Caterpillar Summer

“‘At the chicken place, that lady asked if you were our mom,’ said Chicken. He turned a page, not looking up. Mom glanced at Chicken in the rearview mirror. ‘Yes, she did.’ ‘I know why it happened,’ said Chicken. ‘It’s because our skin is different colors.’ ‘Yes, baby, that’s right. But we’re all part of the same family.’ It was the same line Mom had said since Cat could remember.”

That Cat and Chicken are biracial is not directly stated in the novel but revealed indirectly via incidents like this. That other people are taken aback by the difference in the race of Cat and Chicken and their mother hints that the children may experience subtle racism at times. Mom consistently teaches them that their racial differences do not diminish their familiar ties.

“[Cat] glanced again at Chicken, who held Lily’s hand like it was the most normal thing in the world. Cat wanted to flop down and cry, like Chicken had at the airport. The difference was, Chicken knew someone would carry him and Cat didn’t. She always picked herself up. She would have to figure out how to do that here.”

Cat’s resentment toward Chicken becomes increasingly apparent as the novel unfolds. Though she loves Chicken, at times Cat is upset by the way in which her care is taken for granted. Further, unlike Chicken, she must be self-reliant. This autonomy is important, but at times Cat wishes she had support that is lacking from her life.

“‘Come here,’ [Cat] said. She patted [Chicken] dry so he wouldn’t drip. Chicken needed her in a way that Macon and Lily couldn’t understand. Sometimes Cat didn’t understand it either.”

After Chicken is knocked down by an ocean wave, neither Macon nor Lily can console him. Only Cat knows the secrets to calming Chicken and restoring him to calm. Cat recognizes the important role she plays in Chicken’s life. At times she resents it, but at other times she is comforted by the role’s importance.

“‘The cookie isn’t the point. It’s a symbol. The cookie represents all the things Caterpillar gives up to keep Chicken happy.’ Cat thought back to the last day of school, when she said no to the Toy Boat with Poppy Zhang. Chicken didn’t know half of what Cat did to make him happy.”

Mom’s ideas for her books are drawn from actual incidents that Cat and Chicken have experienced. They generally always depict Cat sacrificing something for Chicken to make sure that he is appeased and remains calm. Chicken’s disability and its demands are evident here as is the way in which Cat often feels frustrated for the way Chicken’s needs appear to come before her own desires and wishes. She grows increasingly frustrated when, after attempting to discuss this dissonance with Chicken, he does not understand Cat’s concern.

“‘But you promised you would teach me to fish,’ Cat’s voice cracked; she was trying not to cry. ‘I’m sorry,’ said Mom. ‘Work comes first.’ Cat was quiet. She knew that work came first. But sometimes it felt like Cat came last.”

Mom’s broken promise is hurtful to Cat. Mom’s consistent focus on her job frequently suggests to Cat that she is unimportant. For this reason, Mom’s change of heart at the end of the novel will be an important step toward making certain Cat does not come last in the future.

“If Mom were here, they would talk about the way Miss Sunshine became a hundred times friendlier after Macon walked in. It could have been prejudice against what Cat looked like. It could have been ageism, since she was young and by herself. Or maybe it could have been something else entirely—but Cat didn’t think so. It was hard to untangle the threads of why someone acted the way they did.”

The difference in race between Cat and Macon is not often explicitly referenced during their time together. Cat does not consider her race to be a hinderance, having been taught by Mom that they she and Chicken are loved and that they belong together as a family regardless of their skin color differences. It is not clear whether the ice cream clerk’s behavior is due to Cat’s race, but Cat understands that there are occasions when people view her differently for being biracial.

“Cat kept her surprise to herself and took the stairs two at a time to the driveway. Chicken liked cooking with Lily. She was glad for them to have their special thing, like she had with Macon.”

Chicken’s dependence on Cat gradually lessens as he grows to trust Lily. This is helpful for Cat as it allows her to do things on her own, such as fishing and spending time getting to know Harriet. That Cat recognizes, too, that a trust is developing between her and Macon is a sign of her maturity and insightfulness.

“‘When Chicken is happy, Caterpillar is happy. Chicken’s job is being happy, and Caterpillar’s job is making him happy’ [said Chicken]. This was exactly what Cat was afraid of. She hoped Mom didn’t see her as someone who existed just to make Chicken happy. She had her own thoughts, her own ideas, her own things she liked that had nothing to do with Chicken.”

Cat grows increasingly frustrated with Chicken’s dependence on her as well as the way in which Chicken appears to take for granted that his needs will and should come before Cat’s own. Cat worries that Mom feels this way as well, as the “Caterpillar and Chicken” books reinforce this position. Cat’s autonomy is an important theme in the novel, as Chicken’s independence will demonstrate important growth.

“‘Being a parent is a kind of promise. A promise to stand by someone even if you think they’re making a mistake. To love who you get, not who you think you’re going to get,’ [said Macon].”

Macon speaks about the feud that developed between him and Cat’s mom. Despite his initial disapproval of Mom’s life choices, Macon now acknowledges the extent of his judgment. His words apply to the circumstances between Cat and Mom: As a parent, Mom has made promises to Cat that she has broken, just as Macon did when Mom was young. Part of the conflict’s resolution hinges on Mom’s recognizing the way in which she is doing to Cat what she disliked Macon for doing to her.

“Usually, when people said this kind of thing, Cat walled off her heart. She only talked about Daddy with people who knew him well. People who didn’t know Daddy couldn’t understand what she had lost. How could she explain him to someone who had never seen his perfect way of peeling oranges or how he danced with Mom in the kitchen? But with Lily it was different. She knew him before he was her daddy. She said she liked having him visit.”

Cat’s grief for the loss of her father is an important aspect of her character. That Cat feels comfortable discussing her father with Lily indicates that she has grown to trust Lily, and that Lily, in turn, cares deeply for Cat and Chicken. The loss of Cat’s father, while different from the rift between Macon and Mom, parallels it in important ways.

“Cat […] said mental thank-yous […]. And one to John Harvey. When he pointed at Chicken, she thought John Harvey was being rude. Maybe he was, or maybe he had been the one to see Chicken needed help. She’d never admit it, but she owed him either way.”

Cat’s interactions with John Harvey are clouded by her first impression, which was unpleasant. When John Harvey’s behavior, however, is kind and magnanimous, Cat must revise her assumptions about him. Ultimately, John Harvey proves to be a more complex character than Cat initially believes.

“Half the time Mom leaned on Cat, but the other half, she shut her out. Cat was tired of going back and forth. Macon had messed up, but Mom had messed up too.”

Cat references Mom’s disagreement with Macon. Cat is frustrated because she recognizes that both Mom and Macon are to blame for their damaged relationship. Further, Cat recognizes that through Mom’s commitment to her work, history is repeating itself: Mom has fallen into a pattern of doing the same to Cat.

“‘I thought they’d fight,’ said Cat. ‘I didn’t want Chicken to give Neddie a nosebleed.’ Harriet shrugged. ‘Fights happen.’ Cat shook her head. ‘It’s different for Chicken. He gets upset.’ ‘I know you look after him,’ said Harriet. ‘But sometimes letting him handle things is a way of looking out for him, too.’”

Cat is attuned to situations that will upset Chicken and quick to intervene to circumvent them. In this case, however, Harriet prevents her from doing so, pointing out the way in which learning to reconcile unpleasantries assists Chicken in developing important skills. As he learns to handle challenging situations on his own, Chicken gains autonomy and grows less reliant on Cat.

“Oh Chicken. She hated to see him sad. There was a time that his words would have been enough to make her cancel her plans. Being a good sister was important. But sometimes, being a good friend was important, too.”

Cat’s words harken back to the moment in Chapter 1 when she turned down the invitation to Toy Boat so that Chicken would be comfortable. At the time, Cat was disappointed, but felt it best to put Chicken’s needs first. Here she demonstrates a change in her character, as she understands that her needs are also important.

“‘He [Chicken and Cat’s father] got the saddest ending,’ said Chicken. Cat nodded. ‘We all did.’ ‘It wasn’t the ending for us,’ said Chicken. ‘We have lots of pages left.’ It was such a Chicken thing way of looking at it that Cat smiled. ‘You’re right, We keep going.’”

Chicken wisely speaks of the bond between himself, Cat, and Mom. Though both Cat and Chicken experience grief over their father’s absence, they can appreciate the important people who remain in their lives. This quote underscores the symbolism of the Big Blue Book.

“[Cat] couldn’t wait for Mom to see how much she had learned. Mom would have to know it was all because of Macon. It meant he had learned to keep promises. Mom wouldn’t have to be mad anymore. They’d visit Gingerbread Island every summer, and Macon and Lily would visit San Francisco. Macon would admit he’d been wrong about how he’d reacted. Mom would admit she’d carried a grudge for too long. They would be a family again. And Cat was the one who could make it happen.”

Through fishing, Cat hopes to strengthen her bond to Mom, then, in turn, provide an opportunity for Macon and Mom to rekindle their relationship. The novel’s ending suggests that Cat’s prediction of the future will come to light; however, in this moment, it appears doubtful that Mom will ever change.

“John Harvey was there, of course, standing next to Briggs. […] Briggs’s hand snuck out in a lightening punch to John Harvey’s ribs. It happened so quickly, Cat would have missed it if she hadn’t been looking right at them. John Harvey stayed silent but rubbed his side gingerly. Cat had a flash of that same feeling she had when she met John Harvey that day on the beach—that he was someone who needed protecting. But it faded as she remembered the mud on her bike and his taunts about the contest.”

Cat begins to recognize the complexity in John Harvey’s character. She tries to reconcile the bully version of John Harvey with the kinder version who intervenes on Chicken’s behalf. Later, Cat will acknowledge that there are both good and bad elements within John Harvey.

“Cat didn’t know what to think. It was easier to think of John Harvey as one thing—a bad kid. But when she thought of his smirk, she also saw his wide-open smile with the playground kids. His scratchy voice bragging about fishing trophies was the same voice that had warned her about Chicken at the parade. The truth was that John Harvey wasn’t one way or the other. He was good and bad, at the same time. ‘I used to believe in people being all bad or all good,’ she said. ‘But now I don’t. Most people are good and bad all mixed together.’”

Cat wisely comes to understand the complexity within all people. John Harvey is flawed, but he also possesses positive traits. That Cat recognizes this demonstrates her maturity and insightfulness. Cat repeatedly voices her disdain for the way her mother has held a grudge against Macon. Cat’s ability not to do the same with John Harvey suggests Cat has learned from Mom’s mistakes.

“Cat’s cheeks hurt from smiling. Second place wasn’t what she had dreamed of, so why was she so happy? After the day of fishing, her arms ached and her legs were like jelly. She was sore, she was tired, she was soaked. And she was happy. She looked at Macon. He had moved on to a different story, eyes sparkling, hands sideways to show how big the fish had been. He saw her looking and squeezed her shoulder in a one-armed hug. If this is what second place felt like, Cat would take it every time.”

While Cat’s initial goal in competing in the fishing contest was to outperform John Harvey, becoming closer to Macon is an unexpected outcome. Ultimately, this outcome is much more satisfying and rewarding than beating John Harvey. Macon’s support of Cat provides her with love and a sense of belonging. Similarly, the changes undergone by Macon’s character are evident in the pride he feels in Cat.

“Macon brought [the sign] closer, and she saw. Underneath the thick letters were two new carvings. To the left was a chicken. To the right, a cat. The chicken looked playful and happy. The cat was serious and strong. Cat traced the grooves in the wood. She was Cat, not Caterpillar. Somehow, Macon knew.”

Macon’s adding Cat and Chicken to the house’s sign signifies his acceptance of them. This demonstrates a dramatic change from his behavior at Cat and Chicken’s arrival. Cat and Chicken have found their place as a part of Macon and Lily’s family. Macon understands Cat’s desire for independence and autonomy, symbolized by her wish to no longer be called Caterpillar.

“Cat’s thoughts swirled. She felt the sensation of her life splitting into a Before and After, like the Before and After of Daddy dying. If Chicken was lost, her life would be forever divided by this night. All of her Before life would be on one side. The other side, past the moment of losing Chicken, would be After. If he was lost, she could never get back to the Before. Her life would never be whole again.”

When Chicken goes missing, Cat becomes highly anxious. Her words speak to the importance of Chicken in her life. Though she has grown frustrated with her responsibility to care for Chicken, Cat loves Chicken deeply and knows her life would not be the same without him.

“‘You don’t know what it was like,’ Mom said. ‘[Macon] was never here. It was like I didn’t have a dad at all.’ As soon as the words were out, she clapped her hands over her mouth like she wanted to put them back in. For a moment, everyone was still – even Chicken. When Cat spoke, she did so slowly. ‘I know exactly what that’s like, Mom. Maybe he was away a lot, but it’s not like it is for Chicken and me.’”

Mom contrasts her childhood to Cat’s, not realizing as she speaks that the statement is an unfair and inaccurate one, as Cat’s father is indeed deceased. Mom is trying to convey the way in which it felt, emotionally, as if she did not have a father, but Cat understands such an absence better than Mom, having lost her own father to death. Further, Cat can indeed imagine what Mom’s childhood with a workaholic parent is like as Cat’s own life has taken the same form as Mom focuses on work to Cat’s detriment.

“Mom continued, ‘When I was growing up, [Macon] was gone a lot. Now, he thought he was doing the right thing by providing for us, and maybe he was. But the truth is, I felt like he never saw me for who I was. I was his pretty Amanda, his sweet Amanda, almost like a pet—or a toy. I hated that feeling. And when he came face-to-face with who I was . . . with what I wanted . . . he couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t handle me.’”

Mom explains to Cat the reasons for her estrangement from Macon. Mom continues to be upset for Macon’s emotional absence from her childhood, even though she is an adult. Ironically, there are parallels between Mom and Cat that Mom does not completely recognize. Cat, too, has grown upset for the way Mom views her as “Caterpillar” who will always put Chicken’s needs above her own. These parallels make it easy for Cat to understand where Mom is coming from, though Cat recognizes that Macon is apologetic for his past mistakes.