Carrie Soto Is Back

In the first round, Carrie plays Petra Zetov, whom she quickly defeats. Then, she moves quickly through the second and third rounds. Nicki likewise moves on to the final 16. That night, Carrie rests, reading a book about a band called Daisy Jones and the Six. Javier calls and asks if she saw Bowe’s match. Bowe moved to the quarterfinals for the first time since 1991. Carrie considers calling him, but she decides not to.

The next day, Javier mixes up Nicki’s and Carrie’s opponents. Carrie corrects him and then wipes her shoes clean, just as she always has.

In round 16, Carrie plays Odette Moretti. It is close, but then Carrie finds “the hum in [her] bones” (214). She defeats Moretti and moves on to the quarterfinals. She feels herself tearing up and tries to keep herself from crying. Then, she thinks that she doesn’t have to do what she’s always done. She lets herself cry.

After the match, Carrie sees Bowe on TV. He lost because he tore the cartilage in his ribs. A reporter asks if he’ll pull out of an upcoming event. Bowe replies that he will, but he’s staying at the French Open to watch Carrie, adding, “I think what she’s doing here is remarkable. And I want to be able to say I saw it happen” (216).

Carrie goes to Bowe’s hotel, admitting that she was mean. He says that he was too. They go up to his room, and a young boy recognizes them. Bowe says it’s difficult being next to her sometimes, since she’s always noticed. However, he would never want her to apologize for it.

He’s in a lot of pain and knows that he won’t be able to play Wimbledon either. Carrie apologizes for their fight. She also admits that it means something to her that he’s sticking around. They’re quiet, and Carrie leaves.

Carrie and Javier prepare the next morning for her match against Antonovich. Javier tells Carrie that she’s not as fast as Antonovich. To win, he thinks, Carrie will have to use her instincts and experience. She needs to control the court. That way, she can make it a slower game.

He is afraid of how Carrie will react if Nicki breaks Carrie’s record. He isn’t concerned about the record; he’s worried about Carrie herself. Carrie thinks about how losing has always had an effect on her. She decides to work on both her speed and her control of the court. 

The first set starts off with Carrie down by two shots. Antonovich wins the match.

Javier tries to encourage her, but Carrie yells at him, telling him not to say that she played her best since she doesn’t agree. He admits that she might not be the greatest living tennis player anymore, and points out that she doesn’t really want his honest opinion: “[Y]ou want my honest opinion to be the exact thing you need to hear” (229).

Carrie retorts that it’s his fault she can’t handle failure. She blames him for not believing that she could have beaten Stepanova in the past. He takes responsibility for making her believe she needed to be perfect, but says she must accept that she might not be. Carrie says that she can’t accept that she may lose her record. Javier says he can’t do anything more to help her and leaves.

When Carrie returns to the hotel, she sees Bowe and, surprisingly, hugs him. He encourages her to focus on the next match. In her hotel room, he says that people respect how much she is trying to accomplish. They talk about Javier; Bowe thinks that no parent believes in their child more than Javier believes in Carrie. They also talk about Bowe’s uncle who played tennis. He’s the reason Bowe started playing, but Bowe was never good enough for him. Carrie points out that she’s “what happens when you do exactly what your dad wants” and he is “what happens when you don’t do what your dad wants,” yet they’re “both disasters” (232).

Bowe says he wishes Carrie could see her situation from the outside. Bowe says in Spanish, “You are perfect, even in your imperfection” (232). Carrie is in awe. He admits that he asked a woman in the lobby of the hotel to translate a few phrases for him. Eventually, Carrie gets him to show her the note containing the other phrases. There are three:

You are perfect, even in your imperfection.

You are completely insufferable, and I can’t stop thinking about you.

I want the real thing this time (233).

Carrie kisses him. She asks him several times if she’s hurting his ribs, but he tells her not to worry, and they have sex.

They spend the next few days together in Paris. The night before they leave, they watch the final between Nicki and Antonovich at a restaurant. Nicki wins, breaking Carrie’s record. Javier appears to check on Carrie. They spend the night talking at the bistro, and Javier offers to coach Bowe for the US Open if his rib is healed by then. Javier subtly raises an eyebrow at Carrie to ask indirectly about her relationship with Bowe. Carrie nods, and Javier smiles. They all walk back to the hotel together.

On the plane home, Bowe tries to rest his head on Carrie’s shoulder, but she shrugs it off. She says that when their relationship goes bad, she doesn’t want to have to answer questions about it. She realizes what she’s said, but he drops it, staying quiet for a while before they resume conversation.

When they get off the plane, Javier collapses. Later, a cardiologist declares that Javier is in stage three heart failure and needs surgery. Carrie realizes that her father has been hiding it from her. They argue, but he tells her that she should not worry about him. He will do the surgery. He plans on being at Wimbledon with her, not having known the last time they were there together that he wouldn’t coach her again. She tries to stay with him in the hospital, but he sends her home, making her promise to play Wimbledon even if he can’t come. When she leaves, she worries he won’t leave the hospital.

On the day of the surgery, she waits for him, and it goes well. He has to stay in the hospital for a week, but he thinks that Carrie should go to London to practice on grass. When Bowe appears, Javier says that Bowe will come to check on him while Carrie is away, and she quickly realizes that they planned this. Carrie hates that they’re right and that she needs to go.

She doesn’t want to leave, but Javier tells her to go enjoy playing, which is “the one thing [she has] forgotten” (249).

Carrie goes to London. Her driver comments that Carrie holds the record for most Wimbledon wins, which she confirms.

At the hotel, Carrie calls the hospital to check on Javier. Bowe answers. She says that it feels weird without them. Bowe passes along Javier’s note: “Spend tomorrow remembering the joy of grass. Do not play to win or to find perfection. Play to observe yourself and the ball” (252).

The next morning, Carrie is thrilled by playing on grass. She wonders if her whole season has been leading to Wimbledon. She spots Nicki, who comes over. They both booked courts to practice on until Wimbledon starts. Nicki suggests getting a drink, but Carrie says that she probably won’t. Nicki believes that Carrie keeps other players at a distance so she doesn’t feel conflicted about defeating them, and Carrie agrees. Nicki, however, says, “I’d wreck my best friend in cold blood on national television” (254).

Carrie can’t sleep the next night. She watches a video of herself playing Antonovich in Paris. She sees herself trying to prove that she’s faster than the other woman when she isn’t. She goes out early onto the court, reflecting on how Javier got her form to be part of her routine. It has made thinking on her feet on the court as easy as breathing. Grass, she thinks, is perfect for this. As she practices, “it feels like [she is] Carrie Soto”—the Carrie Soto of 1983, not 1995 (257).

When the ball machine runs out, she turns to see Nicki watching her. She’d come early to beat Carrie and compliments Carrie’s form, calling it “breathtaking” (257). Carrie surprises herself by asking Nicki to meet her for a drink.

They meet at the Savoy, and the bartender recognizes Carrie, complimenting the line of shoes named for her. Nicki and Carrie talk about the celebrity that comes with playing tennis, and Nicki says, “Isn’t it strange? How you get into this because you like to hit a ball around a court…? And then, suddenly, […] it’s okay for people to call you ‘the Beast’ just because you’re strong?” (259). She goes on to say people make racist comments under the guise of humor. She adds that she can only imagine what will happen when they find out she’s a lesbian.

Nicki looks to see if this startles Carrie, but Carrie doesn’t care. She’s impressed by anyone who can keep a romantic relationship going. However, Carrie acknowledges that it’s probably not easy for Nicki to have to wonder who to tell this to, and she realizes she likes Nicki more for being willing to trust her.

Nicki wonders why Carrie really came back, and Carrie insists that it’s to win her record back. When Nicki presses her, Carrie points out that Nicki “[hasn’t] had to go up against anyone great” (260). Nicki notes that all of the press has been around Carrie, even though Nicki’s the one winning. Carrie reminds her that it isn’t all good press; people are also talking about how old she is.

They commiserate about how they both seem to need one another. Carrie gives Nicki something to fight against, and Nicki gives Carrie a reason to play. This is new for Carrie since her rivalry with Stepanova was extremely negative. Nicki says that they’re friends. Carrie tries to deny it, but Nicki says it’s good that they are. She claims that if Carrie had had friends the first time around, she might not have a need to play now. This hurts Carrie, who has only ever had tennis and her father.

Two days before Wimbledon, Javier is released from the hospital. Over the phone, they go over the strategy for the tournament. It’s likely that Carrie will play Antonovich again, and Carrie agrees to use Javier’s strategy from Paris. Javier adds that she should hold back at first and trick her opponent.

When she talks to Bowe, he says that she may not want to take his advice. Carrie corrects him, saying that she’s listening.

The next morning—the morning of her first match against Cami Dryer—Gwen appears at Carrie’s door. They hug, and Carrie confesses that it’s odd being without her dad, especially because it felt like the point of her comeback was to win with him.