Find Me

In Part 2, Aciman switches the perspective of youth versus age from Part 1. In “Tempo,” Samuel represents the older voice in a relationship between young and old, and in “Cadenza,” Elio represents the younger voice in a relationship between young and old. Although Elio’s narrative voice is not meant as a parallel to Miranda’s, because these characters are so different, Elio’s point of view does reveal the perspective of someone in a relationship with an older man, which can be read as a type of counternarrative to Samuel’s and Michel’s experiences.

As with Samuel and Miranda, Elio’s connection to Michel is magical because they often don’t need to speak directly about their emotions to know what the other is feeling. This unspoken communication reveals a soulful connection that transcends ordinary human relationships and thus doesn’t need to concern itself with matters of age, nationality, or the future because the connection is only powerful if Elio and Michel don’t question it too much. There is a passionate impulsiveness in these relationships, but it is revealed in Part 2 that Samuel and Miranda are still together five years later and have a child, giving evidence that such impetuous relationships can last long-term. Inherent in these passionate connections, however, is the question of whether people want a long-term relationship. Elio struggles with this because he likes his independence and ultimately believes he wants to be alone. Michel understands Elio’s autonomy as existing in spite of Elio’s capacity to love and be loved; if Elio were with the right person, he wouldn’t feel the need to be single. It is implied by both Michel and Aciman that this “right person” is Oliver, Elio’s former lover from 15 years ago. Oliver and Elio’s connection still impresses Elio, and Elio still thinks about Oliver even though he hasn’t spoken to him in over a decade. This is proof that impulsive and passionate connections can stand the test of time.

Although Aciman parallels Elio and Michel’s relationship with Samuel and Miranda’s through the shared experience of age difference and soulful connection, Elio and Michel have a different relationship from the very beginning, indicating that love and desire come in many forms. There is an awkwardness between Elio and Michel that often threatens to come between them—one of them must always be the one to act on their desire and save the relationship from quickly fizzling out. This is apparent when Elio asks Michel not to leave him alone after their weekend in the countryside turns inexplicably awkward. In contradiction to the bond of unspoken communication they developed initially, it is only by stating his desires clearly that Elio continues to nurture their relationship. Thus, although there is some magic in a soulful connection, in Elio and Michel’s case, direct communication is often needed.

Elio’s relationship with Oliver is the central focus of Aciman’s novel Call Me by Your Name, and it is notable that in Find Me, Elio is still thinking about Oliver. This proves the durability of love and emphasizes the distinct depth and intensity of Elio’s connection with Oliver. Since Oliver, Elio has been in relationships with both women and men, but until Michel, no one spoke to his soul the way Oliver had. This means that Elio directly compares Michel and Oliver, since both are older and have an inexplicable bond with Elio. Elio’s past relationship with Oliver lives on as a specter that informs Elio’s romantic present, so in a way, he and Oliver never broke up. Elio is honest with Michel about his love for Oliver; his openness simultaneously establishes intimacy and engenders insecurity. Michel’s insecurity is rooted in their age difference; he believes that Elio has more options and therefore can leave Michel on a whim. This worry parallels Samuel’s insecurity with Miranda in “Tempo” because Samuel, like Michel, imagines Miranda leaving him without so much as a goodbye, the kind of dismissive tone that older people associate with flighty youth. Elio knows that Oliver, married to a woman and living in the United States, is unavailable, but Oliver is a metaphor for the type of love and passion that Elio craves. Michel comes close to that passion, but he can’t replace the hole Oliver left in Elio.

Another parallel between Part 1 and Part 2 is the importance of shared spaces. In Part 2, like Part 1, the older person in the relationship has a country house they want to share with their younger partner. These houses represent a sense of security that Miranda and Elio don’t yet have, need, or necessarily want. But that shared space is important because it is a space of intimacy, and it entails bringing a partner into the histories of the space. In Find Me, inviting someone into the personal space of a home is a gesture of love as meaningful as sharing one’s body. This is emphasized in Michel’s house, which he grew up in and inherited from his parents.

Sharing the mysterious Léon’s cadenza is an extension of that intimacy. Elio is captivated by the mystery of the cadenza, more interested in the story of Léon than in his story with Michel. Within a week, Elio uncovers more than Michel has in the years he’s known about the cadenza. Whereas Samuel, a classics professor, turns to history for clues about the past, Michel demonstrates how history leaves clues for the present. Léon’s story is an important one for both its historical significance and for Elio’s understanding of his relationship with Michel. In the implication that Léon and Adrien were secret lovers, with a similar age gap as Elio and Michel, the past echoes into the present. Whereas the 1940s were a time in which men could not publicly be together, and in which Jews were prohibited from intimate interaction with non-Jewish communities, Elio (who is Jewish) and Michel are freer to be open and embracing of their desire for one another. Léon’s cadenza is a message from the past to embrace true love and passion.

The cadenza itself is a symbol of unconventionality and passion. In classical music, a prominent form of composition is the sonata, comprising a series of movements. The sonata allows for a composer to imbue different moods within their overall piece of music, making the composition similar to a story that captures the arc of an experience. But a musician must perform the sonata as written, while the cadenza is a soloist’s opportunity for free-form improvisation. A cadenza can serve the purpose of adding personality and individual story to a larger thematic piece. That Léon’s piece is a cadenza and not a sonata demonstrates that Léon understood the value of adapting classical music for his own purposes. The improvisational nature of the cadenza makes space for Léon to bring in the Kol Nidre as a secret code, an ode to his Jewish identity and a message to his loved ones. Léon subverts a traditional musical form with historical ties to antisemitism to celebrate his identity. That Léon uses his cadenza to reach out to his lover highlights the intimacy of music as a way of creating community and connection.

The Kol Nidre is a Hebrew declaration in which any personal or religious oaths are annulled so that people can avoid breaking a vow to oneself, to another, or to God that cannot be upheld. In this context, the Kol Nidre is a way of annulling the relationships Léon is forced to leave behind during the Holocaust. That Léon was beaten to death at a concentration camp when he refused to give up his violin is another testament to the power of music. Like Léon, Elio’s life as a musician is an intellectual and a passionate one; he can relate to Léon’s communication through music and his commitment to music as an extension of personhood. The discovery of Léon’s real name, Ariel Waldstein, and former association with the Florian Quartet, at whose concert Michel and Elio met, provides a further connection between history and the present.

A major topic explored in Part 2 is fate. Michel believes in fate; Elio does not. But many coincidences in Part 2 support Michel’s theory. Michel meets Elio in the same church that Ariel likely performed and met Michel’s father in. There is a magic in this story, but there’s also the issue of life imitating fate; Aciman hints that Elio fulfills a fantasy Michel has long nurtured about the past.