Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?: A Memoir

Nonfiction | Graphic Memoir | Adult | Published in 2014

A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.

Download PDF

Summary

Background

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Introduction-Chapter 4

Chapters 5-9

Chapters 10-14

Chapter 15-Epilogue

Key Figures

Themes

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

Tools

Beta

Discussion Questions

Introduction-Chapter 4Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Introduction Summary

The graphic memoir opens by depicting the author, Roz Chast sitting on a couch with her aging parents, Elizabeth and George, in a series of comic-style illustrations. Chast candidly asks them if they’ve made plans for after their deaths. Her parents respond with awkward laughter. As the narrator, Chast reveals that discussing death, or spirituality, opposed her parents’ principles. They preferred a pragmatic approach to life. When asked about her belief in an afterlife, Chast’s mother stated, “When you’re dead, you’ll know” (12).

Chast explains that, in 1940, while pregnant, her mother climbed a staircase to change a lightbulb, which led to a hemorrhage. She gave birth, but the baby (Chast’s older sister) died a day later. Her mother referred to the incident as “that mess.” Her parents never disclosed where the baby was buried and avoided discussing it. Both George and Elizabeth had tragic backgrounds: They were the children of Jewish immigrants who came from Russia to America with nothing and grew up in poverty. They lost many family members to illnesses and the Holocaust. Reflecting on their history, Chast muses, “Who could blame them for not wanting to talk about death?” (14). George and Elizabeth referred to each other as soulmates: They were born 10 days apart, grew up close to each other in East Harlem, were in the same class at school, and did everything together. They were deeply codependent and could not envision life without one another.

Chapter 1 Summary: “The Beginning of the End”

Chast recounts two key aspects of her childhood: She was an only child, and her parents were older than those of her peers. Despite their age, they never discussed the future or their mortality. Chast soon realized that they would need assistance as they aged, but they never asked for help. In 1999, Chast, then pregnant, moved with her husband and their three-year-old son from the city to the suburbs of Connecticut for more space. She had always disliked Brooklyn (where her parents still lived), finding it sad. Her negative childhood memories kept her away for 11 years because she was preoccupied with work and had no desire to return. However, one day she decided to visit her parents. It was Sunday, September 9, 2001.

Once she arrived in New York, Chast headed to her parents’ building, the same one she grew up in. As she entered, she was filled with “dread, guilt, and a weird kind of claustrophobia” (20). Everything about the building remained unchanged. Inside her parents’ apartment, she noticed grime everywhere. She realized that her mother had aged significantly, given that she once had meticulous cleaning habits. She feels helpless, thinking, “I wasn’t great as a caretaker, and they weren’t great at being taken care of” (23). Two days later, the attack on the World Trade Center happened. Back home, Chast called her parents to discuss the news. Her mother mentioned that she would eat at the nearby Afghan restaurant to show that she didn’t think all Afghans were bad. Life soon returned to normal. By 2002, her parents were 90 years old. With each visit, Chast noticed more grime in their apartment, and they were becoming increasingly frail.

Chapter 2 Summary: “Return to the Fold”

Chast started visiting her parents more often. Each time, she noticed that the neighborhood was deteriorating, and people there looked like they hated their lives. Chast guiltily wished her parents would peacefully die in their sleep together, sparing her from having to deal with their decline. When she didn’t visit, Chast spoke with them on the phone. Her parents told her about their cataract-removal surgeries, minor illnesses, and broken heater, which they replaced with a 30-year-old one. She reflects that her mother’s ailments were mostly physical, while her father’s ailments were mental, noting, “Things were going downhill, but for many years, the decline was blessedly gradual” (34).

Old age didn’t change Elizabeth and George’s personalities but intensified them. George was full of worries and anxieties. This trait prevented him from learning to drive, swim, or ride a bike. He had food anxieties and ate very slowly, while Elizabeth ate quickly. Despite his many anxieties, George was kind and sensitive, and Chast acknowledged that she was more like him than her mother. Elizabeth had a “terrible temper” and a “thick skin” (38), while Chast and her father wore their hearts on their sleeves. Growing up, Chast’s father taught her games and walked with her to the candy store. Her mother, decisive and uncompromising, often got angry at George for being slow or messy and had frequent outbursts.

Chapter 3 Summary: “The Elder Lawyer”

By October 2005, Elizabeth and George were both 93 and were increasingly frail. They rarely left their apartment, and Chast worried about her mother driving. A friend informed Chast about Elder Lawyers, specialists in wills and end-of-life directives. She decided to consult one. Chast reflected on her parents’ aversion to discussing unpleasant topics and their trust issues. Her mother often told her stories of “heartless children” who placed their “elderly victim-parents” (46) in nursing homes. Elizabeth and George had a complicated relationship with money. Having grown up without it, they preferred to keep it in the bank rather than invest. They never bought a house, considering it too much responsibility.

The Elder Lawyer visited their apartment, and, surprisingly, Elizabeth and George allowed him to review their finances and discuss their wishes regarding extraordinary measures in the event of brain death. Elizabeth declined such measures, and they signed the necessary papers, granting Chast power of attorney.

Chapter 4 Summary: “Galapagos”

In December 2005, Chast reflected on her desire to impress her parents, a sentiment dating back to her childhood. She called them to share the news that she was going to the Galapagos Islands for work. Her mother responded enthusiastically and told her they had gone there 30 years earlier. She mentioned receiving a certificate from “KING NEPTUNE” for crossing the Equator and promises to find it for Chast.

The certificate was stored in what Elizabeth called the “crazy closet”: a closet full of old items she didn’t want to throw away. Days passed without another call from her parents, and Chast reached out again. This time, her father answered the phone.

Introduction-Chapter 4 Analysis

As a graphic memoir, Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant? tells Chast’s personal story of caring for her parents during the final years of their lives. Chast is the memoir’s author, illustrator, and narrator, telling the story largely through comic-style illustrations. An old photograph of young Chast and her parents precedes the Introduction, offering a glimpse of the family in real life. The Introduction provides context about her parents’ backgrounds and personalities, narrating nonchronologically the events of her older sister’s death, her move to Connecticut, and her childhood with parents who were older than most. In addition, the memoir introduces the theme of Caring for Aging Parents in the depiction of Chast’s parents, Elizabeth and George, laughing off her question about whether they had thought about death, revealing their reluctance to confront their mortality and plan for aging.

The story’s main events begin in Chapter 1 when she describes how, upon visiting her parents in Brooklyn after many years away, she was shocked by how much her parents had aged as she visited their apartment after her long absence: For instance, she was surprised to find a coating of grime in the apartment given that her mother previously kept the home tidy. This raised Chast’s concern, prompting her to visit more frequently as the memoir proceeds and revealing George and Elizabeth’s progressive frailty in other ways. Discussions about cataract-removal surgeries and minor illnesses highlighted their physical decline. Chast observes, “Things were going downhill, but for many years, the decline was blessedly gradual” (34). Her parents’ increasing rate of decline generated anxiety and helplessness in her. Encapsulating the memoir’s central conflict, the author reflects, “I wasn’t great as a caretaker, and they weren’t great at being taken care of” (23). This statement foreshadows the challenges that unfold in the next chapters.

Another significant theme that the memoir introduces is Emotional Avoidance as a Coping Mechanism. Chast’s parents tended to suppress their emotions, often resorting to humor as a defense mechanism to avoid serious discussions about death and their declining health. Exemplifying this tendency to bury emotions was a tragic accident in 1940: Chast’s mother, while pregnant, climbed a staircase to change a lightbulb and later hemorrhaged, resulting in the baby’s death a day later. Elizabeth dismissively referred to this traumatic event as “that mess” and never told Chast where the baby was buried. Both of her parents were reluctant to talk about the incident. Despite their shared tendency to bury emotions, the book characterizes Elizabeth and George as opposites. Chast reflects on how her father “chain-worried the way others might chain-smoke” (35). Perpetually anxious, he never learned to drive, swim, or ride a bike, instead leading a cautious existence. In contrast, Elizabeth was strong-willed and prone to frequent outbursts.

Chast combines color illustrations, written commentary, and photographs to create a rich, multidimensional narrative. The illustrations add significant depth to the story, and the author uses colors and analogies to convey emotions and themes. For instance, the blue illustration of her deceased baby sister on Page 13 represents loss and sorrow, while on Page 17, the “moving sidewalk of life” illustration symbolizes the swift passage of time. In addition, the illustrations introduce humor into the narrative. For example, on Page 15, Chast depicts her parents as babies in baby clothes, highlighting their immaturity; on Page 42, a full-page illustration shows Elizabeth as a giant, shouting at tiny versions of Chast and her father, visually capturing Elizabeth’s domineering personality through exaggeration.

The memoir establishes a sense of place and the lasting impressions that the place of one’s childhood can make as well as the recollections and emotions it can invoke when one returns. In Chapter 1, Chast recalls her thoughts when she returns to Brooklyn after many years, describing the setting of the neighborhood: “This was the DEEP Brooklyn, the Brooklyn of people who have been left behind by everything and everyone” (19), distinct from the trendy, hipster Brooklyn. She expresses her disdain for the neighborhood, which she finds saddening. Reinforcing this sentiment are illustrations that depict run-down buildings and desolate streets. The illustrations on Page 29 show trash-littered pavement and shop signs bearing humorous names like “BRUISED FRUIT STORE” and “DIM & DUSTY,” creating a bleak atmosphere. Chast perceives Brooklyn as stuck in the past, struggling to keep up with the rest of the world, and, like her parents, aging.