Almond

Fall arrives, and Yunjae feels himself begin to change with it. He watches a K-pop show and dwells on how the singer tells the crowd that she loves them. Feeling like love is an extreme state, he asks Gon what he thinks love is, and Gon laughs and says he doesn’t care; he wants to be tough like a person named Steel Wire instead. The name fills Yunjae with dread. Yunjae himself thinks that the love between a man and a woman is purely for reproduction. Lacking answers, Yunjae remembers a conversation between his mother and grandmother about love; his grandmother describes it as “discovering beauty.”

Yunjae pictures Lee Dora running whenever he thinks of her—throwing her glasses to the ground when she runs and putting them back on her face when she finishes each race. All that he knows about her is that she runs and that the images of her running linger in his mind.

Yunjae saw Dora for the first time at the entrance ceremony, where she stood at the end of the hallway warming up. He describes her as different from other people because she is extraordinarily calm, although not more mature. She ignores most events and people at school and only thinks about running. Yunjae thinks she “seemed like someone who could exist on her own” (178). He notes that she looks vastly different without her glasses, which seem to obscure her real self.

Yunjae’s mother opens her eyes, but nothing else changes about her condition. He decides to shut down the bookstore and brings books to donate to the library, where he runs into Dora, practicing running in place in the library to get some privacy. She is the only person on the unfunded track team for the school and talks about her passion for running enthusiastically. She explains that her parents are disappointed in her choice to be a runner, but she thinks of her life as her own and refuses to change for others. She says she may stop by the bookstore, especially if they stop letting her practice in the library.

Yunjae notes that his grades in language classes are poor, compared to his other average grades, perhaps indicating his struggle with emotion and meaning. Dora comes to the bookstore, and Yunjae acts more awkwardly than usual. They talk briefly about his alexithymia and then about what they want to be when they grow up, which neither of them fully knows. Dora leaves soon after.

Yunjae and Dora have an encounter in the street on the walk home where they get very close to each other. Afterward, Yunjae can’t sleep, thinking about the moment, and cannot remember the weather and the circumstances accurately. He experiences physical sensations like he is sick as he thinks about the way her hair touched his face.

Gon is confused by Yunjae’s strange condition, and Yunjae pushes him away, still confused and sick. Yunjae runs into Dr. Shim and seeks his advice, sure he is sick. Dr. Shim congratulates him on growing so much and tells him he has a crush on Dora. Yunjae’s symptoms continue when he is around Dora, much to his frustration; he wishes he could stop experiencing the crush.

Dora stops by the bookstore often. They discuss dinosaurs and Yunjae’s mother; he notices that Dora finds everything in the world lovely. Dora asks if she can visit his mother at the hospital. She holds his mother’s hands and talks to her gently, and Yunjae slowly starts to talk to his mother too, realizing the point of the action. He tells her all about his recent life and realizes that he needs to talk to his mother in the same way Dr. Shim bakes for his dead wife.

Yunjae feels like he is keeping Dora a secret from Gon, and their relationship starts to change. Gon begins to spend time with “delinquents” from other schools and causes more trouble at his own school; parents start to get involved. He tells Yunjae stories about his activities with the gangs and Yunjae struggles to understand why they amuse him. Gon tells Yunjae that he wants to start acting in the same way people expect him to, which fills Yunjae with dread again.

Yunjae finishes closing the bookstore, and as he smells the remaining book smell, he realizes he wants to understand people and the world and “learn what it was to be human” (199). Dora appears, and he asks her if he could ever write and be understood by others. She doesn’t answer his question and gets close to him. She points out his racing heartbeat, telling him it is because of her, and then kisses him on the lips. She says that she understands him a bit better now and asks if she is qualified to be in his story; Yunjae replies with a “maybe,” which makes her laugh. She says that isn’t a satisfactory answer and skips out of the bookstore. Yunjae looks out the window and sees Gon watching; the other boy smiles faintly and leaves.

Yunjae skips the school field trip to look after his mother but instead stays at school and reads. On the trip, Gon is accused of stealing the money collected to buy class snacks when the envelope is found inside his backpack. He insists he is innocent, as he was at an Internet café all night, but nobody believes him, and he is considered guilty of the theft. Gossip spreads that Professor Yun reimbursed the money, cementing Gon’s guilt.

In Korean class, Gon starts a fight with a teacher, who leaves the room. Gon offers to beat up anyone in the classroom for money, but nobody takes his offer. Yunjae notices that he is near tears and tells him to stop, but Gon reacts furiously, sarcastically demanding Yunjae tell him what to do and trashing the classroom. Dora appears in the doorway and calls Gon trash, her expression incomprehensible to Yunjae. Teachers appear to take control of the situation, but Gon slips away, and nobody follows him.

Gon shows up at the bookstore and calls Yunjae a player, telling him he is jealous that he has a girl to stand up for him. He asks Yunjae if he thinks he stole the money, and Yunjae responds that anyone could have done it, and he is not surprised everyone thought Gon did it. Gon agrees with him and says that is why he didn’t fight the accusation. Gon then says he must be stronger, as he’s “too old to go back” and cannot keep himself from being hurt (210). He gives Yunjae a middle finger and a soft smile as a goodbye. Yunjae then ominously says that only tragedy followed his departure.