Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Confabulous Memoir

Charity is the narrator’s younger sister. They are six years apart in age, and therefore the narrator has always felt compelled to protect her. The reader only encounters Charity in one scene, when she and the narrator are on the beach in Gloom tending to the dying mermaids. Otherwise, everything that is known about Charity is revealed through the narrator’s letters to her. As a younger sister, Charity is a symbol of innocence. The narrator sees her as small, cute, and sweet, but she acknowledges that the oppressive atmosphere of Gloom is already robbing her of this sweetness: “She was becoming hungrier, harder around the edges” (12). Nonetheless, her innocence is still apparent in the way she cries when the narrator reveals that she is leaving Gloom. She is devastated to be losing her big sister and wonders how she will get along without her.

In the subsequent letters written by the narrator, the reader learns that Charity’s edges have continued to harden. She is fighting with their mother, smoking cigarettes (provided by the narrator), and even getting into fist fights in school. In many ways, her development mirrors the narrator’s own. Her coming of age is fraught, and the narrator expresses concern that Charity will find herself in the same kind of trouble that she is in. She wants to think of Charity as the same little girl that she left behind in Gloom, all innocent and in need of protection. However, as Charity grows into a young teen, she must learn to take care of herself, and according to the narrator, if that means “that you’ve got to smoke a few cigarettes and punch a few snotty white girls in the face,” maybe that’s a necessary part of the process. At the same time, she urges Charity to “keep room for softness in your heart, and for sweetness, too” (173-74). Eventually the reader learns that, thanks to the narrator’s “forgiveness cake,” Charity also embarks on her own journey, following the insect wings and dead butterflies she has collected as they flutter away to another place that will help Charity continue to grow. Although Charity’s character is framed almost entirely by the narrator’s observations and recollections, this brief moment shows that she is also a dynamic character. Like the narrator, she may also be escaping her circumstances in order to learn how to love more and to hurt less.

Kimaya is a mother figure for many of the trans women and girls on the Street of Miracles, and she is an unspoken leader of their community. She is a trans woman with dark skin and a bright smile, marred only by a few cracked teeth. She is also known for her long, braided hair, which is typically adorned with beads. She is warm, friendly, and laughs often. She is always ready to help any new trans women who find their way to the Street of Miracles, which she explains is “because she never had sisters to help her on her journey, and no one should have to go it alone” (40-41). The narrator observes that Kimaya is only 10 years older than she is, but she has done so much in those 10 years. She even opened a clinic and community center on the Street of Miracles called the Femme Alliance Building. Because of the care she shows for others and her need to help, she often serves as a support system or a guiding force for the narrator on her journey of self-discovery. Kimaya is well-respected and even at times revered by other members of the trans community, and her lover Rapunzelle particularly adores her. Kimaya is also an advocate of peaceful protest, careful intervention, and community education. This stance creates tensions between two factions of trans women, some of whom believe that in the wake of the murder of one of their own, more radical action is necessary. Kimaya, however, holds firm to the idea that they will eventually obtain justice “only with love. Not violence” (72). Kimaya holds staunchly to her convictions even when they come at the cost of fracturing her community and her connections with the ones she loves.

Often viewed through the lens of motherly wisdom, Kimaya is not always a perfect and admirable character. She is flawed and complex like so many of the trans women she cares for. In fact, Rapunzelle accuses her of caring for others only out of a selfish need to control the people she loves. This accusation rattles Kimaya. She drops her normally kind and calm demeanor to slap Rapunzelle across the face. It also unsettles the narrator, who wonders if Kimaya’s motivations are as pure as she says. Whether Kimaya’s need to control is conscious or unconscious, this confrontation prompts her to reflect on her own needs more clearly. In the end, she also reconciles with Rapunzelle, putting aside her powerful convictions to reconnect with the person she cares for the most.