How Does It Feel?

Callie readies herself for work and pleads for her old truck to start. She is an environmental scientist for the park service, residing in the small town of Willow Springs. She enjoys spending time with the injured animals at the wildlife rehabilitation center, appreciating the company of animals better than people. Callie daydreams about dating Cliff Richards, the game warden. He vaguely reminds her of Eli, her erstwhile best friend. Callie never stays in one place for long, and she hopes to go to Mexico with the Lepidoptera Migratory Society to track the monarch butterflies.

Her truck finally breaks down, and Cliff is there to help. He promises to pick her up after work and take her to his special fishing spot, where she can study the fish populations. She lets out an excited scream as she walks into the rehab center.

Callie’s new field microscope arrives. She receives a call from the director of the Lepidoptera Migratory Society, who tells Callie that they think she is too young to be isolated, suggesting she might want to get married or start a family.

Cecelia, who runs the wildlife rehab center, tries to comfort her: Callie has done excellent work in her short time in Willow Springs, and they are lucky to have her. Callie thanks her for the kind words, but she is still determined to follow her research. She came to Willow Springs specifically to study luna moths, and she will maintain her focus.

Callie tries to release some rehabilitated bunnies before she and Cliff go to his fishing spot. They refuse to leave her, gallivanting around her legs, until she expressly tells them to return to the forest. Cliff likens her to a Disney princess communicating with animals. She imagines dating the handsome young game warden, but she does not have the emotional strength to pursue love. Instead, she focuses on her work, telling him about her plan to help the endangered luna moths. A parasite has been infecting the moths, and she believes that lacing their feeding spots with mycelium might solve the problem. Cliff suggests she talk to “Crazy Earl,” the so-called “town drunk” (4), about where to find a steady supply of mushrooms.

Cliff’s flirtations grow more intense, and Callie decides not to go fishing with him. She would rather stay at home in her cozy cabin. Her walls are covered in various images of wings: As a child, she saw a golden fairy amidst a patch of mushrooms. It was being attacked by a crow, and Callie shielded it from harm. She later woke in the hospital. The mushroom patch was highly toxic and likely caused hallucinations, as well as almost killing her. Nevertheless, Callie believes in her golden fairy, leading her to study luna moths.

The next morning, Callie sees “the most beautiful red fox” (29). The fox has yellow eyes and seems unafraid of her; it looks different from most species, its fur radiating golden sparks. Cliff’s arrival startles the animal away. Cliff suggests that the fox is rabid: He will have his wardens look for it and put it down. Callie immediately distrusts him but accepts the ride to work.

Callie tracks down “Crazy Earl” at the library, finding him very unlike his nickname. Earl studies mushrooms and is a retired biologist and professor. He was fired from his government job after investigating odd natural phenomena in the nearby woods. Callie and Earl bond over shared interests, and when Earl asks to see Callie’s new field microscope. While Earl investigates specimens under the microscope, Callie tells him of her plan to help the luna moths. Earl knows of some rare mushrooms, called destroying angels, powerful enough to make her idea work.

Earl and Callie continue their work together and become friends. He takes her into the woods in search of the destroying angels. She brings her microscope. As they go deeper into the forest, Callie thinks about her lack of close friends and her faraway family.

The atmosphere in the woods begins to feel thick and ominous, but Callie dismisses this to nature’s unpredictability. They find a destroying angel, and Callie examines it under the microscope; its spores are strange and fascinating. Earl becomes uneasy, acting as if he regrets bringing Callie there. He tells her that the mushrooms will eventually grow into a circular patch, called “fairy rings” (50), a window into another world. As they leave, Earl behaves anxiously and warns Callie not to talk about the mushrooms. She tries to calm him down by suggesting that they go to dinner to celebrate their discovery. He agrees, and she decides to put on a dress and heels, applying makeup for the first time in a while. Callie realizes that she left the microscope out in the woods. She does not want to interrupt Earl before their dinner to retrieve it, so she decides to go after it herself.

Callie texts Earl that she is running late and jumps onto her tractor to return to the woods. On the way, she decides that her dress is a bit too small and cancels plans with Earl. He asks her if anything is wrong, but she is focused on finding the microscope and does not reply.

The forest feels strange and foreboding, but Callie chalks this up to nerves. Her tractor gets stuck in the mud, so she walks, in her high heels, to the spot where they found the mushroom. When she reaches it, she sees luna moths, the first she has ever seen, illuminated by lightning bugs. As Callie approaches, the red fox appears, snarling at her. She continues into the clearing. In front of her appears a perfect circle of destroying angel mushrooms. Though she is afraid, she reminds herself that this is just a natural occurrence, and she steps into the circle. She falls and falls for what seems an inordinate amount of time.

She lands on something hard and hears voices call out that she has attacked the prince. As she scrambles to get up, an enormous man dressed in black armor towers over her. His eyes are bright blue in the pale skin of his face, and he possesses giant wings of smoke. She reaches out to touch them, overcome by curiosity. The man spits on her and grabs her with his talons.