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Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2009

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Part 3, Chapters 34-35Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Part 3

Part 3, Chapter 34 Summary

Valerie tells Jessica she is dropping out of student council. As she does, a little of the old Jessica returns when she snidely replies, “God, when are you going to get past that ‘I’m not one of you’ thing, Valerie?” (332). Valerie ignores her, but Jessica follows her into the hallway. Jessica admits she has changed, but she still has nightmares. She says, “I didn’t like you…before. I can’t change that,” but she emphasizes the need to keep trying (333). Valerie asks her what the point of trying is; Jessica responds that May 2nd, 2008, is the point of trying. Jessica believes she received a second chance at life for a reason, and that reason was to become a better person.

Part 3, Chapter 35 Summary

In Valerie’s session with Dr. Hieler, she finally tells someone about Troy. She explains how Troy threatened her and waved a gun in her face. Dr. Hieler encourages Valerie to make a report to the police, which she agrees to do. Initially, she fears the police will ignore her, but the police take her claim seriously. Her father comes to the house after Valerie’s mother finds out about Troy; while there, her father advocates for an in-hospital psychiatric stay again. At home, feeling defeated, Valerie watches the horses on the wallpaper in her bedroom, a trick she uses as an escape, imagining herself riding atop one to a faraway adventure. However, “the horses on the wallpaper go nowhere” and instead take the menacing forms of adversaries in her life: her father, Troy, and Nick (342).

Part 3, Chapters 34-35 Analysis

When Jessica says the shooting changed her, she tries to emphasize Valerie’s own selfishness; Jessica is angry that Valerie cannot see the need for change and personal growth, especially given the second chance she and Valerie have to live, chances to change that others, such as Ginny, Abby, Chris, and Nick, don’t have. When Valerie notices that the horses on her wallpaper now appear menacing, a familiar darkness and loneliness start to appear; Valerie wants to escape her problems, but they appear more menacing and inescapable than ever.