Girl in Pieces

Charlie’s contact with Evan and Mikey triggers painful memories of her past. Later, she discovers that she is being discharged for not having insurance.

Charlie recalls having always been the poor, forgettable girl who never smiled and had no friends, until Ellis, who introduced her to Mikey. Friends brought complications, though: Charlie had a crush on Mikey, who had a crush on Ellis, who had a boyfriend.

Charlie’s home life was difficult. Her father loved her but struggled with mental illness and eventually died by suicide. After his death, Charlie’s mother, Misty, began hitting her. Angry and lonely, Charlie struggled to cope. Listening to music and drawing provided relief, but she began cutting, further damaging her self-esteem because she equated cutting with being bad.

Misty kicked Charlie out after she started hitting back. She stayed with Ellis’ family until Ellis’ mother found drugs; they belonged to Ellis’ boyfriend, but Ellis blamed Charlie. Ellis’ parents kicked Charlie out, leading her to return to Misty. One night, Charlie received a text from Ellis, “Something wrong Hurts,” but ignored it (82, italics in original). Ellis had cut herself and bled so much that her body went into shock, resulting in brain damage. Her parents committed her to a care home in Idaho. Overwhelmed with guilt and grief, Charlie broke Misty’s nose and ended up on the street again, which eventually led to Frank and her suicide attempt to escape him.

Recalling her past overwhelms Charlie. Needing a release, she goes to the craft room. Miss Joni presents her with a blank pad and charcoal, and Charlie fills every page with images of her friends.

Excited to share her breakthrough with Casper, Charlie arrives to her session to discover that she is being discharged because she does not have insurance. Charlie bites her tongue until it bleeds. She learns that she will have to return to her mother until a bed opens at a halfway house. Casper insists that they are not abandoning her, but Charlie runs to her bathroom and pounds her head against the wall, causing a gash that requires stitches. When Casper tries to stop her, Charlie tears Casper’s hair out then slides to the floor apologizing. Her story pours out of her, and she begs Casper not to send her “back outside” (80). Casper’s eyes are “watery” as two orderlies silently lead her away (80).

Charlie narrates her final days at Creeley, including Mikey’s visit and his intervention on her behalf.

An emergency stay allows Charlie to remain at Creeley while her housing is determined. She no longer has individual sessions with Casper, who remains kind but distant. Mikey comes to Creeley but is not allowed inside. From the rec room window, Charlie sees him standing in the rain in front of the building. Crying, she remembers the first time she met him at Ellis’ house and how they bonded over a song. She remembers Ellis being jealous, though she did not need to be because he “always loved her [Ellis] more” (86).

The girls gather at the window with Charlie, who presses her arms against the window to show Mikey her scars. He covers his face with his hands. Blue is impressed by Mikey’s “utter devotion” (88, italics in original). Mikey is weeping as he holds up three signs that spell out the words “don’t you die” (88). Two orderlies arrive to send him away. Charlie wonders if he could love her.

The evening before her discharge, Charlie sends Mikey a message, “Please save me” (92, italics in original). After a pause, he replies, “on it” and logs off (92, italics in original). That night, she wakes up to find Blue at her side. She tells Charlie about a time she was so strung out on drugs at her grocery store job that she thought the cereal was laughing at her for being a “fucked-up asshole” (93): “Don’t let the cereal eat you,” she tells Charlie (93).

The following day, as Charlie packs, Casper cautions her about the danger of falling into destructive habits that are comfortable even though they are painful. Louisa tells Charlie that she regrets not having shared her story, which is written in notebooks stacked neatly under her bed.

Seeing her mother for the first time in a year, Charlie feels herself dissociating. After they leave, Misty gives Charlie an envelope that holds her identification cards, a bus ticket, and cash that she and Ellis earned doing odd jobs. Ellis’ mother found it and wanted Charlie to have it. Misty knows that Charlie will not thrive with her or at a halfway house. Mikey arranged for the bus ticket to bring Charlie to him in Arizona.

Out on an errand, Vinnie turns up in the Creeley van and gives Charlie a ride to the bus station. He gives her some money, tells her that “everybody that’s busted can be fixed” (101), and advises her how to protect herself during the trip.