killed to do so. Though he didn’t know Tariq personally and doesn’t know where to begin with his tagging, he realizes that Tariq can be anyone and everyone in death, and so his memorial can become something bigger than even his death or life.

“The rattle of cans. The hiss of spray. That tangy liquid scent that just about gets me high. A meditation.”

Though tagging is often looked down upon as destructive, this passage paints it in a different light. Will can’t tell his parents about his love for tagging, but it’s evident that the process is a cathartic and creative one for him, something akin to spiritual, even, as it’s described as putting him in a meditative state.

“I don’t know why he has to use this gutter language, but I swallow any scolding words. Because I hear him. For the first time, I hear it, so loud and so strong. I hear him saying, This could happen to me.”

Steve is upset with Will for using street language and for being so insistent on trying to leave the house for Tariq’s vigil/protest march. Steve only sees Tariq as a low-life street kid. Through Will’s anger, however, Steve comes to understand that Will identifies with Tariq’s plight as it could have been him killed.

“He doesn’t say a word, but I just know, the way you know things sometimes. I am under his wing, and I am in his heart.”

Will finally understands that Steve is trying his best to be a father figure. He decides to show Steve around Underhill so that he has a better idea of who he—Will—is. He knows that Steve’s concern is genuine and a result of his protective nature.

“If I can be like Kimberly, so beautiful and strong, maybe it won’t hurt so bad if all that happens at the end of the fall is that I crash into the earth.”

Jennica wants to be strong in the manner she imagines Kimberly to be. She’s finally decided to break up with Noodle and distance herself from gang life, signaling a shift in her life and a brighter future. It might be a rough breakup, but she’s willing to endure it for a sense of peace.

“The hooded people turn and stare, in a wave, like a thousand grim reapers.”

Brick’s maudlin assessment is a very poignant one. The protesters all wear black hoodies like the one Tariq was wearing when he died. In this way, the sea of people look like manifestations of death. Further, it’s a reminder that many of the protestors—especially the young, black males—could be in Tariq’s position very easily.

“If I have to use all the courage in my body today, I want to use it for Tariq. Not to avenge him, but to carry him forward.”

Tyrell finally understands what Tariq would have done in Tyrell’s current situation and he gathers the strength to say no to Brick and the Kings. He sees Tina alone outside and knows that she needs his protection, just as Tariq would have protected her, and just as Tariq always protected Tyrell.

“The vigil is done, the funeral is done, the people have all marched in protest. Now the world is moving on, and yet my own heart has barely resumed beating.”

Vernesha can finally breathe a little easier now that the camera crews have gone and the marches are all over. Despite all this, as she continues to battle with her son’s death and as she watches her daughter, Tina, leave the house unaccompanied, she still has to find the strength to just breathe.

“Tina pats the fresh knife grave. ‘Was Tariq bad?’ The million-dollar question. Coming from her small, innocent mouth, it seems like even more than that. It’s everything.”

Tyrell notes that the question on everyone’s mind is whether or not Tariq was a good person. It’s been the question from day one, and even Tariq’s own sister wants to know, given all the conflicting accounts.