A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again

Wallace writes about his trip to the 1993 Illinois State Fair when Harper’s magazine tasked him with writing about the fair; he grew up in rural Illinois but admits that he didn’t really miss it. A friend and former lover, an Illinois resident who he refers to as Native Companion, accompanied him to the 1993 fair. After he collected his press credentials the previous week, Wallace and his friend arrived for the first day. Several rides and livestock tents were already open, though the fair hadn’t yet become busy. This plays on Wallace’s nostalgic recollection of his childhood, a “radically self-centered” (89) time when the world seemed built for his personal enjoyment. He visited the horses, cows, and swine (but avoided the poultry due to a long-standing phobia). Next, they visited the carnival-like games and rides. Two fair workers grinned while offering Native Companion a ride on the Zipper, “a kind of Ferris Wheel on amphetamines” (98). The men fooled around with the ride, at one point halting Native Companion’s cart upside-down in such a way that Wallace became convinced that they were “ogling her nethers” (99). While he was angry (though he said nothing), Native Companion dismissed his concerns. Wallace wondered whether this was “just the sort of regional politico-sexual contrast the swanky East-Coast magazine is keen for” (101).

Wallace and Native Companion then explored the fair’s various food stalls. The variety of food was an embarrassment of riches created by “Illinois’ complete lack of ethnic identity” (103). After eating, they watched livestock shows, which “earnest, nervous, pride-puffed” (105) farm kids attended. Wallace found the judging parameters for the livestock competitions obscure and baroque. By late afternoon, he had sweat through three shirts. The various stimuli overwhelmed him, prompting him to realize that he viewed the fair differently than the locals. Unlike those on the dense, urban East Coast (Wallace counted himself among this crowd, despite his upbringing), the rural Midwesterners spent most of their time in vast, empty spaces, so the dense hyperactivity of the fair was a “neat inversion” of Wallace’s idea of getting away from it all.

The following day, Wallace intended to “hit the Dessert Competitions” (111). He ate so much that he had to seek medical help, thus essentially wasting an entire day. The next day, heavy rains fell, turning the fair into a bog. Wallace explored the fair as the weather cleared. He was fascinated by the violence at the Illinois State Jr. Baton-Twirling Finals, where many spectators were brutalized by wayward batons. After, Wallace visited the Expo Bldg., a large interior air-conditioned space where stalls sold products “AS SEEN ON TV” (118) to a very different crowd of people than those attending the agriculture and livestock parts of the fair. Wallace scrutinized the church booths and dwelled on the “populist evangelism of the rural Midwest” (122), nearly getting into a philosophical debate with one churchgoer, against his better judgment. Wallace thoroughly enjoyed the Prairie State Cloggers Competition, in which misshapen married couples tapped out highly synchronized, captivating routines, each better than the last. Wallace almost missed the United States Auto Club (USAC) 100 race and, by the time he arrived in the stand, the confusion of smoke and noise made him wish he was back at the clogging competition. As the day ended, Wallace watched a boing competition involving various age groups (16, 14, 12, and 10).

In the evening, Wallace thought about the “strong digestive subtheme” (131) that ran through the fair. Food was consumed and excavated in a constant cycle as people vomited after using the fairground rides. Wallace did not enjoy the adrenaline-inducing rides and, for the first time, felt “truly lonely” and removed from his Midwestern roots. He watched a fellow East Coast attendee approach one of the fair’s most extreme rides. Wallace wanted to watch the man experience the violent ride but, at the last moment, lost his nerve. He refused to “be a part of this, even as a witness” (137).