Good Advice is Rarer than Rubies

“The lala, usually so rude to the Consulate’s Tuesday women, answered Miss Rehana with something like courtesy. ‘Half an hour,’ he said gruffly. ‘Maybe two hours. Who knows? The sahibs are eating their breakfast.’”

The lala’s response is not truly courteous, despite the narrator suggesting otherwise. The juxtaposition of the narrator’s description with the lala’s actual response is humorous and pokes fun at the lala while demonstrating how little the guards (and by extension the Consulate) care for the Tuesday women.

“She turned to look at him, and at close range those eyes did bad things to his digestive tract.”

This passage conveys the supposed power inherent in the beauty of the Other (gendered or racial), which renders its viewer powerless. Muhammad Ali sees Miss Rehana simultaneously as a desirable object and as a preternaturally powerful agent.

“Miss Rehana smiled. ‘Good advice is rarer than rubies,’ she said. ‘But alas, I cannot pay. I am an orphan, not one of your wealthy ladies.’”

Besides providing the quote from which Rushdie derives the title of the story, Miss Rehana’s remark that it’s hard to find good advice could be taken to mean either that she appreciates the “rarity” of Muhammad Ali’s offer, or that she in fact sees through it. Either way, when coupled with her claim that she has no money, it is an attempt to tell Muhammad Ali that his advice will be wasted on her.

“There are women here with male family members, all earning good wages. Go to them. Good advice should find good money.”

This quote reveals the gender constructs at play in the narrative; men earn wages that the women accompanying them would gladly spend on expert advice. This moment also reveals that Miss Rehana knows Muhammad Ali is trying to exploit her, or someone like her, for money.

“Then I must surely listen. When Fate sends a gift, one receives good fortune.”

Miss Rehana does seek good fortune and so chooses to follow Muhammad Ali. The irony in this aphorism is that the good fortune she seeks is to be barred from traveling to England.

“London is a town only, like Multan or Bahawalpur. England is a great nation full of the coldest fish in the world.”

This is a satirical representation of nations, towns, and states—both because Bahawalpur was once an autonomous state in Pakistan and because the depiction of England is unflattering, harkening to the stereotype of British people as stiff and emotionless. This quote makes fun of England while referencing the complex nature of sovereignty in Pakistan due to colonization.

“He told her that the sahibs thought that all the women who came on Tuesdays, claiming to be dependents of bus drivers in Luton or chartered accountants in Manchester, were crooks and liars and cheats.”

Though the Tuesday women are attempting to do all they can to get into England, the only woman the story depicts is Miss Rehana, who is hoping to avoid it. The alleged duplicity of the women heightens the irony, as Miss Rehana is willing to trick the Consulate so that she can remain in Pakistan.

“Her innocence made him shiver with fear for her. She was a sparrow, he told her, and they were men with hooded eyes, like hawks.”

Like the conflicting perceptions of the Tuesday women as both vulnerable and manipulative, Muhammad Ali here perceives Miss Rehana as innocent prey for the sahibs and for men like himself. Until this point, however, he has viewed her as having power over him, and her actions and demeanor have not suggested vulnerability.

“Life is hard, and an old man must live by his wits. It was not up to Muhammad Ali to have compassion for these Tuesday women.”

Muhammad Ali has no apparent remorse for fooling the women who come to the Consulate. He feels he has no other option but to navigate the postcolonial world like everyone else.

“Completely genuine and pukka goods.”

The use of “pukka” is redundant here, as it means “genuine.” The term instead operates as a colloquialism that weds two cultures in one phrase, further emphasized by Muhammad Ali using “pukka” to describe a British passport. It thus develops the theme of Colonialism’s Displacements and Destabilizations.

“Old fool, he berated himself. The oldest fools are bewitched by the youngest girls.”

Once again, Muhammad Ali sees his behavior as beyond his control because of Miss Rehana. He feels he has been “tricked” into giving her his deepest secrets and best advice. In reality, Miss Rehana has no interest in either; Muhammad Ali is simply projecting his desire onto her and concluding that she is a seductress.

“‘What goes of my father’s if you are?’ (Meaning, what was it to him).”

The use of an aphorism (which the narrator then approximates in English) here conveys the dialect used in Pakistan. This is also a rare occurrence of a supplemental definition of culturally specific terms by the narrator.

“‘It was an arranged engagement,’ Miss Rehana said all at once. ‘I was nine years old when my parents fixed it. Mustafa Dar was already thirty at that time [...]. I have his photo, but he is like a stranger to me. Even his voice, I do not recognize it on the phone.’”

Miss Rehana finally reveals the circumstances that brought her to the Consulate, surprising Muhammad Ali (and likely the reader). The arranged marriage Miss Rehana describes may be a common situation for women traveling to the Consulate, complicating the narrative surrounding them (i.e., that they are frauds and tricksters).