Good Morning, Midnight

“One needs a lot of courage, to live.”

In a café, Sasha overhears these words spoken by an Arab man to what she describes as a melancholy girl. The beginning of the statement stands on its own, but, when placed in the context of the last two words, the entire statement further connects to Sasha’s plight. Though living seems to imply a simple state of being, here it requires courage, a word with heroic connotations. The mere act of living requires courage on Sasha’s part, as she must withstand so much from her past and in her present just to continue on.

“I try, but they always see through me. The passages will never lead anywhere, the doors will always be shut. I know.” 

Referring to her failed attempt to be a tour guide, this quote reveals the fatalistic quality of Sasha’s point of view. The use of the words “never” and “always” connects to a sense of hopelessness. Despite Sasha’s best efforts, she is never able to progress past her struggles, as solidified in the simple declarative statement of “I know.”

“A room is a place where you hide from the wolves outside and that’s all any room is. Why should I worry about changing my room?”

Sasha comes to this conclusion after leaving a hotel she tours with the intention to find a new room. Although Sasha previously felt this room was a way for her to escape her fate and break from the cycle in which she feels trapped, she realizes that all rooms are the same and serve the same purpose. They are not sources of comfort or luxury but merely shelter from the outside world. Her use of the word “wolves” illustrates her perception of the outside world as predatory and explains her desire to isolate herself.

“Everything is born out of a cliché, rests on a cliché, survives by a cliché. And they believe in the clichés—there’s no hope.”

Sasha recalls how she returned home to England five years ago, much to the disapproval of her family, who continually ask her why she did not just commit suicide. The repetition of the word “cliché” mimics the tedious nature of a cliché phrase that, through repetition, begins to lose meaning. The “they” Sasha refers to is all of humanity, from whom she remains completely isolated. This furthers her argument that, because of the pervasive and meaningless nature of this reliance on clichés, the outlook for humanity is bleak and hopeless.

“My life, which seems so simple and monotonous, is really a complicated affair of cafés where they like me and cafés where they don’t, streets that are friendly, streets that aren’t, rooms where I might be happy, rooms where I never shall be, looking-glasses I look nice in, looking-glasses I don’t, dresses that will be lucky, dresses that won’t, and so on.” 

After entering a café in a drunken state with the two Russian men she meets, Sasha discusses the elements that construct her seemingly banal life. Sasha redefines what the outside world calls “simple and monotonous” by highlighting the minutiae that consumes her life. She fixates on cafés, streets, rooms, looking-glasses, and dresses to escape the harsh reality of her life. Her obsession with these details distracts her from her inescapable depression and trauma.

“‘Everybody,’ Théodore says, ‘comes back to Paris. Always.’” 

Sasha overhears this statement after two women recognize Sasha in Théodore’s, a café she frequented in the past, and question her return to Paris. Sasha’s return to Paris signifies an important shift in Sasha’s life as she unsuccessfully attempts to avoid confronting her past. Théodore remarks on Paris’s undeniable magnetic pull, which influences the actions of characters throughout the novel.

“What do I care about anything when I can lie on the bed and pull the past over me like a blanket?” 

Sasha returns to her hotel room and sleeps. She desires to hide from the world and become desensitized to the overwhelming emotions that plague her. Sasha finds comfort in the past and, like a blanket, it covers her from the cold and harsh realities of her present life.

“I must get on with the transformation act.” 

Focused on her external self and her desire to transform from the outside in, Sasha resolves to buy a new hat. She begins with the urgent “I must,” but the phrasing “get on with” implies a sense of reluctance that keeps Sasha from acting quickly. The use of the article “the” demonstrates the significance of this transformation, and the inclusion of the word “act” unveils a connection to performance or the creation of a façade meant to conceal.

“But I don’t believe things change much really; you only think they do. It seems to me that things repeat themselves over and over again.” 

As she and Nicolas discuss how Paris changes from neighborhood to neighborhood and how Paris must have changed after the war, Sasha admits that she doubts the existence of any real change. She believes it is only one’s perception that changes. In Sasha’s reality, there is a sense of stagnancy or paralysis that reflects a lack of change, progression, or growth. Sasha feels stuck in this web of continued repetition and projects this onto the world around her.

“The truth is improbable, the truth is fantastic; it’s in what you think is a distorting mirror that you see the truth.” 

Sasha states this after René shares his doubtful story of escape from the Legion. Here, Sasha describes the characteristics of truth as beyond probability and reason. As opposed to the notion of truth as cold, hard fact, Sasha believes truth is individual and, thus, distorted by perception. Sasha’s truth, shared throughout the novel, reflects these characteristics; despite the depression and excessive drinking that skews her perception of reality, Sasha’s truth still resonates.

“I have eternity in front of me. Soon I’ll be able to do it, but there’s no hurry.” 

Sasha remembers these words from Sister Marie-Augustine. While the nun refers to eternity in connection to a religious afterlife, Sasha applies the idea to her contemplation of suicide as she delays taking definitive action. Her delay in committing suicide, despite her expressed desire to leave this world, is a result of the overthinking that characterizes Sasha in general. She struggles to make even the smallest decision, much less one that would end her life. Eternity for her is a not a place of rest or comfort but the opportunity to delay the decision to take her own life.

“People talk about the happy life, but that’s the happy life when you don’t care any longer if you live or die. You only get there after a long time and many misfortunes. And do you think you are left there? Never.

As soon as you have reached this heaven of indifference, you are pulled out of it. From your heaven you have to go back to hell. When you are dead to the world, the world often rescues you, if only to make a figure of fun out of you.” 

Sasha offers her personal definition of happiness. She refers to caring about whether one lives or dies as the cause of unhappiness or depression, whereas happiness equals indifference. According to Sasha, such “happiness” is not only the result of much unhappiness but also a temporary state. Sasha personifies the world as an active force capable of rescue or torture. This view of the world feeds Sasha’s paranoia.

“Please, please, monsieur et madame, mister, missis and miss, I am trying so hard to be like you. I know I don’t succeed, but look how hard I try.”

Sasha patrons a nearby bar and asks for a drink. She feels judged by the workers and feigns asking for directions to the cinema to soothe her discomfort at being alone in a bar and drinking. Sasha constantly focuses on what others think of her and how she can become accepted in society. The world remains locked away from her; her sense of isolation and alienation from those around her continues to grow.

“But people are doing crazy things all over the place. The war is over. No more war—never, never, never. Après la guerre, there’ll be a good time everywhere.” 

Describing the general gaiety and atmosphere after World War I, Sasha notes this optimism in the air while she is living in The Hague with Enno prior to their marriage. She emphasizes the declaration that there will be “no more war” with the repetition of “never” three times; this optimism is ironic, as World War II stands on the horizon. The “good time” Sasha mentions connects to her and Enno’s choice to marry suddenly and travel Europe without stability. They embody the reckless abandon that fueled the lives of those who survived World War I.

“You mustn’t talk, you mustn’t think, you must stop thinking. Of course, it is like that You must let go of everything else, stop thinking.” 

Shortly after they marry, Enno instructs Sasha to stop talking and thinking, demonstrating his belief in his authority over Sasha. This dynamic exemplifies Sasha’s struggle to survive in a male-dominated society where, unable to express herself, she pitches into overthinking and fixating on the past. Though Sasha initially believes their marriage to be happy, her lack of power leaves Sasha vulnerable to Enno’s disrespect.

“It’s a strange feeling—when you know quite certainly in yourself that something is for always. It’s like what death must be. All the insouciance, all the gaiety is a bluff. Because I wanted to escape from London I fastened myself on him, and I am dragging him down. All the gaiety is gone and now he is thin and anxious.” 

After their struggles to get there, Sasha and Enno now live in Paris, although Enno abandons Sasha shortly after their arrival before returning with no explanation of his absence. Sasha equates her eternal love for Enno with death, further depicting her fixation on death and the lack of vitality within their relationship. She also relates herself to a parasite who feeds on Enno and intensifies his anxiety. Disillusionment continues to erode Sasha’s former innocence.

“It’s not that these things happen or even that one survives them, but what makes life strange is that they are forgotten. Even the one moment that you thought was your eternity fades out and is forgotten and dies. This is what makes life so droll—the way you forget, and every day is a new day, and there’s hope for everybody, hooray.”

In conversing with a man in a bar shortly after the death of her child, Sasha remarks on the cruelty and absurdity of life, that humans can continue living. She laments how tragedy does not stop time or desire. She mocks the cliché that “every day is a new day” and the endless renewal of hope that such a cliché inspires. The satirical inclusion of the word “hooray” reinforces Sasha’s cynicism, a lasting effect of losing her child.

“First this happened, and then that happened.”

Repeated before and after Enno leaves Sasha, this matter-of-fact language contrasts with the event’s significance in Sasha’s life and in her character development. Enno’s final abandonment of Sasha contributes to the unrelenting accumulation of trauma that defines her life. Once again, Sasha remains passive, and these events “happen” and are not attributed to any specific person or force. Sasha maintains a total lack of agency or choice as fate, and not Sasha herself, decides what happens to her.

After all this, what happened?

 What happened was that, as soon as I had the slightest chance of a place to hide in, I crept into it and hid.” 

Now completely alone, Sasha grasps the opportunity to retreat from the world. The specific use of the word “crept” implies that Sasha moves silently and invisibly, in fear of the next barrage of tragedy. She cowers and hides rather than choosing to fight. This is Sasha’s state of mind at the beginning of the novel.

“I won’t do a thing—not a thing. I will not grimace and posture before these people any longer.” 

Sasha prepares to meet René for dinner. She contemplates what to wear and how to present herself before proclaiming that she will no longer make such an effort. The diction of “grimace” and “posture” relates to the façade that Sasha presents, but that is not grounded in the reality of her true feelings. “These people” demonstrates that this is not just about René but about humanity in general, which René represents.

“But when I think ‘tomorrow’ there is a gap in my head, a blank—as if I were falling through emptiness. Tomorrow never comes.” 

René informs Sasha that he has found a place for them to go for the evening to avoid the judgment of those in her hotel. Sasha, embarrassed that René has asked the waiter for advice, fears that she cannot return to this restaurant again. She thinks about following her routine tomorrow but realizes that she cannot imagine tomorrow. Her inability to imagine tomorrow foreshadows the final act of the novel, which implies Sasha’s demise.

“You are walking along a road peacefully. You trip. You fall into blackness. That’s the past—or perhaps the future. And you know that there is no past, no future, there is only this blackness, changing faintly, slowly, but always the same.” 

Sasha thinks of this metaphor while René questions why she is afraid to spend the night with him. He asks if she is afraid “of men, of love?” and Sasha compares life to a road on which she travels without worry until tripping over some obstacle. One trip sends her into total darkness, riddled with anxiety over the torturous past and the unknown future, both of which taint the present, propelling her into a dark paralysis. This is Sasha’s emotional state throughout the novel. Overwhelmed by even the slightest misstep, she cannot escape.

“I’m as strong as the dead, my dear, and that’s how strong I am.”

As René attempts to rape Sasha, she replies this in response to his mocking of her strength to fight him off. Sasha aligns herself with the dead once again and maintains her strength in this intense situation. Through this connection to the dead, Sasha implies she is indifferent to what will happen to her, and as she fights René off, she remains unfazed at the prospect of death.