Everything I Never Told You

The Lee family tries to forget about the summer when Marilyn left.

When Marilyn disappears and James calls the police, Officer Fiske tells him that Marilyn’s departure is unlikely to be a kidnapping, given the preparations she took. He adds that “sometimes people are just too different,” insinuating that the couple’s racial difference is the source of Marilyn’s unhappiness (124). James thinks about the incident on his wedding day, when he overheard Marilyn’s mother telling her that it was wrong to marry outside her race. He pieces together Marilyn’s torn-up note from the wastepaper basket, which explains how she “always had one kind of life in mind and things have turned out very differently” (125). While Marilyn was talking about her career, James misunderstands and thinks she regrets marrying outside her race. He is also conscious that the Lees are the talk of the town.

Nath develops a fascination with astronauts to counter his mother’s absence. James, who feels uncomfortable with how much Nath resembles the introverted and nerdy boy that he was, lashes out at his son, permanently damaging their bond. Meanwhile, Nath becomes angry with Jack when he tells Nath that growing up with one parent is sufficient.

Lydia, meanwhile, discovers her mother’s Betty Crocker cookbook and the passage that Marilyn’s tears fell onto. She promises herself that if her mother returns, then “she would do everything her mother wanted” (137).

In Toledo Marilyn is studying for her midterm exams. She misses her family but feels as though she is doing the right thing. Sometimes she calls home and remains silent on her end of the receiver. Then, when she faints, Marilyn discovers that she is pregnant with a third child. To James’s delight, she reunites with the family.

Prior to Marilyn’s return, Lydia was no more special a child than Nath. However, when Marilyn learns that Lydia made the Betty Crocker cookbook vanish, she begins to dote on Lydia and transfers her aspirations of a medical career onto her daughter. She pays attention to Lydia at the expense of Nath, continually attending to Lydia’s education.

Nath is so upset by Lydia’s new centrality that he pushes Lydia, who cannot swim, into the lake. Then, fearing the prospect of life alone, he jumps in and saves her. The lake incident is their secret. Nath does not know the sense of relief that Lydia feels in nearly drowning because “the weight of everything tilting toward her was too much” (154).

Ten years after Marilyn’s disappearance, Lydia is still at the center of the Lee family. She becomes the stand-in for her mother’s career dreams and her father’s aspirations to popularity. Nath’s academic achievements and interest in aerophysics are overlooked, while neglected Hannah stays “out of sight as well as out of mind, to ensure the terrain of the family did not change” (161).

Lydia, who was made to attend college science programs over the summer and moved up to junior-level physics, finds that she is failing the class. Marilyn attempts to motivate her by sticking the failed quiz to the fridge and exerting further control over her studies. Meanwhile, knowing that James wishes her to be popular, Lydia, who is friendless, pretends to talk to girls from school on the telephone whenever her father passes by.

Nath used to help Lydia by half-joking that “too much love was better than too little” (168). However, when his parents overlook Nath’s achievement of getting into Harvard in their flurry of concern over Lydia’s schoolwork and social life, he purposefully distances himself from Lydia.

Feeling lost, Lydia subsequently determines to befriend Jack Wolff, who is in her physics class. A chief motivator in her choice is the enmity between Nath and Jack. She rides around in Jack’s car when she is supposed to be doing her homework, and she answers his frank questions about being the only non-White girl in school. She replies that “people decide what you’re like before they get to know you” (193).

Weeks after Lydia’s death, James struggles with his mental health and finds repeated refuge in Louisa’s bed. Upon returning from Louisa’s house, James runs into Nath. Feeling guilty about his whereabouts, James lashes out at his son, who notices that he smells like a woman’s perfume.

The telephone rings, and it is Officer Fiske, who tells James that they concluded that suicide was the cause of Lydia’s death and that the investigation is closed. When Marilyn overhears, she furiously says that “if she were a white girl, they’d keep looking” (202). A disillusioned James retorts that were Lydia white, “none of this would ever have happened” because she would have fit in (202). He adds that Marilyn’s mother was right after all—she should have married a White man.

James then drives off to find Louisa, “a woman just like him,” and feels a sad sense of homecoming when he eats the char siu bau buns she prepares (205). He tells Louisa that he should have married a woman like her, and she believes that he will leave his wife for her.

Hannah hears Nath call Officer Fiske and mention Jack’s name. She believes that Jack is innocent. During an outing at the lake last summer, she witnessed a drop of water fall from Nath’s shoulder onto Jack’s hand, and Jack “raised his hand to his mouth and touched his tongue to it as if it were honey” (211). Hannah knows that someone capable of such adoration would not harm any of them.

Meanwhile, Marilyn thinks about what James said earlier and realizes that while she repressed her mother’s comment about their unsuitability, James dwelled on it. James does not come home that night, so the next morning, a furious Nath tells his mother that he thinks James is at Louisa’s. Marilyn finds Louisa in the telephone directory and drives over to her place. When Louisa answers the door, Marilyn tells her that she is looking for her husband and that Louisa should tell him that he will find her at home.