Goodbye Days

Goodbye Days makes it clear that loss is universal. It seems that every character, from Carver to Dr. Mendez to Dearly, has experienced some sort of traumatic loss—and, with it, experienced grief. The book argues that people deal with grief in various ways. While Jesmyn finds comfort in her music, Adair seems to find purpose in her rage and her angry mission to put Carver in jail.

Carver’s character epitomizes the connection between grief and guilt and is a very real representation of the term “survivor’s guilt”—a phenomenon in which one person survives an accident or experience that kills others and feels guilty afterwards. It’s pure luck that Carver was not in the car with his friends, a fact that his parents also acknowledge in Chapter 6 when they reunite with him after their trip from Italy and cry, his father telling him, “If we had lost you. If we ever lost you” (44). The narrative ultimately suggests that closure is only possible in the absence of guilt. It’s only once Carver conquers his guilt that he’s able to gain closure.

The book’s examination of grief and guilt also ties into its focus on the importance of mental health. Carver’s grief and guilt don’t just affect him mentally but also manifest physically. He experiences panic attacks and night terrors, waking from bad dreams in a sweat. His sister Georgia serves as the mental health advocate of the narrative, connecting him to Dr. Mendez and normalizing therapy by speaking about her own experiences. The book attests to the efficacy of professional mental healthcare, as Dr. Mendez does help Carver’s evolution significantly as he deals with his grief. 

The book reiterates the importance of family repeatedly while also subtly arguing that family is what you make of it—and not necessarily based on DNA. One way this is shown is through Carver’s friendships with Sauce Crew; the boys are depicted as being almost more than friends emotionally and more like brothers. Other unconventional familial models are also seen in Jesmyn’s character (she was adopted) and in Blake’s character (he is raised by his grandmother).

The book further argues for more transparency within families, specifically for more openness between teenagers and their parents. Most teens aren’t very close with their parents. Just like Sauce Crew, they confide in their friends, not mom or dad. Goodbye Days shows how tragic this lack of intimacy between parents and kids can be when Carver has to repeatedly share authentic, intimate details about his friends to their largely clueless parents. He tells Nana Betsy that Blake was gay, for example, and the Bauers that Eli considered the existence of God. When it comes to Mars, he has to basically tell Judge Edwards who the real Mars was entirely. Judge Edwards recognizes this fact and articulates the book’s message on teen-parent relationships, telling Carver he should have a goodbye day with his own parents. Carver does ultimately decide to have a hello day with his parents.