After I Do

Lauren’s husband, Ryan Cooper, is a primary, dynamic character. The couple meets when they are attending UCLA, and Lauren initially sees Ryan “as smooth and confident, poised and charming” (7). Once they start dating, she discovers that although he is these things “to a certain degree,” he is also “turn[ing] out to be […] entirely human” (7). Her growing intimacy with Ryan helps her to understand that Ryan is “just comfortable enough with himself to seem as if he [understands] the world better than the rest of us” (7). This new clarity on Ryan’s personality allows Lauren to connect with him more easily. Ryan is indeed lovable and charming, but he is also a flawed person with his own frustrations, dislikes, and challenges. Over time, these flaws become more glaring to Lauren, ultimately threatening the couple’s ability to communicate in a healthy way.

Ryan changes over the course of his separation from Lauren. He feels sad and alone when he first moves out of the couple’s Hancock Park home, but he is resolved to go through with the separation because he wants to learn about himself, about Lauren, and about their marriage on his own terms. Over time, the separation teaches Ryan that he still loves Lauren. Seeing other women grants him a greater degree of perspective on how unique and special his marriage really is. Like Lauren, he is a self-reflective character who proves capable of significant change. At the novel’s beginning, Lauren’s narration presents him as a selfish, uncommunicative partner, but his email drafts to Lauren suggest otherwise. Although Ryan has not always put Lauren first, his time away from her helps him to recognize and correct these faults.

Ryan decides to give his marriage another chance because he values Lauren as a person and a partner. The separation makes him miss the love that he and Lauren have fostered together, and he also gains perspective on his place in Lauren’s family. In particular, he comes to understand how deeply Charlie values his friendship. Meanwhile, Ryan has also learned to be vulnerable and to own his feelings even when they are difficult to acknowledge or express. He and Lauren ultimately reconcile because, like Lauren, Ryan learns how to address his mistakes and embrace the future with a realistic outlook.

Rachel is Lauren’s younger sister and Charlie’s older sister. She is different from Lauren and Charlie because she is the only Spencer sibling who isn’t in a relationship. Rachel starts to open up to Lauren about her stance on relationships when she and Lauren start spending time together in the wake of Lauren’s separation from Ryan. The sisters start going out together and pursuing the same pastimes, and they also become more honest about their feelings. Rachel admits that while she often feels excluded from Lauren and Charlie’s life experiences, she doesn’t envy them.

Instead, Rachel is an independent, self-possessed, and determined person who pursues her own hobbies without shame or fear. She sets aside time to take care of herself and cultivate her artistic practices. She is also capable of acknowledging others’ criticism and advice, and she even decides to open her own bakery per her sister’s suggestion. She plays a pivotal role in Lauren’s evolution by demonstrating the importance of claiming an independent outlook and making time to invest in familial relationships.

Charlie Spencer is a secondary character. He is Lauren and Rachel’s younger brother and Leslie’s youngest child. In the narrative present, Charlie is 25 years old. For as long as Lauren can remember, Charlie has been uninterested in pursuing a committed, romantic relationship. To Lauren, Charlie’s independent and free-spirited nature is a key facet of her brother’s identity. She is therefore shocked when she learns that Charlie is going to have a child with Natalie, a woman with whom he had sex one time “on an airplane” (171). However, Charlie is resolved to become a good father. He is tired of “moving from place to place, thinking [he’s] going on these adventures, and nothing ever com[ing] of it” (170). Charlie’s maturation therefore inspires Lauren. When she witnesses how profoundly her brother is changing, she realizes that she too may be capable of a similar level of personal growth. Charlie is therefore influential to Lauren’s character development. She learns from her brother’s experience and also discovers the importance of investing in her relationship with him: a connection that she has overlooked for some time.

Leslie is a secondary, static character. She is Lauren, Rachel, and Charlie’s mother and Lois’s daughter. Leslie’s lack of change over the course of the novel is indicative of her constancy and reliability. She acts as an archetypal guide to Lauren, particularly in the wake of Lauren’s separation from Ryan. Lauren has always admired her mother, but after Ryan moves out, she starts to go to Leslie for advice more often. Leslie’s relationship history informs her wisdom and her thoughtful outlook on life in the narrative present, and she has gained a great deal of insight from the fact that her children’s father left her when she was still pregnant with Charlie, forcing her raise her family and run her household alone. She has proven herself to be a strong, confident, and self-possessed person, and her divorce has taught her the importance of having love and intimacy in her life. Without shame, she acknowledges her desire for romantic passion and pursues relationships with men on these terms. Her sexual and romantic freedom helps Lauren to see the multivalent nature of intimacy. Leslie is also a strong maternal figure; she refrains from judging Lauren and promises to support her no matter how her marriage turns out.

Lois is another secondary, static character. Like Leslie, Lois’s lack of change is a sign of her stability. She is Leslie’s mother and Lauren, Rachel, and Charlie’s grandmother. Therefore, she represents something of a fixture in Lauren’s family structure, and during Lauren’s time alone, she suddenly realizes that she has neglected her relationship with Lois. The separation inspires Lauren to start communicating more openly with her grandmother and to begin seeking Lois’s advice on love and marriage. Lois has more traditional viewpoints on relationships than Lauren does, but she nonetheless provides Lauren with valuable relational insight that helps Lauren to transform her understanding of intimacy. Lois dies in Part 5, and her passing marks the end of an era.